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As a millennial working mom I do it because I enjoy it. My husband makes enough money but I choose to work. This is not 1950. Women can work for fulfillment. That doesn't mean we don't love our kids. Raise your family the way you choose and don't worry about how others raise theirs.
And why would traveling stop because they have a child? That's one motivator in my work. It affords us the ability to travel more. Our kids love to travel.
This. she probably enjoys the satisfaction of working and has invested her time and efforts. It's not always about money. Women deserve the fulfillment that enployment can provide.
Because they value money and saying they have a "career." It means more to them socially, culturally, and emotionally. If it didn't, they would stay home and care for their own infant.
For example, people take time off their career to go to grad school. Why? There is a perceived monetary value to going to grad school, and taking time off your "career" to do so is considered a worthy and smart way to get your degree.
There is no perceived monetary value attached to being the actual caregiver to your own child, so taking "time off" to actually raise your child? Most people refuse to do so. It all comes down to MONEY. Every response you get will highlight MONEY (salary, future job, retraining, seniority, 401K, retirement, what if they get divorced? the mom must have money). Did I miss any? All money, money, money.
Very, very sad.
Money makes every aspect of life easier and less stressful. And, yes, you did miss the part about mom feeling fulfilled. A lot of people don't seem to care about women or their happiness. I personally think it's pretty important.
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"I don't understand. But I don't care, so it works out."
(set 6 days ago)
35,626 posts, read 17,961,729 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kibbiekat
Money makes every aspect of life easier and less stressful. And, yes, you did miss the part about mom feeling fulfilled. A lot of people don't seem to care about women or their happiness. I personally think it's pretty important.
Kibbie, I certainly never said "I don't care about women or their happiness". I said like many things, this is a choice.
I'm always a little surprised when people fight you over that statement. Some women HAVE to work to survive, for others it's a choice.
I don't know how to comprehend the reaction that it's not a choice in those cases, or that means I don't care about women's happiness.
Some women are actually happier spending the majority of their time in the company of their small children, some women are happier spending the majority of their time working toward a solid and reliable career ladder and earning luxury spending money.
Do you disagree with that? It's a choice, it's a personality.
BTW - I've never heard a woman facing her old age and death saying man I sure wish I had more spending money, and spent less time with my children. Ever.
Kibbie, I certainly never said "I don't care about women or their happiness". I said like many things, this is a choice.
I'm always a little surprised when people fight you over that statement. Some women HAVE to work to survive, for others it's a choice.
I don't know how to comprehend the reaction that it's not a choice in those cases, or that means I don't care about women's happiness.
Some women are actually happier spending the majority of their time in the company of their small children, some women are happier spending the majority of their time working toward a solid and reliable career ladder and earning luxury spending money.
Do you disagree with that? It's a choice, it's a personality.
BTW - I've never heard a woman facing her old age and death saying man I sure wish I had more spending money, and spent less time with my children. Ever.
I wasn't talking to you specifically, but if the shoe fits.
I'm not really sure where to post this, this is a very directed question. This question has been pondering my mind for awhile and just would like a view from the other side
Background[LIST][*]Father and mother are millennials and just had a newborn baby child. [*]Both have 0 debt - pay everything off every month in full easily[*]They live a modest life - decent house ($300k), normal cars (low end Toyota/Honda/Ford/etc), no luxury goods, just a mellow normal life with no high expense taste[*]Only high expense is they love traveling and do it often, but that will probably change with a child[*]Father brings in $120-$150k year while mother brings in $50-$70k[*]Healthy savings[/LIST]This new child is supposedly "everything" to them (you know how new parents are). Now my question is why doesn't the mother just take time off and take care of the baby full time for an extended time? I'm not saying retire, but esp when the baby is young and needs nurturing and attention, why not take an extended leave? Mother doesn't need to work per se (based on facts above). Reason I ask is because I see millienials these days are so focused on finding babysitters and getting straight back to work. It's great you have motivation and work ethics, but again you don't "need" to. Obviously your newborn child is not everything if you choose work over him/her
Probably for the some of the same reasons why my generation (X) did: we payed attention to the world of the adults around us and observed that two-income families are less economically vulnerable than one income families.
Unknown, the simple answer is because they don't want to. That's what it boils down to.
Everyone makes choices in their lives (although some people say I didn't have a choice when what they mean is, this is the choice that I wanted to make and I'm not willing to explore why. As in, I live with my parents because I don't have a choice. I am rehoming my dog because I don't have a choice).
It's the same thing. Couples in the situation you describe do have a choice, but the choice seems overwhelmingly to still go to work so they don't even perceive it as a choice. They are choosing to miss out on a lot of their baby's growth to enjoy monetary luxury, and not get behind in a career.
But it's a choice. I saw a sign in a women's gift shop thing last week, "I was going to be a stay at home mom until I realized the kids would be there too". um hmm.
Something like that.
You prompted me to go back and read your post. You imply that it is a wrong choice. Money vs first steps. As I said above, it isn't always about the money. It is about personal happiness, fulfillment, mental well-being. Some people seem to think it is wrong for mom to find fulfillment outside of the home. Pretty silly and closed minded, really.
Status:
"I don't understand. But I don't care, so it works out."
(set 6 days ago)
35,626 posts, read 17,961,729 times
Reputation: 50650
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kibbiekat
You prompted me to go back and read your post. You imply that it is a wrong choice. Money vs first steps. As I said above, it isn't always about the money. It is about personal happiness, fulfillment, mental well-being. Some people seem to think it is wrong for mom to find fulfillment outside of the home. Pretty silly and closed minded, really.
I'm not necessarily implying it's the wrong choice. I'm stating that women who choose that seem to pretend they didn't, or that the choice to not stay home for the first years is such an obvious choice that it's not really a choice at all.
It's a choice. Everyone has 24 hours in a day, and how you spend them is a choice everyone gets to make (unless they are a child, or are incarcerated, or are bed bound, etc.).
Time is the stuff life is made of. Where you choose to spend yours shows what you value.
Why does anyone work at all? Dads should also stay home instead of worrying about money. The kids will be perfectly happy wearing handmedowns that might or might not fit, living in a crappy subsidized apartment, eating whatever the food pantry might have, and having no opportunities to leave their own neighborhoods as long as mom and dad are watching and cooing over their every move until they move out. Nobody needs money.
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