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Here is the only question to ask yourself: What do you want in your life?
Mind you, there are hazards in staying with your folks. You'll be a dependent of your parents, even if you pay your fair share. You'll be viewed as this semi-adult by friends and acquaintances. It'll never be your house, but theirs. You'll never be able to paint the room the way you want it, come and go as you please, and eat whatever you want. You'll always be answering to someone regardless of how much space their provide you.
But there are the advantages of amassing cash, as long as you have a real deal job. So what you'd be doing is trading autonomy for security.
Back to the salient question. You only get one life. If you want to live it with the folks, knock yourself out. If you want to enjoy your freedom, move out.
I am only replying the bold. To this, I find many millennials don't have a problem with living with their parents OR the stigma of living with their parents. The economy isn't that great especially starting out. Parents can get rent, help food shopping or help with chores (cooking, cleaning, garbage, etc.) It feels weird for when I will likely move out. I don't know what my parents will do in the sense of around the house chores. My father has a bad hip and knee as well as psoriatic-rheumatoid arthritis and my mother has osteoporosis and degenerative discs in her back. I mean they aren't bad but they usually use me as a lifter with things as well as a climber for Thanksgiving...
Depends on the situation but generally I don't think it's a good idea. Everyone should experience living on their own at some point and now is a good time to do that. However there are exceptions where this would be understandable. I know someone who is going through a nasty divorce and has full custody of four kids. They live with her parents because she needs the extra help and they offered.
It's not really normal, but to each his own. I have a cousin, who left home at age 23 (after graduating from college), found a great job. After a few years on his own, he was "laid off" from his job, moved back home with his mother. He is now aged 52, and never married, found another job or moved back out.
There's a something strange about the relationship, it's a "Mommy Boy" situation where the mother is overprotective of him.
Well that's the thing with these situations. A large majority of the jobs in this country pay around 30K before taxes and benefits are subtracted and that includes in the northeast like Philly,New York, Boston.
Now rent for a single apartment or home in a decent area will run you $1,000.00 give or take a hundred or two. You may be clearing $1,600 to $1,700 a month or so? So unless you can find a good roommate you can trust you're between your parents home and a street place.
So basically unless you can save for retirement, a savings fund, pay any student loans you may have, car insurance, car repairs or car payment or all 3 of those, plus food, phone bill and possibly electricity and or water depending on the terms of the rent etc... on the 6 or 7 hundred you have left over after paying for shelter you're kind of stuck.
Basically it comes down to simple math. If you can't afford to live on your own then you can't afford it.
At 30 I think it's time to grow up and become an adult. Personally I think this should be done well before 30, but most people in their 30's have finished college, have a career, married and starting a family. Even if your parents are not asking for rent (which they should) why would you want to live at home at 30?? Personally as a woman I would not date a man who still lived at home at 30. Makes me think if he can't take care of himself how could he take care of a family?
If you're a woman... (as one who has 2 daughters) I would like them to be capable enough to have a career and be able to take care of themselves so that they don't have to rely on anyone for support. Living with me till 30 doesn't teach my children how to be adults, it only enables them to never grow up. And no, I'm not kicking my kids out before they are ready, but I will teach them how to be responsible adults.
That is a lot of assumptions you are making there. Just because someone is living at home does not mean they are not an adult they could have a job, help out around the house. Why would someone want to live at home maybe they enjoy living with family, they want to save money up. Seems a lot of people who are against people living at home are jealous because either they do not have a good relationship with their family or they wish they were able to enjoy the benefits of living at home.
Do I think it's okay? No. But it doesn't matter what I or anyone else here thinks, what matters is what YOU think! You've said you'd rather be living on your own, so that's what you should do.
I do think it's slightly more (very slightly) culturally acceptable if you're female, than if you're male. But unless you are of a culture or religion, where the norm is to stay in your parents house at that age, sorry, I find it weird. I'm not saying people can't do it & I understand it can be beneficial to both, but I still find it odd & I think it can really stunt growth & independence.
I'm of the generation where we COULDN'T WAIT to get out from under our parents. I left at 16ish, most of my friends left at 18, I simply don't understand this current culture of staying through & after college. At 30, you're supposed to be living your own life, starting or getting close to starting your own family (whatever that family may look like), if you're female & you want to have kids, I can't even imagine it.
I do know of a couple of situations like this & I find them sad. I know of a 3 generations of women living together, the young ones are around 40 & still aren't thinking about getting married (despite being het females) & they've pretty much lost all opportunities to be moms if they want. The other situation is in a really rural middle of nowhere place & the mother wants all her adult kids to live with her, so they can take care of the property & do chores. The "kids" are in their 30's & now have their own families, but she still wants them back with her. They actually have all moved out, but she'd have them back in a second.
In both cases, IMO the parents are being selfish, they want the kids there to take care of them, when they s/b living their own lives. I'm sure there are situations where it can work & be mutually beneficial, but I don't think it matters in this case, since OP has expressed their desire.
OP, if you are of a culture or religion where it's the standard practice, you may have to work harder to get out, but you shouldn't stay b/c your parents want you to, if you don't want to. It's your life you're throwing away, you are the one missing out on all the rites of passage to adulthood, b/c you're already in middle adulthood & haven't experienced them.
I would love to have a 30 year old living with me to do chores and such. Where do you live??
Are you kidding? My two adult kids wouldn't help out at all. They stayed in their rooms and played video games and only came out to pee and bring whatever food they could scrounge up and take to their rooms. Had a family meeting to say they are adults, need to take turns cooking dinners, and save their money, or take more college courses to get ahead. They didn't take advantage of that, so had them move out at age 26 and 28.
I'm of the generation where we COULDN'T WAIT to get out from under our parents. I left at 16ish, most of my friends left at 18, I simply don't understand this current culture of staying through & after college. At 30, you're supposed to be living your own life, starting or getting close to starting your own family (whatever that family may look like), if you're female & you want to have kids, I can't even imagine it.
+1. It's always been tough starting (financially speaking); I know the younger crowd likes to think we all just stepped our school and into a good job and a starter home, but it wasn't like that at all. The only difference is we expected to hustle and struggle, work two jobs, drive old bomb cars, and live off of ramen noodles, etc. I remember making $20k/year (which was about average for a stater job in the late 90s), I couldn't afford a 1 bedroom apartment but didn't want a roommate, so I lived in a cruddy little studio for a few years until I could afford better.
I do want to be on my own I love my parents but they are overprotective. I know it's because I am the only child but it's overwhelming. I like to travel but they don't want me travelling on my own. I understand that bad things happen but women travel alone everyday. I wouldn't mind staying with them if they didn't give me a hard time. I don't even know how I'll be able to get an apartment having no credit history. I do have a credit card but I haven't had it for that long though.
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