Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Basically everyone I know, she knows. If I do anything on Facebook, word will get out. I get some of her concerns about it, but I'm not stupid and think I know what is and isn't smart to share online.
She accepts other people being on Facebook. Go for it.
Sorry I haven't responded before now. To answer everyone's questions, I do amazingly have my license (thanks dad!), and I have a vehicle (it was my dad's car, but he got something else, and he just acts like his old car is mine since I am doing basically all of the maintenance on it now). I am in community college, but unfortunately getting a job on campus is not really an option as I take my classes online (it's a long story). I'm not into smoking pot, drinking, or any of that (although I don't have a problem with people who want to do those things so long as they're not disturbing me).
@CraigCreek - Hi, yes that is correct. I do take a few day trips to the beach or mountains each year, however those are always with the rest of my family. My parents pay for gas and insurance for the time being (although once I get a job, I would prefer to take over those responsibilities).
I found out about the Contra dances through some homeschool graduates that I know, so I've gone a few times and met them there. My parents don't have a problem with it because, at least here, the dances are only a couple hours long and not very far away, so I'm only out of the house for a few hours. I'm pretty good at the basic dances and am trying to learn how to lead spins better than I do now, but that's the most advanced I have gotten. Unfortunately the Contra group here doesn't seem to go out anywhere afterwords.
And I might not have been clear in my original post, I do have an email account (which is how I made my account on here) but by the time I was allowed to make said account, everyone had moved on to Facebook and text. I am online a lot because I'm taking several classes this summer and have frequent deadlines.
Anyway, thanks for all of your responses so far, C-D community. I'm glad I can at least find some advice through forums like this, because I don't feel like I know anyone well enough in person anymore to talk with them about it.
Nicholas
you sound like nice person. The parents have sheltered u all ur life. you need to make the move and find a job ft and move out. U can't control the parents only yourself. If they paying the insurance and gas on the car they are in control. u got take that control away then u can legally be independant. but first u got to show them u are independent or otherwise u will always just get everything handed to you, like rite now.
I did finally get a job about eight months ago. A lot of stuff beyond the scope of this thread happened in the months prior, which is why it took longer than I hoped, but I've got a job and a phone (finally). I'm saving like mad to move out once I can find somewhere affordable/find a roommate. Now that I've been working for a little while I honestly don't know how I even existed without a job.
I did finally get a job about eight months ago. A lot of stuff beyond the scope of this thread happened in the months prior, which is why it took longer than I hoped, but I've got a job and a phone (finally). I'm saving like mad to move out once I can find somewhere affordable/find a roommate. Now that I've been working for a little while I honestly don't know how I even existed without a job.
I did finally get a job about eight months ago. A lot of stuff beyond the scope of this thread happened in the months prior, which is why it took longer than I hoped, but I've got a job and a phone (finally). I'm saving like mad to move out once I can find somewhere affordable/find a roommate. Now that I've been working for a little while I honestly don't know how I even existed without a job.
OP: This is verging on child abuse - parents keeping a young adult in their twenties from branching out and creating their own life. I honestly don't even know how or why this is possible. Why didn't you rebel? What is keeping you home and under the wing of your mom?
The "fix" is to get a part-time job and start living your own life.
I never noticed my parents doing anything majorly different than other homeschoolers I knew, but then again I didn't get a lot of opportunity to talk with other kids my age.
I think it might depend on the tendencies of everyone involved. Psychologically, I feel naturally assertive, but at the same time I feel very sensitive, so I think my sensitivity generally overrules my assertiveness (i.e. I can't seem to be very assertive if I think someone else can't handle my assertiveness).My mom is so sensitive and emotional that I find it hard to be assertive with her. I guess it's the way that we're wired.
This can be a primary reason that your natural assertiveness is stifled. It is ok to be assertive. There is a big difference in being assertive and in being aggressive. Do not let your mother's inability to handle normal assertiveness handicap you as you mature and begin to assert your independence....Asserting your own wants, needs and independence is normal and a natural part of maturing and separating from your parents. Perhaps look up ways to assert yourself and practice positive tactics. It could help you all the rest of your life to be a good communicator and negotiator, as most times life is all about negotiation.
It has a name, Separation and Individuation and normally takes place at the beginning of adolescence.....For you perhaps some later due to lack of outside life experiences....But, it is normal, and natural. A needy parent might try to make you feel guilty for these natural growth emotions....Do not let them guilt you into remission.
There were several links, including the definition, the phases etc when I typed Separation Individuation into my browser....Please check out the many links....Below is just one. I haven't reread the whole thread, I just came in response to a rep for my post a couple of years ago. I'll try to read and catch up.
Good luck....Hope all is better
I did finally get a job about eight months ago. A lot of stuff beyond the scope of this thread happened in the months prior, which is why it took longer than I hoped, but I've got a job and a phone (finally). I'm saving like mad to move out once I can find somewhere affordable/find a roommate. Now that I've been working for a little while I honestly don't know how I even existed without a job.
Wonderful. Life is experiential....and living it is the only way to get that experience. Armed with basic goodness and a loving upbringing.....You'll do better than alright imo.
And, if you want to reframe a negative….your sheltered upbringing possibly will make you appreciate your independence more than the average 20something.....because you have something to compare it too. And the personal experience you've gained having to get your independence is invaluable going forward.
All knowledge is comparison. So, you my young friend are ahead of the game in many respects. Carry on... Be fearless....and please update again!
I did finally get a job about eight months ago. A lot of stuff beyond the scope of this thread happened in the months prior, which is why it took longer than I hoped, but I've got a job and a phone (finally). I'm saving like mad to move out once I can find somewhere affordable/find a roommate. Now that I've been working for a little while I honestly don't know how I even existed without a job.
Congratulations, OP! I hope the rest of it works out!
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
