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The way to get action is to put your concerns in writing, addressed to the daycare director. Photo the bites. Take a major bruise to the doctor for exam & documentation. Send the evidence/documentation to the daycare director, and state that you want this to stop. Include a log of past incidents to the extent that you recall them. (Date, location of bite marks.)
Putting concerns in writing, and backing them up with documentation, sends a signal that a paper trail has been initiated. A paper trail is a sign that legal action could follow. They will take you seriously. They would have no choice other than to take you seriously. They wouldn't know if you've hired a lawyer or not, so they would have to respond, and act. That is how it's done.
Exactly! Can't believe some posters here suggesting that "Oh, it will stop. Just leave it." NO WAY!
Well, no bites today. Hopefully it's a new start...
While you're wishing that it will go away and resolve of its own accord, jot down the dates of the last 3 incidents, and the bruising incident, just in case there's a sudden flare-up of the activity, and you're forced to deal with it.
Exactly! Can't believe some posters here suggesting that "Oh, it will stop. Just leave it." NO WAY!
Who are you quoting? Because I couldn't see one post where anyone said it will just stop or to leave it.
All I have seen is people say that it is "normal" for toddlers to bite. It's also normal for them to hit, throw temper tantrums, and pick heir noses. But we teach them not to do those things. Normal does not mean ignore it.
Who are you quoting? Because I couldn't see one post where anyone said it will just stop or to leave it.
All I have seen is people say that it is "normal" for toddlers to bite. It's also normal for them to hit, throw temper tantrums, and pick heir noses. But we teach them not to do those things. Normal does not mean ignore it.
That happened to my son when in his twos at daycare. He was very verbal and told me exactly who it was. It probably happen 3-4 time on his arm. I did complain and they told me they are working with the child who was biting. The last and final time was on his face. At pretty bad one. You could see all the teeth marks. I demanded that I get something I written g from them before we left that day acknowledging this incident and then went straight to urgent care. I was pretty livid but didn't want to pull him out. I told my son the next time he bites you bite him back. He did that twice and was never bitten by that kid again. My son did get a write up on his biting and they spoke to me about it. But it solved his problem, and he stood up for himself a bit.. They had actually spoke to me about him usually giving up toys to others, he would just go get something else a few months before this. Only child so no one e to fight with before.
I know know, bad mom for telling your kid to bite. That was not normal for me.
Biting does happen. Understand that the day care center does not give names so that the parents don't get into fights in the parking lot. I think we can tell from answers on this thread that their concern is well founded.
Disclosures:
1. My wife is employed in early childhood education (day care) and has 10+ years as a director.
2. Before that time, our daughter was bit at daycare.
I have talked to teachers when my daughter was bit and one was a bit upset and said she wished she could tell us who, and I guess it would be because of frustration with the child.
It's possible bites can come out of nowhere, but it also makes sense that something else was going on that escalated. Sometimes kids get into playground equipment and the teachers don't have a direct line of sight.
Quote:
Originally Posted by FalconheadWest
I went thru that with my son, but he was about 18 months when it started. The school did absolutely nothing because the mom worked there in another class. I just kept being told my kid wasn't the only one.
This is horrible advice, so you might not want to do this, but the biting kept happening, so a few months later, probably around 22-23 months, I sat my son down and told him to bite back. I got the puppy dog tilt of the head like "what are you telling me to do?" I told him it's wrong to bite, and I don't want him biting others, but if this kid bites one more time, that he had my permission to bite back. A week later, I got the notice that my son bit the kid after being bit again. I was actually proud of him.
His action stopped the biting for over a year. In the 3's class, it started again. I actually then went up to the mom/teacher and told her she needed to get her kid to stop biting my kid. She acted like she knew nothing about this. He bit again multiple times over the next month or two, and I was done. I took him out. But for a year and a half, the biting did stop.
Again, not condoning the action, but it did stop the biting for a long time.
If it isn't condoning, what should we call it?
Quote:
Originally Posted by nikitakolata
Horrible or not, I'm totally considering this. Since it seems like there's no consequence for the biting, I may as well take matters into my own hands. I know this isn't the best path though.
It really isn't the best path... telling someone to bite a young child. Also think about what happens if your child gets bit but it doesn't leave a definitive mark. In that case it only looks like the original biter got bit.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marlow
Kids do bite, but three times in a week is excessive.
Talk to the director of the school and ask that another aid be put in the room to help keep an eye on the kids. Also tell him/her that if your child comes home with another bite mark you're going to move her and report on social media that the school isn't keeping children safe. But if you're going to make that threat you need to be prepared to follow through with it.
Yeah ... as if these teachers get paid enough to be put on Trial By Social Media. You can call licensing if you don't think the school is dealing with it in good faith.
Quote:
Originally Posted by convextech
OK, yes, I would definitely confront the teachers in the room and demand to talk to the offending kid's parent, or that the little **** be removed from the room. Biting so hard it leaves a bruise for 5 days? Oh hail no!
More likely that the teachers are frustrated by the biting, and any other things that go on like pushing, name calling, and kids snatching toys from each other. When they are at the center, they are in the classroom, so time being confronted is time away from supervising the kids. It is better to discuss these things with the center director.
The rest of the story about my daughter being bitten is that she told us "Heather" bit her. So we asked which Heather (it was the 80s). Anyway, they still were friends and both Heathers were invited to our daughter's birthday. Heather's mom was talking to me and said the teachers said that her Heather bit my daughter. I confirmed that my daughter said it was Heather, and the mom seemed upset that people thought her daughter did that, but my wife and I told her that it was something that happens at times and kids outgrow it and that they were still friends so we
I didn't say just leave it but I did say "this to shall pass" because it will. It's a normal childhood thing that most kids that age go through as a biter or as the one bitten. It sucks for the kid. No parent wants to see their kid hurt or their kid hurt another kid.
Like I said in #6, my kid was bitten. I went through all the emotions of the OP. I didn't threaten a lawsuit or call the cops but I worked with the teachers in my son's class. They worked to get it to stop. I couldn't tell you today who the kid was that did it but at one time I knew. My son was also bitten when he was in PreK. He was bit hard and it broke the skin. It happened that he was the closest to the biter and the biter was frustrated and the youngest kid in the class. It never happened again and the kid's mom was mortified. I took him to his peds as a precautionary measure and he did have a low grade fever. He had to take antibiotics just in case.
While you're wishing that it will go away and resolve of its own accord, jot down the dates of the last 3 incidents, and the bruising incident, just in case there's a sudden flare-up of the activity, and you're forced to deal with it.
We get a written report every time DD is injured, so I have documentation of all three bites, signed by both me and the teacher. The biter's parents also have to sign a report every time. There's no lack of documentation or trying to avoid the issue by the school. That's why DD is still going there (she also loves it).
They told me it was the same person biting DD every time so I asked them to keep that child away from DD. It's only been one day so I have no idea yet if that's working or not, but that might be all it takes. It's not the girl DD is most obviously friends with, so that makes it a lot easier to keep her away. Also, since it is just one person, they don't have to try to keep DD separated from several biters, I think that's much more logistically feasible for the teachers.
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Can't believe some posters here suggesting that "Oh, it will stop. Just leave it." NO WAY!
