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You are conveniently ignoring the main point of my posts.
Which is: Babies Need Their Moms.
Keep pretending that fact doesn't exist. Keep pretending I am writing what you want me to write -- please copy and paste where I said kids are gone till they are 18. I never said that.
I said TWO YEARS. For the CHILD'S SAKE.
You have made it very clear that you believe work is more important than caring for an infant. Loud and Clear. We GET IT. If you can't offer another opinion other than work, work, work, justify, rationalize, excuse ...
Or acknowledge the importance of the most natural bond in the universe and the best way to support that for the SAKE OF BABY ...
really? I guess so.
Quote:
Originally Posted by newtovenice
And after you have raised your children you make other choices. Where did I say after children are grown you are shackled to the house by yourself?
Nursery for 2 hours once a week for kids old enough to talk is VERY different than dumping an 8 week old infant into 50-hours a week daycare so both parents can choose to work. VBS for 4 hours a day for one week for school-age children is also not the same thing, especially since parents usually help out.
There is no comparison between full time daycare and these examples.
I don't know why women have become so brainwashed that they truly, truly believe being a FT mom to an INFANT is so worthless and pointless, and that as moms they are easily replaceable by that chain daycare in the same plaza as the Taco Bell.
Why not just hand over the baby to CPS after you give birth so you can get back to work ASAP? I don't get it. And it's pointless to discuss it because the brainwashing is rampant.
Do women take time off work to go to grad school? Yes. Why can't they take time off work to CARE FOR THEIR INFANTS?
Quote:
Staying home while kids are young is the point. EVERYONE can afford it. They can. They are choosing not to, emphasizing shortterm material gain (up till kindergarten) instead of caring for their own children
So which is it...two? Done raising your kids? (Which most people set at 18/graduated HS) Kindergarten?
For someone with such strong feelings, you're pretty loosy-goosey on when it's ok for women to work.
My own experience was it was more imperative for me to be more flexible when my kids were in school. I was able to do that because I worked FT when they were infants (during which time I was the higher earner and the one with benefits - and my kids have zero recollection of that time btw). Now, as retirement age nears and I am paying more attention to our retirement accounts, I know for a fact I did the right thing by my family by returning to work. YMMV.
Last edited by maciesmom; 06-07-2017 at 12:26 PM..
A SAHM in my town killed herself and her 2 kids a few months back.
Well at least she had the good sense to stay home with them instead of selfishly leaving them with others while she did things like get mental health care!
A friend of mine put her infant into daycare, and the daycare worker smashed my friend's 8 month old baby's head, which killed him.
I found this out very recently (last month), although we have been friends for about a year, and this happened many years ago. I knew she had had another child because she mentioned him, but I wasn't aware of the circumstances, and generally don't pry because death of a child is something people tell you only if they want you to know. You don't go asking about it. And I cannot imagine her pain. I just can't. That's the kind that doesn't go away.
There are always extreme examples. Of everything. Including women who marry abusive men (lots of social workers in the family, and most women understand UPFRONT the man is abusive before they choose to start families with them.)
A SAHM in my town killed herself and her 2 kids a few months back.
And let's not forget bat**** crazy SAHM Andrea Pia Yates.
If we're gonna compare physical safety at home via daycares, the daycares always win. Many, many more children are injured or killed by their parents than while in daycare, both accidentally and purposefully.
I did not make fun of caring for an infant. I simply stated that working full time on a grad degree doesn't take the person out of their industry. They're still submerged in it. Many grad programs have internships so you're still building relationships. You're still networking as well. Who are you networking with if you're home with a baby all day?[/quote]
Your baby.
Isn't it as important as the guy in the Starbucks line who you saw once in your office that you just have to talk with?
Who is more important?
How do you network with a baby?
What on earth does Starbucks have to do with anything?
Who is more important varies from person to person. Some people feel their children are the most important person in their life. For others, they themselves are the most important person in their life. For others, it's the spouse/partner. Many women need to be able to provide for their children. They simply cannot rely on the father whether or not they're married. There have been numerous posts on here about women who have suffered through a divorce, abuse, etc. There are also women who want their career. Many of them worked incredibly hard to get where they are and don't want to give it up. No one asks a man to give up being VP of XYZ company so why should a woman?
And I would argue that you are making things beyond over complicated. A baby is not a thing. It doesn't asked to be dumped into daycare at 8 weeks old with strangers, none of whom have the voice and heartbeat and scent of its mom that it seeks for comfort and bonding. It can't understand why its mom is now gone for 10 hours every day.
The one fact that people conveniently and overwhelmingly ignore is that a baby needs its mom. And to the baby, the mom is THE most important comfort in its entire universe. And that should be enough of a reason to stay home for at least two years and be the caregiver to your own infant. Not forever. Not never work again. Not OMG I have to work at McD's for the rest of my life because the two years I took off --wasted-- (sob, GASP) has my career so completely derailed that I am completely unhireable for the rest of my life.
All the reasoning in the world cannot REMOVE that basic and universal natural law of the baby/mother bond.
It would be nice if women could at LEAST ACKNOWLEDGE IT. Instead of justify, justify, rationalize, excuse, excuse it away.
Just sayin. Truth.
So what happens to babies whose mother dies in child birth or shortly thereafter? Do they shrivel up and disappear? Nope. Many end up with relatives or in daycare. They survive without the mother.
If YOU want to stay home for 2 years, that's great. Good luck and I hope that happens for you. That's just not realistic for many folks. They need to live their lives the way that works best for them and their situation. You don't know everyone or their situation.
How? Because the only thing these people are providing is nicer cars, pools, and fancy decks.
People can afford what they want to do. If they want to have a parent stay home with a child, they make it work.
But of course- not at the expense of the trip to Tahoe
None of this is necessarily true. Many families need both parents to work just to put a modest roof over their head, drive old cars, don't have a pool, don't have a deck, etc.
Many families simply cannot make it it work on one salary. Who said anything about going to Tahoe?
Unless you are their accountant, OP, how do you know that everything is as you think it is? As millennials, they are extremely lucky to have no debt and well paying jobs while owning a house and car(s). Is this a real life couple or are you just giving an example because you ( and some others in this thread) are convinced that when a woman gives birth, she is supposed to give up everything and stay at home to take care of the baby 24/7?
It's great if a woman can stay home with the child if she wants to and circumstances permit. It's also great if she wants to work part time, full time or any combination if that is what works for her family. Just because being a SAHM works for you doesn't mean that it will work for everyone. When you become a parent, there is always someone telling you that you are doing something wrong that will impact your child in a negative way. Each women has to decide what works best for her family.
And why are we letting fathers off the hook- are they only needed to provide sperm and money so that the mothers can stay at home? Don't the fathers need to bond to their children as well? Maybe neither parent should work for a while after their child is born.
I'm not really sure where to post this, this is a very directed question. This question has been pondering my mind for awhile and just would like a view from the other side
Background
Father and mother are millennials and just had a newborn baby child.
Both have 0 debt - pay everything off every month in full easily
They live a modest life - decent house ($300k), normal cars (low end Toyota/Honda/Ford/etc), no luxury goods, just a mellow normal life with no high expense taste
Only high expense is they love traveling and do it often, but that will probably change with a child
Father brings in $120-$150k year while mother brings in $50-$70k
Healthy savings
This new child is supposedly "everything" to them (you know how new parents are). Now my question is why doesn't the mother just take time off and take care of the baby full time for an extended time? I'm not saying retire, but esp when the baby is young and needs nurturing and attention, why not take an extended leave? Mother doesn't need to work per se (based on facts above). Reason I ask is because I see millienials these days are so focused on finding babysitters and getting straight back to work. It's great you have motivation and work ethics, but again you don't "need" to. Obviously your newborn child is not everything if you choose work over him/her
What someone else does is none of your business unless it is harming you.
And let's not forget bat**** crazy SAHM Andrea Pia Yates.
If we're gonna compare physical safety at home via daycares, the daycares always win. Many, many more children are injured or killed by their parents than while in daycare, both accidentally and purposefully.
This is by far one of the best comments I've seen on the Internet lol. Yes, putting your baby who just came out of your womb 6 weeks before in the care of a complete stranger is 100% safer then their own mother caring for them A stranger will know my babies needs better then me. Yup! Only in today's warped society..
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