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I think it has to do with character and values more than anything. If the eighteen year old has a conscience and integrity, and actually CARES about the parents and being trustworthy, then obviously, there will be no problem.
The eighteen year old would have to have the maturity not to announce the parent leaving an empty house on social media . . . it would be more difficult to "do the right thing" if a bunch of "friends" showed up . . .
I think it's important to make expectations crystal clear, like what (and who) is allowed at the house, and how often to check in with parents.
Young people should also be informed that keeping it quiet that the homeowners are out of town is an important safety precaution - I'd be more concerned about burglaries and the like than about some stereotypical '80s movie rager, honestly. Too many people of all ages don't know to keep those clues off their social media.
It's also worth discussing ahead of time what specifically do to in various emergencies or tricky situations (e.g. a busted water pipe) rather than assuming nothing will go wrong, or that the kid just knows how to handle various problems and/or would be able to reach you on your cell at all times.
Basically, you want to equip the kid with the tools and information to do right and handle things well, and then give them the opportunity to do right and handle things well.
Today's 18 year old is equivalent to about a 12 year old 15-20 years ago. A lot of kids aren't even growing up and starting their adult life until well into their late 20s/early 30s
Depends on how they are raised, it's absolutely ridiculous that some parents are treating their adult children like teenagers well into their twenties. Quit helicopter parenting your children and start raising independent adults. A 18yr old should be perfectly capable of being on his own for a weekend, if I have to track my 18 yr old on GPS then I've done something horribly wrong.
It must be hard for you, more generally. Has it had an adverse reaction on your son? My sympathies.
You know, I'm glad my kids are grown. If they weren't, I don't think I'd come to this forum with a problem about them. Too much "blame the parents".
Quote:
Originally Posted by ccc123
Depends on how they are raised, it's absolutely ridiculous that some parents are treating their adult children like teenagers well into their twenties. Quit helicopter parenting your children and start raising independent adults. A 18yr old should be perfectly capable of being on his own for a weekend, if I have to track my 18 yr old on GPS then I've done something horribly wrong.
Unless you two, MartiP and Carallel, know of a method of time travel, these two posts are simply irrelevant, not to mention MartiP's is snide. J
Yeah, well, it's always the "other kid's" fault, yes? This post does have a good point though that the neighbors might not always tell you, unlike what many people think will happen.
Speaking of snide.. Jeeze, it's not always the other kids fault. I'm not one of those moms.. My point was some kids don't have the balls? chutzpah, to say to their friends.. NO, you can't come in or NO, I'm not allowed.
I'm sure some 18 yr. olds are very mature for their age, but some aren't.
My point was some kids don't have the balls? chutzpah, to say to their friends.. NO, you can't come in or NO, I'm not allowed.
I'm sure some 18 yr. olds are very mature for their age, but some aren't.
If you know your kid is something of a pushover or not very socially adept, you can work with them ahead of time on how to handle situations like that - what to say, what to do - so they aren't at a loss if it arises.
If you know your kid is something of a pushover or not very socially adept, you can work with them ahead of time on how to handle situations like that - what to say, what to do - so they aren't at a loss if it arises.
You're right. Looking back I know that now but at the time I just assumed he'd be able to handle himself. It's not enough to say 'no friends in the house while I'm gone'. I should have sat him down and discussed how to handle a situation like that. He was my firstborn.. the practice child..
FWIW.. he's married, owns his own home and has a great job that's secure so I must have done something right along the way.. Lol
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