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Is totally kid safe even a good goal? My freaking backyard is not totally kid safe. School sure as heck isn't! They are exposed to the worst influences that they come across at school.
Being a tech nerd, I am always focused on root causes of issues and "problems". If a kid can bypass security, if they want to, the root cause is not the security. It is the kid that wants to, when that is my kid! This kid does not know about the dangers, knows that it is someone else' responsibility to manage risks and dangers and thus not theirs to learn about.
Tweens and teens are not stupid unless we expect and scaffold irresponsible stupidity. Kids don't want to be bullied, targeted and exposed to unknown dangers.
Back when I was a kid, my best friend's parents would not let her use the telephone. No joke. It was too dangerous and she was too young, at 13, to make a call without her parents. Um? Teach your kid? And don't make them feel like an irresponsible twit who cannot handle life?
I wrote how I scaffolded tech with my older kids and how I am doing that now. There are differences between schools and back yards and electronics and the internet...you know what.
Just as an aside...I met and was groomed by a pedo by calling them when I was 13 (we were crank calling at a sleep over). Not that that has anything to do with this as the same time.
Electronics change the way brains work, and teens are esp susceptible. They should not be allowed more then 2 hours of recreational electronics a day. Games (even learning) are worse. The effects of screens on brains make children have a harder time finding pleasure in normal daily life.
The internet is not a safe place. Content is easy...porn, violence, hate speech, etc. But there are actually bad people on there looking to hurt people. Even CD can get nasty and its pretty mellow. And its a way that bullies can actually follow home and get into the home of their target and continue the abuse.
So backyards...unless you are living in a terrible place, are not the same. But you still keep an eye out, right?
And schools can be rough, but there are usually adults to monitor things and most parents are up there in a heart beat if something it up....most parents talk a good bit to their kids about what is going on.
They just aren't the same. When I worked with the Apple guy, we just couldn't get it to the device I wanted it to be. He talked openly about why Apple doesn't make it easy.
I teach at a tech school. My students literally code for all platforms including IOS. I am tech savvy myself, both in terms of using proprietary tech like apple products as well as coding my own programs, including MATLAB and R. My training has included not just programing but training on how to safely use the internet with students.
If you want to control what your child does with their iphone, you:
A: Don't let them jailbreak it (TBH I had assumed this was a no brainer but apparently not)
B: Disable downloading apps
C: Whitelist the website you want them to use
D: Use a good password to control all of the above.
Nothing you have said makes any of the above less true. Please explain how anyone can download chrome or another browser if such actions are password protected?
If I am snippy it is because you are saying things that are not true. There is no reason to fear phones. Parental controls work if you take a few minutes to educate yourself and actually talk to your children. The notion of throwing up your hands and saying things that it is not possible to control a smartphone is just plain old lazy.
I can't speak for android - but you can't delete the Safari on my iphone. It comes preloaded on the phone, and is not available as a deletable app when you put the phone in deletion mode, so to speak.
My 11yr old has a phone (prepaid no internet access) because she is in situations where needing an adult ASAP is needed. My 9yr old doesnt have one. My 12yr old doesnt have one. She only gets her phone when shes in those situations.
I teach at a tech school. My students literally code for all platforms including IOS. I am tech savvy myself, both in terms of using proprietary tech like apple products as well as coding my own programs, including MATLAB and R. My training has included not just programing but training on how to safely use the internet with students.
If you want to control what your child does with their iphone, you:
A: Don't let them jailbreak it (TBH I had assumed this was a no brainer but apparently not)
B: Disable downloading apps
C: Whitelist the website you want them to use
D: Use a good password to control all of the above.
Nothing you have said makes any of the above less true. Please explain how anyone can download chrome or another browser if such actions are password protected?
If I am snippy it is because you are saying things that are not true. There is no reason to fear phones. Parental controls work if you take a few minutes to educate yourself and actually talk to your children. The notion of throwing up your hands and saying things that it is not possible to control a smartphone is just plain old lazy.
First, CALM DOWN. You come across really pissy for no real reason. I'm trying to use every LOL and smiley in the word to show you it's just a friendly chat on my end and you still sound mad. Repeat after me: It's not that serious. It's all love here. ((((hug)))))
Second, you are talking about things the average parent is not going to know, and in fact has to be more than a little tech savvy to accomplish. "Don't let them jailbreak it" is a perfect example. "I assumed it was a no brainer". Did you now? Oh. You realize most people had to google jailbreak to even know what you were talking about? LOL. Yes, if you know what some of these things are you can take action to stop them from happening on a particular device. You are correct. (until they pass around a hack to get around those actions LOL).
And for the last time, I don't fear phones. My kids had them since age 11 or so. I put some controls on it and monitor their use, emphasize building good judgement and sticking to the rules that have been set, talk to them about what they're doing on the phone, and call it a day. What I don't do is assume I can protect them from everything. Call me "lazy" , but I find it pointless to go to such lengths with a phone, especially whitelisting (I'm not going to pick out a handful of approved sites for them. If they are old enough for the phone they are old enough to have a little leeway about where they go). Perhaps I'd go there with an 8 year old's phone but not a 12 year old's. But I wouldn't buy a phone for an eight year old anyway so there's that!
Even if I buy a flip phone with no texting, the kid can still get in trouble online when out of my sight on one of the many other electronic devices they come in contact with daily - either their own or someone else's. To me pretending otherwise builds a false sense of security on my end. So, I treat it is they WILL come across sketchy situations online, and I need them to be prepared when they do. That's why my focus is on building discernment - in a semi-controlled environment in the years running up to high school - so it's all old hat by the time they are let loose.
All of that said... I don't think there are many wrong ways to parent when it comes to technology. Everybody knows their own kids, and there is nothing wrong with most of the approaches discussed in this thread to me. It's just a matter of preference.
I can't speak for android - but you can't delete the Safari on my iphone. It comes preloaded on the phone, and is not available as a deletable app when you put the phone in deletion mode, so to speak.
You bolded something that had nothing to do with deleting Safari.
I said "whitelist" and provided a link explaining what that means. If you go into parental controls, you can write in a list of allowed websites that safari can visit all others are disallowed.
What you bolded was in regards to some who claim you can get around Safari parent controls by downloading another browser. This only works if you have downloads not set by parental control.
First, CALM DOWN. You come across really pissy for no real reason. I'm trying to use every LOL and smiley in the word to show you it's just a friendly chat on my end and you still sound mad. Repeat after me: It's not that serious. It's all love here. ((((hug)))))
Clearly it is not serious to you, but fibbing about what can and cannot be done with technology is serious to parents like the OP and to people who actually do this as part of the job.
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Second, you are talking about things the average parent is not going to know, and in fact has to be more than a little tech savvy to accomplish. "Don't let them jailbreak it" is a perfect example. "I assumed it was a no brainer". Did you now? Oh. You realize most people had to google jailbreak to even know what you were talking about? LOL. Yes, if you know what some of these things are you can take action to stop them from happening on a particular device. You are correct. (until they pass around a hack to get around those actions LOL).
It is absolutely fine to now know these terms. It is not fine to present your lack of knowledge as fact, which is exactly what you did. BTW, there is no hacking an iphone UNLESS YOU JAILBREAK IT. So again, please stop presenting misinformation.
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And for the last time, I don't fear phones. My kids had them since age 11 or so. I put some controls on it and monitor their use, emphasize building good judgement and sticking to the rules that have been set, talk to them about what they're doing on the phone, and call it a day. What I don't do is assume I can protect them from everything. Call me "lazy" , but I find it pointless to go to such lengths with a phone, especially whitelisting (I'm not going to pick out a handful of approved sites for them. If they are old enough for the phone they are old enough to have a little leeway about where they go). Perhaps I'd go there with an 8 year old's phone but not a 12 year old's. But I wouldn't buy a phone for an eight year old anyway so there's that!
But you keep presenting misinformation which makes people fear phones. And no one said you had to do anything. But you insisted that these things were not possible, and that there are work arounds, there are not.
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Even if I buy a flip phone with no texting, the kid can still get in trouble online when out of my sight on one of the many other electronic devices they come in contact with daily - either their own or someone else's. To me pretending otherwise builds a false sense of security on my end. So, I treat it is they WILL come across sketchy situations online, and I need them to be prepared when they do. That's why my focus is on building discernment - in a semi-controlled environment in the years running up to high school - so it's all old hat by the time they are let loose.
That is all irrelevant to the fact you keep insisting things that are not true.
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All of that said... I don't think there are many wrong ways to parent when it comes to technology. Everybody knows their own kids, and there is nothing wrong with most of the approaches discussed in this thread to me. It's just a matter of preference.
Actually the person who was insisting it is not possible to use parental controls of smartphones is not talking about parenting styles. You jumped in on a sidebar about what is or is not possible to do with a smartphone with more misinformation.
Electronics change the way brains work, and teens are esp susceptible.
You are pretty difficult to take seriously. They used to say the same balogna about rock n roll music. In all decisions, the pros and cons are measured. The super freak fear of technology is overstated. YMMV.
I can't speak for android - but you can't delete the Safari on my iphone. It comes preloaded on the phone, and is not available as a deletable app when you put the phone in deletion mode, so to speak.
Yes but you can restrict it so that it doesn't show up on the homepage and you need to enter a passcode to access it.
You are pretty difficult to take seriously. They used to say the same balogna about rock n roll music. In all decisions, the pros and cons are measured. The super freak fear of technology is overstated. YMMV.
I would do the research for you...but I wont bother since you wont take me seriously. It is absolutely true and supported by scientific data. It is supported by pediatricians and child psychologists. And by parents who have seen it first hand. But yeah, don't take me seriously if that suits you.
I don't doubt the research. I have seen it. I doubt the conclusions. The extremity of your conclusions in particular.
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Repeat after me: It's not that serious. It's all love here. ((((hug))))) 
, but I find it pointless to go to such lengths with a phone, especially whitelisting (I'm not going to pick out a handful of approved sites for them. If they are old enough for the phone they are old enough to have a little leeway about where they go). Perhaps I'd go there with an 8 year old's phone but not a 12 year old's. But I wouldn't buy a phone for an eight year old anyway so there's that!
