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I went through this with my two boys. Don't even take a chance. Get drug test kits off ebay or Amazon or even the local drug store. There is no reason that she should refuse to take the test. If she does then I would suspect something is up.
Feeling cold can be the result of an illness. Or it could be drugs. Or it could be self-harm. Or it could be an attempt to hide bruises inflicted by an abusive boyfriend.
Best bet is probably to schedule a checkup at the doctor's to rule out all of the above. If nothing shows up, she's just being a kid.
Catgirl, thank you for the info. Yes, we are concerned, but hope for the best.
My son started using drugs when he was 15 and I was clueless. What don't you ask her in a non-accusatory way if she is using drugs or if she is depressed. Sometimes, especially with young people, they don't know how to tell their parents they are depressed, they just withdraw. She could have mononucleosis or another virus making her tired. Just let her know you are there for her in a non-judgmental way.
chiluvr1228, thank you for the info. yes, we are preparing to start the conversation when she comes home.
Agreed, and even if she's had taken drugs, it's more likely to be something like weed or alcohol rather than going straight to needle drugs. That's a big step, and it's not cheap.
fleetiebelle, thank you for the info. we didn't know that. but she is working in the summer, and has her own bank account. we may not be able to find out if she spent things in cash. But we appreciated that you pointing it out.
Something is wrong. Depression sounds more likely than drug abuse. If you had a good relationship with her pediatrician, and the pedi will still see her, I'd start there.
parentologist, Thank you for the info. She has her own doctors from her college healthcare system. There is no way we could "work" with her doctors for that. Besides, she is 19, and she is entitled to keep her own medical records. We still appreciated that your pointing this out.
How do you know the college has a drug problem? How are your daughter's grades? Kids with hard drug habits don't do well in school, and don't last long. Nothing you've indicated about her behavior screams drug abuse.
Mattie, Thank you. We just want to find out and hope for the best.
Self harm, "cutting", is unfortunately very popular among young girls today. I'd try to see her arms if you can, so that you can provide support and help if that's the case.
If she has needle marks, then that's not something to take lightly and any parent telling you to 'get over it' isn't a good parent and not someone you want advice from. Teens drinking a bit, maybe smoking pot in college is hopefully what these other parents mean, not shooting up.
Good luck and I hope all is good with your daughter.
bellebud, Thank you. Yes, we want to find out and hope for the best.
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