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That would work, except she moved him 2+ hours away from us, and she is actually in training the Air Force so he is living with her mom while she is away.
He actually really doesn't want partial custody (I don't want lectures on that.. its a loooong story and its not going to change) Even if he did.. its two different courts to go through that. You have custody battle and child support battle that would have to be done. Its costly. We have ourselves budgeted on our income.. and one day she will have to grow up and do the same.
I dont give lectures on people custody issues, everyone has their reasons, he is atleast doing his share.
my ex is "forced" to send me money... and then calls me and asks for it back... he has actually told me that he is going to go on Workmens comp for a back injury and call CSE to ask if they will hold his payments so that he can pay for his car...
my ex is "forced" to send me money... and then calls me and asks for it back... he has actually told me that he is going to go on Workmens comp for a back injury and call CSE to ask if they will hold his payments so that he can pay for his car...
I would fight him on that one, and NO dont give money back!!!!
I have a question.. don't know if anyone would be able to answer it though.. hehe
My husband always calls his CSA when he gets raises and promotions so that way the child support can be adjusted accordingly. He is very good about that, and doesn't want them to have to investigate him every couple years. But, when he gets a bonus, is he required to update the CSA on that as well? I mean, its not something he gets every other month or anything.. but if the store does well.. he will bonus. I don't think that she gets to have any rights to that.. but I am not sure.
I have a question.. don't know if anyone would be able to answer it though.. hehe
My husband always calls his CSA when he gets raises and promotions so that way the child support can be adjusted accordingly. He is very good about that, and doesn't want them to have to investigate him every couple years. But, when he gets a bonus, is he required to update the CSA on that as well? I mean, its not something he gets every other month or anything.. but if the store does well.. he will bonus. I don't think that she gets to have any rights to that.. but I am not sure.
As far as my experiences as long as the bonuses are not tied into how much he makes in a year they are his and she cant touch them.
Before anyone has a child they ought to think whether they can afford the raising of the child themselves, most non custodial parents do not pay the full amount of child support or they miss payments, so before you have a child make sure you can support the child by yourself, do not depend on anyone. Consider the child support a bonus and do not count on it. Once my daughter realized the child support was a bonus she was a lot happier and stopped depending on it and was able to adjust her lifestyle accordingly.
Before you get involved with someone who has kids already think of the consequense of having a child by them, thier children legally will come first until at least they are eighteen and often until after college.
Last edited by alexander59; 12-26-2006 at 11:18 AM..
Reason: Add on
I had to rant! My ex husband owes me FORTY THOUSAND DOLLARS!!! And the state he's in (Michigan) is doing nothing! He has found that if he applies for Social Security Disabilty (and then works under the table) the state will not do anything to him when he doesn't pay. Then there's my husband who has always paid, even before we got it registered through the state (to protect us and prove he pays) and has been paying faithfully for years, and even pays half of all medical bills, and has always tried to do the right and honorable thing. Then the company he works for, shuts down with no warning, he can't find a job, so we are living on $158 a week (family of 8) and so he's missed a couple payments and now the cops are literally at our door every other week because we can't pay. He's not even behind ONE thousand dollars. We know he has the obligation to pay, he WANTS to pay, but yet we now have to hire an attorney because we have a court date (two days before Christmas) and Child Support Enforcement says if he's not paid up when we get to court, he'll go to jail until he pays.
I just don't get it! I've told them, get the money from my ex and give it to DH's ex. We aren't making it as it is, on the verge of eviction, car payments late, I don't even want to think about Christmas and they are threatening to throw him in jail and not the ex. Just doesn't make sense!
(Thanks for letting me vent)
I feel for you. My husband is currently serving "time" for getting behind in his child support for 2 children from his first marriage. He was let go from what we thought was a permanent job and he had trouble finding another one, so he got behind, but was sending what we could come up with out of my paycheck after bills. After missing 3 "full" payments, his ex called the child support enforcement and complained, next thing we know my hubby is in jail for not paying child support. All they would tell us is because he had not been making regular payments, a warrant was issued when his ex complained. No warning at all. He was picked up in May of this year and is still there. We have no clue when he is coming home. Meanwhile I have been raising our children by myself on what little I make. It has been hard because I just had our 2nd child together in July. He missed the birth, her 1st Christmas. She is 5 months old and he has never held her. His ex is complaining how she is not getting any money, well duh you called and complained, you were the one that help put him there. She thinks she will be able to get all the back child support once we file our income tax, but I am one step ahead of her. Instead of filing jointly we are filing seperately because frankly I don't think she deserves my hard earned money. (hubby's idea because he feels the same way) She screwed herself by complaining instead of working with us to get him caught up.
I am here searching for answers. I have been trying to get my ex-husband (EH) to pay child support for about 17 months ($550 mo for three teenagers) now. I live in one state and he lives in another (FL). The child support enforcement office in my state seems to do absolutely nothing (as well as FL). In the mean time my EH has filed a motion to modify child support and motion to enforce child visitation. The strange thing is I have had to hire an attorney to defend myself even though I have not denied visitation. It is now another six months and no child support, no modification, but the motion for enforcing visitation has now been dropped. In fact, my EH is now claiming that his employer will lay him off in March 1, 07 because he is not allowed to work any longer and collect disability (Met Life short term disability) at the same time.
This is not the first time he has been on disability. It only seems to happen when he got charged with a felony or is being forced to pay. You would think that a CPA/Financial Advisor for a major investment firm would want to do the right thing (or be responsible).
I would not be so frustrated but it has been very difficult raising four kids with out any support. Does anyone have any helpful hits or words of wisdom regarding the state of FL or non-custodial parents claiming disability?
Anyway, as we downed our drinks and empathized with Dave, we came up with scenarios of how we could take her out and end the issue I was for ringing the doorbell and just popping her off, the other guys wanted far more intricate eradication plans starting with disabling her by breaking her knee-caps, etc. Divorced men sitting around with liquor discussing a vicious ex are not an empathetic group!!!! Fortunately Dave, for all he despises his ex, is content to let the courts do their thing.
AHHHH, divorced men are not the only ones who do that sort of thinking!
Of course, there are those of us (fathers) that have our kids 50% of the time, always pay on time, and have ex wives that don't work, and live off of the support they get from their ex ($1865 a month)
I was smart enough to have certain stipulations in my divorce decree though. Things like an ending date on spousal support, which there isn't one in Ca. on long term marriages (over 10 years), and the ability to modify support, based on job loss, or disability. I only have 2 more years of spousal to pay
And always, always pay support with a check, and never cash, for obvious reasons.
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ok try this one
he has actually told me that he is going to go on Workmens comp for a back injury and call CSE to ask if they will hold his payments so that he can pay for his car...
I was for ringing the doorbell and just popping her off, the other guys wanted far more intricate eradication plans starting with disabling her by breaking her knee-caps, etc. 
