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My daughter befriended a little girl who is on her bus, she lives in the development just behind ours. She came over and spent a day with us and then the following week, she came and slept over here in Friday night and then Saturday night spend the night over at her house. It was sort of a celebratory thing since it was my daughters birthday.
I think the girl seems very nice but her parents are strange. Her Mother asked my 10 year old if there was a man in my life because she was worried about pedophiles. WOW, I can understand thinking that but asking a child about it is going a little far. I personally would have asked the adult in charge not a child. I remember talking to the step Father and he seemed uncomfortable, like he wasn't used to being social.
I had time to speak to both parents and at first glance the STEP Father seemed nice enough. Then my daughter came home from the sleep over. I am thankful she felt she could confide in me.
She tells me that twice when she was there, the step father called the little girl into the master bedroom to scream at her and threaten her. Apparently on a previous occasion, he picked her up by her hair and he threatened to do this again. WAIT FOR IT, because she said the word hell. The second time was because she got her Mothers keys and went out to the car to retrieve her ipod without asking. Keeping in mind that it was daytime when she went out there.
Even though my daughter was in the little girls room,she could still hear the screaming going on and the little girl was crying when she came back both times. She confided in my daughter, begging her not to tell anyone for fear what this man would do to her if he knew. She says she is affraid of him and dreads to see him. She was glad he was going away for business this week while the Mother was upset he was leaving. Apparently the Mother is aware of his behavior and stands by while he does these kinds of things.
My daughter says when she went to get a drink from the fridge, she saw several bottles of either wine or liqour. Of course this particular part might have nothing to do with the whole thing but I am worried about this little girl.
I have told my daughter that she can't go over there anymore or sleep over, I am concerned about her being around this man and I just know that if he looses it with my daughter, there are going to be some consequences he won't care for, I will be all up in his business like he has never seen. I get the feeling he is the kind of man who likes his women quiet and compliant. BOY will I be a shock for him.
I have asked my daughter to keep her ears open should she say more and tell me. I also have asked her to find out what her last name is, its not the same as the Mother's since she remarried. Apparently her Father lives in Longwood.
Lets say that things are as bad as it sounds, its not an exaggeration on the part of the children. The only thing I can think that might help this child is to speak with the Father. I just don't want to do anything that would make her life worse.
I have also told my daughter that her friend can come over here anytime, I would like to think she can come here and have a little peace.
For example, when my daughter has a sleep over and there is no school the next day, I allow them to stay up as long as they want to. I do ask that they be quiet enough for me to go to sleep however. The Mother told me that they require that she remain in her room and not make any noise. I can understand this but I am getting a feeling this man is a tyrant and very touchy about the noise kids make and so forth.
Meanwhile my daughter is very upset for her friend and can't stop thinking and worrying about it.
Here he marries a woman who has two children, he has never had children, that has to be a big adjustment. He also works from home.
I don't know, what do you guys think of this whole thing?
In my honest opinion you need to report this and soon. I would rather take the chance that it be nothing than not do anything and have something bad happy and know that I could have maybe prevented it. Father or step father, he has no right to threaten to harm her in any way for any reason or to actually abuse her by picking her up by the hair. I would have been calling the Police o file a report as soon as my child told me of the problem
My daughter befriended a little girl who is on her bus, she lives in the development just behind ours. She came over and spent a day with us and then the following week, she came and slept over here in Friday night and then Saturday night spend the night over at her house. It was sort of a celebratory thing since it was my daughters birthday.
I think the girl seems very nice but her parents are strange. Her Mother asked my 10 year old if there was a man in my life because she was worried about pedophiles. WOW, I can understand thinking that but asking a child about it is going a little far. I personally would have asked the adult in charge not a child. I remember talking to the step Father and he seemed uncomfortable, like he wasn't used to being social.
I had time to speak to both parents and at first glance the STEP Father seemed nice enough. Then my daughter came home from the sleep over. I am thankful she felt she could confide in me.
She tells me that twice when she was there, the step father called the little girl into the master bedroom to scream at her and threaten her. Apparently on a previous occasion, he picked her up by her hair and he threatened to do this again. WAIT FOR IT, because she said the word hell. The second time was because she got her Mothers keys and went out to the car to retrieve her ipod without asking. Keeping in mind that it was daytime when she went out there.
Even though my daughter was in the little girls room,she could still hear the screaming going on and the little girl was crying when she came back both times. She confided in my daughter, begging her not to tell anyone for fear what this man would do to her if he knew. She says she is affraid of him and dreads to see him. She was glad he was going away for business this week while the Mother was upset he was leaving. Apparently the Mother is aware of his behavior and stands by while he does these kinds of things.
My daughter says when she went to get a drink from the fridge, she saw several bottles of either wine or liqour. Of course this particular part might have nothing to do with the whole thing but I am worried about this little girl.
I have told my daughter that she can't go over there anymore or sleep over, I am concerned about her being around this man and I just know that if he looses it with my daughter, there are going to be some consequences he won't care for, I will be all up in his business like he has never seen. I get the feeling he is the kind of man who likes his women quiet and compliant. BOY will I be a shock for him.
I have asked my daughter to keep her ears open should she say more and tell me. I also have asked her to find out what her last name is, its not the same as the Mother's since she remarried. Apparently her Father lives in Longwood.
Lets say that things are as bad as it sounds, its not an exaggeration on the part of the children. The only thing I can think that might help this child is to speak with the Father. I just don't want to do anything that would make her life worse.
I have also told my daughter that her friend can come over here anytime, I would like to think she can come here and have a little peace.
For example, when my daughter has a sleep over and there is no school the next day, I allow them to stay up as long as they want to. I do ask that they be quiet enough for me to go to sleep however. The Mother told me that they require that she remain in her room and not make any noise. I can understand this but I am getting a feeling this man is a tyrant and very touchy about the noise kids make and so forth.
Meanwhile my daughter is very upset for her friend and can't stop thinking and worrying about it.
Here he marries a woman who has two children, he has never had children, that has to be a big adjustment. He also works from home.
I don't know, what do you guys think of this whole thing?
I can say that your first issue, about a man in your life, etc.? That happened to me once, except, this little girls parents told my daughter that their child could not spend the night because her (my daughter) uncle lived in the same house and they were worried he liked littel girls because he's a man....WHAT??? Either way I talked them and they wouldn't budge, we let that friend go.
As far as the problems your daughter's friend is having, it breaks my heart. I would however not allow your child to go stay the night at her house anymore, it sounds like a scary situation. I applaud you for saying that she can come over anytime.
Have you thought to talk to the mother first or do you think that would be pointless? If so, I say you should probably tell the Father. If the SF is pulling her by her hair that's abuse and she shouldn't be subjected to that and neither should your daughter.
I wish you the best with this, at least that little girl found a good family to help her.
What Lunacy, what man in their right mind to treat a little girl this way? that is torture. If i were the father of this child, i'd certainly want to know. And yup ill also tell the authorities. Kudos to you, you could just be this childs guardian angel.
For starters, I absolutely agree that your daughter shouldn't be allowed over to their house - sounds pretty unstable to me.
As for reporting the situation, that's a tough one, remember you have to live there. I'm not saying to turn a blind eye, I just might see how things go for a while before calling the authorities.
For starters, I absolutely agree that your daughter shouldn't be allowed over to their house - sounds pretty unstable to me.
As for reporting the situation, that's a tough one, remember you have to live there. I'm not saying to turn a blind eye, I just might see how things go for a while before calling the authorities.
The only problem with this is what if you wait too long?
How close are you to your DD's teacher at school? Is this girl in her class? If you feel comfortable talking to the teacher about this it might be good to express your views that way. The teachers might feel that there is something going on and with your suspicions that might help them confirm things?
Just from your comments here I think you have a very good case to report this man to child protective services. If he is acting like that when other people are around, what is he like when they are alone???
This is a very difficult situation. I don't envy you. The knee-jerk reaction is to call the authorities. Honestly, this may not be the best idea.
My parents were very abusive, both physically and emotionally. When I was in 8th grade I showed up to school with a busted lip and bruised ribs. Of course the school was required to report this to social services. I was pulled into the counselor's office and required to explain what happened. I knew I wanted my parents to stop, but I didn't want to leave the house and my two younger sisters behind. Well, as I'm getting home after school, the social worker shows up. My father proceeds to curse this woman out and threaten to get his gun if she didn't leave because there was no way in hell she was taking me. That was all that happened. No follow-up or anything. Honestly, this was the worst thing for me. For months after that I was hounded and harassed by my parents. How dare I try to ruin the family!
Sorry for getting so personal, but there are two sides to the story. Talk to the girl. Ask about her real dad and if he knows the situation. Are there other options? Can you talk to social services and make sure this family gets counseling instead of just removing the kid?
Again, this is a tough situation. You're a very caring person for wanting to help. Just think about all angles before you act.
REPORT THIS NOW!! BE SAFE, DONT BE AN ENABLER..There is no sense in hiding the fact that there is something wrong. How would you feel if something happened to this girl? Or if she didn't show up to school? Don't let it reach that point..To sit back and ignore it is plain wrong. There is nothing wrong with reporting this. That does not mean the child will be removed from her home and taken from her family, it simply means that it will be investigated further to see what the details are. This would hopefully open the eyes of the mother also. Any parent may be offended, but a reasonable parent may even understand depending on what the circumstances are. What kind of man does this to a 10 year old, especially with a friend over? Playing quietly in her room? Sounds like this man needs his woman under tight lock and key. Who knows what goes on when friends aren't over if this is what he does when there are visitors. Another suggestion, call the school where the child attends and voice your concern to the Head. It's possible that this poor little girl is going through some serious emotional distress that could be reflected in her academics or social behavior. You don't need to hear input, but give input as a concerned parent, you may not even need to give your name.The head can then investigate the matter with teachers to see if there may be some issues. This way, you can let someone else know, this girl needs all the protection she can get (from what you tell me, as it seems it COULD be an isolated incident but I wouldn't want to take that chance)
My thoughts and prayers are with you, and this dear little girl. I hope you make the right choice.
My concern is that if I call DCF they won't do anything but make the situation worse.
I am thankful for all the input you guys have given. I can't stand by and let this go on but I am not sure which step to take.
I think the suggestion of speaking to her teacher is a good one. She isn't in the same class as my daughter but I should be able to find out which one and talk to the teacher or the principle.
She is also coming over here tomorrow so maybe I will have a chance to talk with her and find out her last name and get enough info about her Father. I am just worried that whatever I do will make things come down on her harder. If her Mother is going to stand by and do nothing, if he finds out she said something he is going to go through the roof.
I am just glad he is gone this week.
She was so quiet when she first came here and then slowly opened up.
Her Mother even said to me that she is normally a loner, well no wonder considering how this man treats her.
She told my daughter this information in confidence but I am thinking I should try and talk with her to find out what is happening and suggest to her that maybe it might be a good idea to speak with her real Father. Its totally posible he is as worthless as the Mother.
The other thing is I know DCF isn't going to remove her just for what has been related.
I don't understand how a Mother can be so desperate for a man in her life that she turns her back on her childrens needs and safety. I just don't get it. How can your first loyalty NOT be to your own children?
This woman runs her own business, its not like she is dependent on him. I want to slap her honestly.
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