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Unless you are willing to drive him to a bus stop serviced by a "big bus", then you are at the mercy of whatever form of free transportation the district deems to provide. Another option may be finding a high school student in your area who is willing to take him to school and drop him off. Or form a car pool.
First mistake: When your son was called "extra retarded", why on earth didn't you address the problem then with the school or the kid's parents? A quiet word with a few parents would have solved that problem in a heartbeat and nipped it in the bud right then and there.
But honestly, you made a HUGE mistake when you simply "walked away" from the woman who was asking about your son. Here was a PERFECT opportunity to explain the circumstances, and you blew it! Forget revenge -- you were too wound up to explain, calmly and with a smile, that your house is isolated, and that's the only bus the district is willing to send, because it uses less gas. You can bet that the news would have traveled just as quickly. But no -- it was more important for you to be butt-hurt and pissed off than it was for you to DEAL with the problem.
And for heaven's sake, get a nanny who doesn't have DUIs. Good grief.
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"I don't understand. But I don't care, so it works out."
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Happy in Wyoming
So you think that he's better of with a drunk than he is by himself. People who drive drunk do everything else drunk as well.
I'm not the one in this situation, Happy, and I don't know that this girl is drinking. For all I know, she has an alcohol monitor on her leg like they do in Texas with two DUIs.
All I'm saying is, it's not a good idea to always leave an minor alone for 3 hours a day. That's when shenanigans happen, between 3 and 6.
I assume you were flustered, but you should have called her out. "Hey (insert biotch's name), why would you say that? Are you referring to the bus? You know perfectly well that my son doesn't have any issues" And then stare her down. I would be posting about it on the town's FB page. Your son will never learn to stand up for himself if you don't stand up for him.
I don't remember the grade/age of your boy but it should get better as he gets older. My youngest, now 13 in 8th grade was verbally bullied in 5th grade and lost his good friends in the process. He met some new friends and eventually it all worked out. Your son needs friends, so he needs to start reaching out to kids.
Thank you for that thoughtful response. I really appreciate that you didn't try to make me look stupid like other people in this thread have. Also that idea about slamming that be on social media, was a great idea I'm going to nail her all over the place online!
I'm trying to figure out how to get my son involved with some local sports club or something like that where he can make a few more friends that are going to the same school in a different circle of friends than his current one.
Welcome to CD.. very interesting story you've got going on there.
How about you find a better nanny, one who doesn't like to get plastered and then gets behind the wheel of her car and gets pulled over. Have her drive him to one of the other bus stops. No more drama and your son will be a happy person!
One other suggestion.. stop calling people names and using words like 'retard'.. Maybe if your son didn't hear you use the word retard in such a derogatory manner..
it wouldn't bother him so much when the other kids teased him.
Uh, the other kids are calling my son a retard. I'm not calling anybody a retard. You didn't even read what I was writing.
Also, I haven't any idea where you got the notion that my nanny is getting behind the wheel and she's drunk. She lost her license. She can't get behind the wheel! Is there something wrong that nobody seems to read anything?
He's eleven and he has a nanny?! If this ever gets out, he will be singled out for ridicule that will be beyond belief.
He is not an infant or toddler. He is a young man and needs to be treated as such. He has either entered puberty or soon will. You need to let him grow up.
I had a house key when I was seven. Does he even have one now?
We have electronic locks in our house. And yes, he's perfectly well aware of how to use them.
On the topic of the nanny, I don't really know why this is a problem. He's 11, yes, but he can't just stay home alone. The role of the nanny is simply to make sure that he has a safe place in the afternoon in that he doesn't get into any trouble, not that he would. It's not like she's changing his diapers.
She might also be helping with homework, starting dinner...
Exactly. She does other things, but the main reason for having her, is to make sure that my son has a responsible adult at home when we're not there. Plus, we live on a body of water, and we have boats, so we wouldn't want him going and playing around near the dock or the boats and possibly falling in and not having someone around there.
I’m still wondering where you find a school district that provides front-door service for non-disabled middle school students. Even our elementary schools’ have routes with stops but students from all grades & schools are provided transportation from home if disabled.
Can’t he just get approval to walk or get dropped off at, one of the stops for the next closest route?
Hopefully; this will be a life changing experience for your son. A chance to better understand & empathize with his disabled peers who have gone to school every day, for the last 5 years; on the short bus.
Sometimes, life is not about what you do or what you get but more about “what you do with what you get.”
My 13 year old son rides the short bus & has every day since day one. He has to wear a harness too, that can’t be removed until he gets out. It’s a big, black, clanky thing with buckles & loops that resembles a harness for a very large dog.
He very rarely gets invited anywhere & has had to watch his siblings get to go everywhere. Just last year he started “noticing” & wanting to go too but then cries in the car all the way home when everyone but him gets dropped off.
Now we hide any gift bags in the back of the car so he won’t see them & get his feelings hurt. On New Years Eve he got “dis-invited” to a party he had been looking forward to for two weeks; while we were already enroute, because I got a phone call from them with the “Maybe not tonight … we’ve had a lot of kids show up. It’s noisy. And crowded. He probably wouldn’t like it here anyway.” That night; it was me crying all the way home.
Also; like your “Real Housewives” I don’t work either. Actually, the way I say it is that I don’t “get to” work because there are only 2 daycare providers in my entire state that are licensed to care for children who require the level of care my son needs. My son does not actually qualify as “special needs”; his designation is “Severe Needs”. He needs that level of care now, at age 13 & will need it at age 18, And at age 21 & even at age 45. If he ever makes it to age 45; because his life-expectancy with his disability is only to age 36.
But I didn’t post this to complain (well, maybe a little bit) but to tell you about how grateful I am to the parents that are raising some very awesome kids these days. Among them is “R”; a popular, athletic kid who has at times left his likewise popular peers to help my son throw a ball back & forth. A group of little girls that make a point to come sit with him during lunch & “D”; the little girl who danced with him all night long at the 5th grade “continuation” dance. Oh yes; there is “C” the GT kid who stood up for my son for the “little things” that can make or break a day (“Stop whistling! It hurts his ears!”).
I don’t remember us kids being quite that awesome when I was in school but I’ve noticed it has a “snowball rolling downhill” effect; it encourages other kids to want to be kind too. Maybe this could happen with your son & his peers; it sounds like they a lot they could be doing something with..
Oh my gosh. Thank you so much for the thoughtful response. It sounds like you're a wonderful mother to your son. And by Housewives, I certainly don't mean people who are actually engage with their children all day long, which these other women, are not. They spend their days playing tennis and spreading rumors.
I can explain the school district. We live in a very small community and this is an affluent school district that serves several little suburbs. Because of the way the water and the land is arranged here, it would be very fast if we could just take a boat directly across the bay then we would be very close to the school. But as it is, you have to drive around this entire Peninsula which is 7 miles.
Last edited by schoolbus123; 07-14-2017 at 05:32 PM..
So kids are bullying him because they *think* he has special needs, and you are upset because he doesn't have special needs so therefore shouldn't be bullied. But meanwhile, it would be totally fine to bully a kid who really *does* have special needs? There is a serious bully culture problem at this school in that case. The problem is not the school bus, it's the bully culture. Please consider how your plight sounds to parents of kids who "take the short bus" because they actually do have a disability.
No, they're not bullying him because they think he has special needs. They're bullying him because they know he doesn't have special needs, and they know that it gets to him because he doesn't. The special needs students have their own classes, and my son is in regular classes. Since very obvious that he doesn't have special needs.
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... but really not funny.
