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I don't think we feel threatened. Like I stated in another thread, my issue is when childless people talk about the responsibility of raising children as this huge horrible burdon. A burdon that many of us took on merely because we think it's what society expects of us.
Frankly, if someone truly feels that children are not a gift and are not special, then they absolutely made the right choice not to have kids.
The idea that kids are a hugh, horrible {U]burden[/u] was not stated here, by me or by anyone else. The idea of kids was never part of my life, so I chose not to do it. I was sterilized in my early 20s, am now in my 50s and never regretted a day. You took on a burden because it’s what society expected? Interesting perspective.
Of course I made the right choice, for myself. I’m intelligent and self-aware enough to know myself and my personal limitations.
Quote:
Originally Posted by KristyLiz
Exactly! And this is what I see many childless people doing - spouting off all this nonsense about what a burdon children can be, in order to defend their choice.
I did not once bash people for not having children - hey, parenthood isn't for everone.
Yes, you are bashing me, and continue to do so by demanding that we defend our choice
I don’t have to defend my choice to not breed.
Looks like you’re a bit defensive about your choice, though.
Quote:
Originally Posted by mimimomx3
While the rising fertility rate was unwelcome news to some environmentalists, the "replacement rate" is generally considered desirable by demographers and sociologists because it means a country is producing enough young people to replace and support aging workers without population growth being so high it taxes national resources.
"This is a noteworthy event," said John Bongaarts of the Population Council, a New York-based think tank. "This is a sign of demographic health. Many countries would like to be at this level."
There are no jobs for people currently in the working pool, it’s not going to get any better as we morph into a worldwide economy.
some of the responses on here are from people who really SHOULD remain 'child free'.
…
my q? why are people who are so adamant about being CF (which is fine) on a PARENTING board ?
surely there are other places to talk about how wonderful your childfree lives are?
As you are well aware, this thread started in Politics.
Now you want to ban us from conversation?
A little judgmental?
Quote:
Originally Posted by decafdave
I'm not unhappy and I think that's evident in my positive world-view. You are the one preaching doom and gloom for Earth every post! Continuing with the psychiatry, did you ever think that the fact you keep moving means you're running from something?
Yeah, I’m running from one world hotspot to another in service to my country.
Not judgmental, I don't care what you want to do, that's your choice.
But don't tell me that I'm wrong or have to defend my choice to NOT do something.
No, we’re mostly garden variety people, nothing special. We aren’t another Jonas Salk, Bill Gates, etc. We’re just people. Your implication from the original post was that your kid could grow up to do something special, There’s a very small possibility might something like that might occur.
So you reproduced to take care of yourself? You think that your kids will make much difference to me and my future/retirement? I think not, I’m quite well taken care of on my own. SS is simply icing on my cake. I can afford to invest because I have no child related expenses.
1)We're all special, and we all have a role to play in destiny and the world. We don't have to be a Jonas Salk, Mother Teresa or Joan of Arc to make an impact on the world and people around us. Of course my kids will grow up to do something special. They are doing something special all the time. Even you posting on this board is causing people to think and make connections, something that might not happen if you hadn't been born.
2)Of course I didn't have children so that they could take care of me. Younger generations take care of the older generation collectively. Even with investments outside of SS (and I have them, too....) we need younger workers to replace us one day.
So my opinion isn’t welcome? Lower birthrate is good for the planet.
I was a teacher for a while myself. Most of those kids were not special, either.
Since you look at the world differently from me, why must you feel the need to denigrate my choices and my reasons?
Grace, I wish more people would think like you. A child does need to be “wanted” before people choose to have them.
I live near an American community in foreign land. I can usually tell the American families by the way their kids disrupt the quiet of restaurants, go running down grocery aisles, act out in so many inappropriate places and the parents don’t do anything about it. They leave their kids out there to do what they want with little/no consideration for others.
I'm so sorry that you think I find your opinion unwelcome or that I denigrate your choices. I very much do NOT. That's why I come to CD, not for an opinion validation party...I love to share opinions. Your life works for you, and I'm glad. Everyone should be happy. Kids are a big part of my life and a big part of my happiness, I hope that you can understand that.
I can see why you were only a teacher for a short while. Teachers who stay in the profession for a long time know that every child is special. The day I begin to think that some kids are special and others aren't, or that no child is special, is the day I quit.
Kids ARE special... every single one of them regardless of what they do or end up becoming.. Every PERSOn is special and every person is unique.. and we were all children once..
they are the hope for the future.. they can get right what we get wrong if we teach them properly and take the time to allow them to learn from our mistakes..
Every child born is a unique soul with a path in life that they chose (not in their concious mind of course) and every parent with a child is givent he charge of caring for that soul as it grows and matures to adulthood. Very much so how a parent interacts with their child will impact who and what that child becomes..
Parents that do not discipline will have unruly children. Parents that teach their children manners and about using "inside" voices, will have more well behaved and not so unruly children.. Children that are loved for who they are.. faults and all.. will turn out to be well developed self assured children.. those abused, those put down or not shown the love will most likely turn out.. well different.
Bottom line is this.. if you are contemplating children.. but resent them and their presence.. don't have them.. if you feel that children are a 'burden' to you, don't do it. If you feel that having a child is akin to "breeding" like a dog breeds, then don't have children..
BUt.. if you want to watch a human being grow and develop into their own person. and you want so much to have a hand in that developement. If you have a lot of love in your heart that you want to give.. if children bring smiles to your faces .. then have children..
If you are AFRAID of becomign a parent.. that does not mean you shouldn't become a parent. I think you would be hard pressed to find one parent out there that wasn't terrified at the prospect of being given the task of raising another human being.. I can assure you that your instincts kick in and are strong..
If you have an urge to have children.. and you FEEL the need to have children. .that is your instinct telling you to have children.. My urge didn't kick in until I was in a good marriage and was ready. Don't have children to plese someone else.. have children becasue YOU want to please you AND your husband.
If you feel that children are anything BUT a blessing then most likely you shouldn't have them. .. BUT.. I can almost promise you that if you find yourself unexpectedly expecting, once you have that child.. you'll NEVER regret it.. that soul was meant to be and YOU were meant to be it's mom..
And.. if you aren't a parent.. then you weren't meant to be one.. and so you are doing what you needed to do for your life path!
Kids ARE special... every single one of them regardless of what they do or end up becoming.. Every PERSOn is special and every person is unique.. and we were all children once..
they are the hope for the future.. they can get right what we get wrong if we teach them properly and take the time to allow them to learn from our mistakes..
Every child born is a unique soul with a path in life that they chose (not in their concious mind of course) and every parent with a child is givent he charge of caring for that soul as it grows and matures to adulthood. Very much so how a parent interacts with their child will impact who and what that child becomes..
Parents that do not discipline will have unruly children. Parents that teach their children manners and about using "inside" voices, will have more well behaved and not so unruly children.. Children that are loved for who they are.. faults and all.. will turn out to be well developed self assured children.. those abused, those put down or not shown the love will most likely turn out.. well different.
Bottom line is this.. if you are contemplating children.. but resent them and their presence.. don't have them.. if you feel that children are a 'burden' to you, don't do it. If you feel that having a child is akin to "breeding" like a dog breeds, then don't have children..
BUt.. if you want to watch a human being grow and develop into their own person. and you want so much to have a hand in that developement. If you have a lot of love in your heart that you want to give.. if children bring smiles to your faces .. then have children..
If you are AFRAID of becomign a parent.. that does not mean you shouldn't become a parent. I think you would be hard pressed to find one parent out there that wasn't terrified at the prospect of being given the task of raising another human being.. I can assure you that your instincts kick in and are strong..
If you have an urge to have children.. and you FEEL the need to have children. .that is your instinct telling you to have children.. My urge didn't kick in until I was in a good marriage and was ready. Don't have children to plese someone else.. have children becasue YOU want to please you AND your husband.
If you feel that children are anything BUT a blessing then most likely you shouldn't have them. .. BUT.. I can almost promise you that if you find yourself unexpectedly expecting, once you have that child.. you'll NEVER regret it.. that soul was meant to be and YOU were meant to be it's mom..
And.. if you aren't a parent.. then you weren't meant to be one.. and so you are doing what you needed to do for your life path!
Boy.. what a mouth full huh.. LOL
Good post.
There are people out there who don't want children, and that's great for them.
There are people out there who have children, are awful parents and never should have had children.
There are people out there who love everything about raising a person and bringing about more love, and that's good for them.
It doesn't make anyone wrong or right.
However, I do disagree with whoever said, more or less, that noone is special, or that few people are. Everyone is special to somebody. Somebody is going to listen to someone else at one time or another, take someone's advice...everyone will make a difference-whether little or small- at one point or another. Of course some people will make more of a difference than others.
My children are special because they made a difference in my life. I became a teacher and hopefully will make a difference in other children's lives. When those children grow up...maybe they will make a difference in someone else's life.
I do have to ponder- why do I feel as if this should be in the "Pets" forum??
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