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Old 08-25-2017, 03:19 AM
 
1 posts, read 1,163 times
Reputation: 10

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Okay, so I'm a mother of 2 kids aged 11 and 19. Our daughter, aged 11, has a YouTube channel and wanted to shoot a video with our 19 year old son while I recorded. So the game was one person would wrap their legs around the other's waist and squeeze as hard as possible. They would both do this and time how long it took for the person to give up, whoever gives up first loses.

Our son did it first, he was squeezing her for a few minutes before I got bored, thought it was safe and set the camera down and made tea. I found out later by looking at the footage that he got bored too and gave up. Then when our daughter wrapped her legs around him and squeezed, he was in pain and gave up after about 15 seconds. (she does gymnastics and has strong legs, but then again she only weighs 60lbs so it didn't occur to me that she could hurt our son)

But inevitably, our daughter didn't let go and enjoyed the power dynamic over her older brother. She told him that she wouldn't let go until he called himself a 'b-i-t-c-h' to the camera. He refused and tried hitting her, she grabbed his arms and restrained them. He then repeated the statement to the camera but she didn't let go, instead telling him to repeat more things which he did. After about 5 minutes of this our son puked (on my favourite rug!) and she still didn't let go straight away, she waited maybe half a minute after he first started puking to let go. It was so sadistic, I have no idea where she learned any of this.

I showed my husband the footage and the only time he got involved was to tell our son to "man up" or to congratulate our daughter for beating up a larger opponent. I don't know what to do, he's not taking it seriously at all. Meanwhile, our son is embarrassed and looks scared of his sister. Advice? Should I take my daughter to therapy?

 
Old 08-25-2017, 03:53 AM
 
10,196 posts, read 9,902,527 times
Reputation: 24135
LOL your 60 lbs 11 year old (which is TINY for an 11 year old, esp an athletic one) "beat up" your 19 year old son?

Welcome to CD :-/

No more YouTube channel. Talk with a therapist and share the footage and see what they think.

Seems like a no brainer.
 
Old 08-25-2017, 06:31 AM
 
Location: Westwood, MA
5,037 posts, read 6,937,186 times
Reputation: 5961
Quote:
Originally Posted by stefaniastella View Post
Okay, so I'm a mother of 2 kids aged 11 and 19. Our daughter, aged 11, has a YouTube channel and wanted to shoot a video with our 19 year old son while I recorded. So the game was one person would wrap their legs around the other's waist and squeeze as hard as possible. They would both do this and time how long it took for the person to give up, whoever gives up first loses.
Your daughter is too young to have a YouTube channel. I guess I'm the only person that reads the Terms of Service?

Quote:
Originally Posted by stefaniastella View Post
Our son did it first, he was squeezing her for a few minutes before I got bored, thought it was safe and set the camera down and made tea. I found out later by looking at the footage that he got bored too and gave up. Then when our daughter wrapped her legs around him and squeezed, he was in pain and gave up after about 15 seconds. (she does gymnastics and has strong legs, but then again she only weighs 60lbs so it didn't occur to me that she could hurt our son)

But inevitably, our daughter didn't let go and enjoyed the power dynamic over her older brother. She told him that she wouldn't let go until he called himself a 'b-i-t-c-h' to the camera. He refused and tried hitting her, she grabbed his arms and restrained them. He then repeated the statement to the camera but she didn't let go, instead telling him to repeat more things which he did. After about 5 minutes of this our son puked (on my favourite rug!) and she still didn't let go straight away, she waited maybe half a minute after he first started puking to let go. It was so sadistic, I have no idea where she learned any of this.
I remember a Dave Barry article where he was so exasperated by his kids arguing in the back seat that he was basically OK with them taking turns hitting each other because they were at least taking turns. I assumed this was a humorous exaggeration and that no sane parent would sign off on kids taking turns hurting each other. And certainly not record videos of themselves doing it. And then post it to a YouTube channel.

Seriously? You thought this was a good idea? Or at least you didn't think this was a terrible idea? Don't let your kids do stupid stuff like this. Don't let them record themselves doing stupid stuff. Don't let your daughter have a YouTube channel. Don't let her upload videos of her doing stupid stuff. Don't let your kids fight--even if your 11 year old daughter is stronger than 19 year old son, there's no reason people of such different ages and sizes should ever fight or even play fight.

Quote:
Originally Posted by stefaniastella View Post
I showed my husband the footage and the only time he got involved was to tell our son to "man up" or to congratulate our daughter for beating up a larger opponent. I don't know what to do, he's not taking it seriously at all. Meanwhile, our son is embarrassed and looks scared of his sister. Advice? Should I take my daughter to therapy?
Look, this entire story is unbelievable. It was unbelievable on reddit and it's unbelievable now. For one, a 60lb 11 year old girl is already pretty undersized (Girls growth chart and average weight for girls - Moose and Doc), certainly when facing off against a 19 year old boy.

If the story is true, I don't know what advice you're looking for that wasn't already given to you. Take away the YouTube channel. Delete the video. Punish your daughter for being a physically violent bully. Make the punishment harsh enough that she doesn't think it's worth trying again on someone other than your son and to let her know that you are absolutely serious.

If you're worried about your son not being tough, get your husband to help him be tougher, whatever that entails. I'm sure your husband has already spent a good decade berating your son for his weakness.
 
Old 08-25-2017, 10:22 AM
 
Location: Caverns measureless to man...
7,588 posts, read 6,641,590 times
Reputation: 17966
Cool story. I give it about a "6".
 
Old 08-25-2017, 12:31 PM
 
Location: Fort Lauderdale, Florida
11,936 posts, read 13,130,776 times
Reputation: 27078
Quote:
Originally Posted by stefaniastella View Post
Okay, so I'm a mother of 2 kids aged 11 and 19. Our daughter, aged 11, has a YouTube channel and wanted to shoot a video with our 19 year old son while I recorded. So the game was one person would wrap their legs around the other's waist and squeeze as hard as possible. They would both do this and time how long it took for the person to give up, whoever gives up first loses.

?
STOP this immediately.

This is horrible parenting in every single way.

Seriously, this is on the same level with the Balloon Boy Dad.
 
Old 08-25-2017, 12:38 PM
 
16,709 posts, read 19,438,444 times
Reputation: 41487
Quote:
Originally Posted by stefaniastella View Post
wanted to shoot a video with our 19 year old son while I recorded. So the game was one person would wrap their legs around the other's waist and squeeze as hard as possible.
...
congratulate our daughter for beating up a larger opponent.
I think both parents need therapy, and the 11 year old needs her butt kicked, hopefully by her older brother.
 
Old 08-25-2017, 12:46 PM
 
Location: Austin
7,244 posts, read 21,832,489 times
Reputation: 10015
My daughter does competitive gymnastics, is 9 1/2 and weighs 70 lbs. No way someone with all that gymnastics muscles could only weigh 60 lbs at 11 years old.

And no way a 19 year old couldn't break her free, especially when throwing up.
 
Old 08-25-2017, 01:14 PM
 
581 posts, read 457,253 times
Reputation: 2511
Take your kid to therapy over a stupid stunt that went wrong? That seems a little extreme.
 
Old 08-25-2017, 01:20 PM
 
Location: Avignon, France
11,164 posts, read 7,986,373 times
Reputation: 28978
Quote:
Originally Posted by convextech View Post
I think both parents need therapy, and the 11 year old needs her butt kicked, hopefully by her older brother.
Finding someone who can kick her butt may be difficult.
 
Old 08-25-2017, 01:30 PM
 
Location: Westwood, MA
5,037 posts, read 6,937,186 times
Reputation: 5961
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sydney123 View Post
Finding someone who can kick her butt may be difficult.
Because she's fictional?

There are trained fighters that weigh significantly more than 60lbs. I have a feeling they wouldn't have much trouble handling an 11 year old gymnast. This isn't Jessica Jones, this is a a (very) little girl.
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