Welcome to City-Data.com Forum!
U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
 
Old 06-26-2017, 08:45 AM
 
Location: Baton Rouge, LA
70 posts, read 54,325 times
Reputation: 28

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by ClaraC View Post
Is your daughter in a culture where being very heavy is the norm? Are all her friends heavy too and most of her classmates?

yes for her its the norm and most of her friends are overweight, but not to her level
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 06-26-2017, 08:47 AM
 
8,170 posts, read 6,004,477 times
Reputation: 5963
Quote:
Originally Posted by BayouDweller View Post
ice cream, popcorn, and chips for cheat days.
We do not keep any of this in the house. When we want ice cream, we go to a homemade ice cream place, and the kids order kid size cones. I also get the kid size. We eat it there and do not take extra home.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-26-2017, 08:51 AM
 
35,510 posts, read 17,715,580 times
Reputation: 50483
Quote:
Originally Posted by BayouDweller View Post
yes for her its the norm and most of her friends are overweight, but not to her level
I think that's probably the entire problem. If being heavy is the norm, she has no motivation at all to take the harder path, which is to maintain a healthy weight. While she is in that community, where obesity is acceptable she will probably never change.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-26-2017, 08:53 AM
 
Location: here
24,873 posts, read 36,044,300 times
Reputation: 32726
The best way for unmotivated people to get exercise is to build it into your day. Depending on distance and safety of course, don't drive her to her friend's. Make her walk. Walk to the store. If you have to drive, park far away.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-26-2017, 08:57 AM
 
Location: here
24,873 posts, read 36,044,300 times
Reputation: 32726
You keep saying she thinks is a joke. I don't know what you mean by that, but it seems to be a big worry for you. Call the doctor ahead of time and tell them you want the issue discussed in detail. Diabetes, heart disease, joint issues, etc. Maybe if a professional tells her she'll take it more seriously.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-26-2017, 08:57 AM
 
8,170 posts, read 6,004,477 times
Reputation: 5963
Quote:
Originally Posted by steiconi View Post
I was a fat kid; part of it for me was defiance of my overbearing mother. She didn't want me eating too much, so I snuck around. (why doesn't spellcheck recognize "snuck"? Oh, dear, it's likes "sneaked"--that's awful!)

I'm still fat. I'm seeing a therapist to get to the bottom of my issues.

Perhaps a little therapy would be helpful for the OP's family, too.
Honestly I think this is my daughters issue. I have always been thin, and work very hard to be small and I think my daughter would rather not worry about what she eats or feel like she has to exist on a 1200 calorie diet everyday to fit this size that the world says is healthy. She likes food.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-26-2017, 08:58 AM
 
2,108 posts, read 1,299,781 times
Reputation: 6016
Parenting is the hardest job to do. You feel very tired, frustrating when you tell your children what to do that you think is good for them, but they don't listen and argue back and pick faults on the parents. Sometimes influence from their friends is even greater than from their parents.

About the diet, yes, you really need to be strict with yourself to make good example for your children, and to be very strict with your daughter by cooking the right food for your whole family and don't give her any money at all. No bargain, no incentive. She will see how long her friends can spend their money to buy her junk food. No friends want to hang out with someone who always going out with them and has no money. That's for sure. She can argue with you, be mad with you, having tantrums... whatever, you don't give in. Don't keep cash in your wallet. Put your wallet away in a safe place.

When one is used to eating junk food, it's hard to change her habit. Junk food is usually "tastier" than healthy food because there are more salt and spices in it.

I'm not a dietician; I don't know what guidance on the diet to give you. I'm also not a seller trying to sell some products to loose weight. I am 5'4 and 125 lbs. I don't want to pass 125 lbs, so I have to watch what I eat or take some diet pills. I did some research on Google and found Carcinia Cambogia on Amazon.com or .ca if you live in Canada. The price is affordable. When I take a couple of those pills, I don't feel like to eat much anymore. I noticed that those pills help me to go to the washroom easier. So I think the food I take in breaks down and goes out fast. Thus, it doesn't stay in my body and changes to fat. That's what I think. I don't take these pills everyday or often, just when I feel my tummy expands a bit, and when my weight passes 125 lbs and doesn't go down in a few days. Again, as I said, I'm not a dietician nor a seller trying to advertise anything to you. I just want to tell you my own experience and want to help you and your daughter.

I don't eat much meat, I eat more vegetable and fruits. I exercise often. Sometimes, I do like to eat some french fries, chips, ice cream, popcorn, drink Coke, Pepsi, etc... but not very often. And when I eat more, I feel tight in my pants, my tummy feels very uncomfortable, then I know I have to be strict with myself. I want to be healthy and look good. I believe that's most of us want. What you want, you have to work hard for it.

Good luck with raising and helping your daughter and your son.

Last edited by AnOrdinaryCitizen; 06-26-2017 at 09:06 AM..
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-26-2017, 08:58 AM
 
Location: here
24,873 posts, read 36,044,300 times
Reputation: 32726
Louisiana State Obesity Data, Rates and Trends: The State of Obesity

Judging by your screen name, if this is where you live, you have a lot working against you.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-26-2017, 09:09 AM
 
Location: Europe
4,848 posts, read 3,268,389 times
Reputation: 5904
Over here kids walk or bicycle to school and that ads a lot of activity for burning of calories.
Maybe a weekend sport like swimming laps in a swimming pool or dance classes.
For food portion control kitchen scales, measuring spoons and measuring cups. Measuring portion eyeballing it does not work.
Teen girls ages 14 - 18 need approx 1800 to 2200 calories depends on activity level.
Teens are still growing so they need energy proper nutrition not empty calories.

(I tried to post a video but link does not work allthough I typed it correct is part 1 of 4-part Big meets Bigger in Kuwait 2 young adult british go see even larger people abroad in K Julia .............channel Julia Wright.)
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-26-2017, 09:10 AM
 
14,376 posts, read 18,277,273 times
Reputation: 43042
So your daughter is 200 pounds and you and your husband suddenly decided to change the rules 14 years in and be all healthy. Um, good luck with that.

Probably doesn't help given the part of the country you're in.

Get your daughter to a therapist and talk to one of your own about effective parenting. She has to want to do this. And if she hears about her weight every day from you, it's going to backfire bigtime, and you're going to exacerbate her odds of developing other problems and antisocial behaviors.

You've tried to implement sweeping changes in her life on what seems like a whim after maintaining a certain status quo and YEAH she's gonna buck you. Honestly, I think your best bet may be to just back off, not subsidize her bad habits and model the behavior you expect from her. She's 14, not 5- you missed the window for this to be an easy lift.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:


Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2024, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top