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Old 10-09-2017, 08:55 AM
 
Location: Living on the Coast in Oxnard CA
16,289 posts, read 32,264,084 times
Reputation: 21891

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One of our sons was being bullied from 4th grade till 7th grade. At the time we were living in an apartment and the main kid that bullied our son was at the time taller than our son. My wife has always taught the kids to not fight no matter what. I was more into "boys will be boys and they will work it out on their own."

By the time our son was in 7th grade he had grown taller than the main bully, and yes there were many more that hung out with this punk kid. During the year my wife would go to the school and complain. She got to know the principle really well. Finally near the end of the year my wife told the principle that she is instructing our son to take care of this bully if he or any of his friends do anything else. The principle tells our son, in a meeting with our son and my wife that maybe it is time to take care of business. He tells our son that if he does get hit and hit the other boy that both of them will be suspended but he would support my son.

It's the last week of school and this kid stars bulling our son. Our son tells him to stop. He tells the kid if he hits him again that he would end it there. The kid punches our son and our son hits him square in the face, knocking the other kid down. Other kids see that the bully is on the ground and our son is telling him that the next time he messes with him it is going to be worse than that.

Both boys are brought into the principles office and after getting talked to they get suspended for a week. It's an early summer for our son.

The next year in the 8th grade, near the start of the school year, some kid stars to pick on our son. Realize that the word had not gotten to all the other bullies yet. As soon as this happens some other kid stops the bully and says, you may want to reconsider as, that guy (Our son) knocked out the biggest bully of the school at the end of last year. After that, no one ever picked on our son or any of our kids.


Our younger three kids are all in to Taekwondo. We don't plan on having them ever become a punching bag for some bully. It has worked out well so far.
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Old 10-09-2017, 09:20 AM
 
Location: South Carolina
14,785 posts, read 24,012,148 times
Reputation: 27092
I'm in the call her camp . I mean I would want to know but all my kids took care of it themselves and I mean they had a lot of cousins who went to the same school and most of them were in the same grade so if you picked on or bullied one you got about 11 kids on your butt for bullying so my kids did not get bullied very often . I say call the mom and let her know so that maybe she can work on something for her son . Either way good luck dear and hope all works out .
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Old 10-09-2017, 07:07 PM
 
Location: Canada
6,615 posts, read 6,512,367 times
Reputation: 18433
Quote:
Originally Posted by SOON2BNSURPRISE View Post
One of our sons was being bullied from 4th grade till 7th grade. At the time we were living in an apartment and the main kid that bullied our son was at the time taller than our son. My wife has always taught the kids to not fight no matter what. I was more into "boys will be boys and they will work it out on their own."

By the time our son was in 7th grade he had grown taller than the main bully, and yes there were many more that hung out with this punk kid. During the year my wife would go to the school and complain. She got to know the principle really well. Finally near the end of the year my wife told the principle that she is instructing our son to take care of this bully if he or any of his friends do anything else. The principle tells our son, in a meeting with our son and my wife that maybe it is time to take care of business. He tells our son that if he does get hit and hit the other boy that both of them will be suspended but he would support my son.

It's the last week of school and this kid stars bulling our son. Our son tells him to stop. He tells the kid if he hits him again that he would end it there. The kid punches our son and our son hits him square in the face, knocking the other kid down. Other kids see that the bully is on the ground and our son is telling him that the next time he messes with him it is going to be worse than that.

Both boys are brought into the principles office and after getting talked to they get suspended for a week. It's an early summer for our son.

The next year in the 8th grade, near the start of the school year, some kid stars to pick on our son. Realize that the word had not gotten to all the other bullies yet. As soon as this happens some other kid stops the bully and says, you may want to reconsider as, that guy (Our son) knocked out the biggest bully of the school at the end of last year. After that, no one ever picked on our son or any of our kids.


Our younger three kids are all in to Taekwondo. We don't plan on having them ever become a punching bag for some bully. It has worked out well so far.
We always told our boys not to start a fight, but to certainly take care of themselves or their friends if someone else throws the first punch. They came home with a few black eyes, but our boys were tough and wiry and I imagine the other boy looked worse.
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Old 10-11-2017, 08:48 AM
 
Location: Living on the Coast in Oxnard CA
16,289 posts, read 32,264,084 times
Reputation: 21891
Quote:
Originally Posted by gouligann View Post
We always told our boys not to start a fight, but to certainly take care of themselves or their friends if someone else throws the first punch. They came home with a few black eyes, but our boys were tough and wiry and I imagine the other boy looked worse.
With the younger four we told them the same, never start a fight. With our kids taekwondo they teach the same thing. Never start a fight. Always tell the person to stop, and back up. If they start again tell them to stop and back up. The third time if they do it again to block their punch and move forward. If they continue we figure that the person had been warned plenty of times. Better to take care of something now then to let it continue on. If we ever hear of any of our kids starting a fight then that is a different story.
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Old 10-11-2017, 09:04 AM
 
Location: 53179
14,416 posts, read 22,422,735 times
Reputation: 14476
Quote:
Originally Posted by HighFlyingBird View Post
First I am leaning heavily towards MYOB. But was curious what others thought.

My son goes to a very small middle school. The school takes a different stance on bullying. They say "It happens" and work with the bully specifically on their behaviors with interventions that aren't always punishments (they have some specially trained staff that is able to do so). They also work to protect the kid being picked on, but we know most bullying is hidden from adults.

I agree with this, and it being a small school, its something they can deal with.

Last week I started hearing about a boy who was harassing and bullying my son and his friend. We talked about it and he didn't want me to get involved but we came up with strategies for dealing with him. This week it came to a boiling point and my son lost his temper and shoved the kid. My son told me this because he felt bad he had done it and knows pushing is wrong. I was surprised the school didn't call me so I decided to call before it got way out of hand and get the story from the teachers.

Turns out the boy isn't bullying my son because he stands up to him. The boy is bullying other kids and my son is stepping in and they didn't fault him for the altercation. They assured me they are working with the boy that is bothering other kids, but confirmed he is causing a lot of problems for several boy...but that they are dealing with it.

I reconnected with my son and he verified this. But he told me with concern that his best friend is being bullied by this kid and hasn't told his mom because he doesn't want to upset her. I am friendly with the mother and she mentioned her son had been bullied before. My son asked me to call her and tell her so maybe she can help her son. My son's best friend is a easy target because he gets upset easily and doesn't stand up for himself.

I am really learning toward minding my own business and letting the school and the boy handle it. I don't know the mom well enough to know what her reaction would be and the boy might be right not to tell her. But if it were me, I would REALLY want to know so I could hold the school accountable for protecting my son from emotional abuse.

Thoughts?
Didn't read any other answers to influence me, but I would want to know if my son was being picked on. If my son was worried about telling me, than I would appreciate if somebody else said something.
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