Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
All the boys just started middle school and are new at this school. They do a lot different then I am used to so I don't know how they handle things.
Your son is at an age where he is looking to see if you trust his judgement. If you don't contact this boys mom he may not come to you in the future with other issues.
It can be as simple as just mentioning " I hear so and so is having a hard time with some of the other boys at school. Anything we can do?"
The child being bullied is young to consider suicide, but with all the bullying/suicides going on these days, I wouldn't hesitate for a MINUTE to tell the mother everything I knew.
How would you feel if he DID do something harmful to himself or the bully (that's when kids take guns to school)? How would that mother feel if something happened and she KNEW you knew and didn't tell her?
You're not being fair to your son either. He ASKED you to intervene. He's been protecting this kid, but he wants your help too. Tell the kid's mother!
I would talk to the mother. Or if you can't make yourself do that, let your son call her. He's seen what's happening, he's been trying to protect his friend, so he's already involved.
From a mother who had her son be very badly bullied when he was younger, and completely changed who he is. I would highly recommend talking to the mother. You are not being a "buttinsky".
I wish I would've intervened more. I wish I would have the support from another mother who knew what was going on! I think sometimes as parents we second-guess ourselves, and just knowing that there's someone there to support you and knowing that your child is being bullied can be all the difference in the world.
Last edited by veuvegirl; 10-07-2017 at 09:02 PM..
Bullying can lead to some pretty significant mental health issues. I'd tell the mom, especially because you're friendly with her and because your son is his best friend. If you didn't want to do that, you could tip off the school that you're concerned about the boy. They won't be able to share specifics with you, but if they're not on it, then that will get them on it.
I agree that the mom should know if she doesn't already. With that said, I understand you said it's a small school bit my child's middle school has a no tolerance policy on bullying and I'm happy about that. This bullying BS is getting out of control!
from a mother who had her son believe very badly when he was younger, and completely changed who he is. I would highly recommend talking to the mother. You are not being a "buttinsky".
I wish i would've intervened more. I wish i would have the support from another mother who knew what was going on! I think sometimes as parents we second-guess ourselves, and just knowing that there's someone there to support you and knowing that your child is being bullied can be all the difference in the world.
Yeah I feel anxious like they need to be doing more. The kid was absent the day after so he might have been suspended for a day. With privacy, they couldn't tell me. From what I gather from my son, the boy has some social/emotional problems so they might be trying to work with him from that angle as well. I know they do get involved...I just wish they made it stop. Because you are right...my son shouldn't feel like he has to go around protecting his peers from this one kid.
I just don't have enough information to know how the school is handling it. Just that it does continue to be ongoing is troublesome.
To me the key point here is, it doesn't matter if you know how they are handling it or not, but it does matter if they are handling it. If the bullying is continuing, then they aren't. It doesn't matter about privacy laws, or the bully's emotional issues, or anything else. The target needs to be safe in school. Period. And from what you said the school is failing to provide the target a safe environment.
Plant the seed of knowledge with the other parent. Once they know,they are then 'aware'.
I took a self defense course..Less direct contact the better,yet 'pushing' to defend from an aggressor can be done with minimal harm. The immediate result is 'space' to have a safety zone. For your son ,he may be interested in self defense discipline. It's not to harm another...It's body skills used to defend a safety space...
I think if I just say to the mom "man that X kid is driving my son nuts...he said he is bothering your kid too. I sure hope the school figures out how to make the kid stop picking on other kids" it will leave it open for if she knows or doesn't and to ask more if she didn't know. And it doesn't sound like I am running to her to tell on the school or get in her business. Just commiserating. I think that would be a good way to bring it up...
I think if I just say to the mom "man that X kid is driving my son nuts...he said he is bothering your kid too. I sure hope the school figures out how to make the kid stop picking on other kids" it will leave it open for if she knows or doesn't and to ask more if she didn't know. And it doesn't sound like I am running to her to tell on the school or get in her business. Just commiserating. I think that would be a good way to bring it up...
Sounds like a good plan.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
