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Okay, this is what the boarding school alumni that I know have to say:
1. In my generation (people born in the late 1950s-early 60s), every American I know that attended a boarding school entered the boarding school at the age 14 (9th grade), and this boarding school was located in the US. Spending some time at a foreign school (eg, a Swiss or French school in my sample) was somewhat common among girls, but not the boys (eg, the woman I mentioned in connection with a future-princess classmate completed a boarding school in the US, then did not immediately go to college, but took a year off to go to a "finishing school" in Switzerland. This type of school, which she says doesn't actually exist any more, included mostly instruction in "leisure" subjects like social conversation, cooking and skiing, and the only "marketable" component of it was intense instruction in three languages).
2. In the generation of the above people's children (American-born in the 1980s-90s), almost everybody still went to boarding school at 14, in the US, with some kids spending a portion of time (eg, summers) at foreign schools. One couple had a temporary situation at home, when they were parents of a toddler and a second-grader, where they were forced to send the older kid to a boarding school on the West Coast, at the age of 8. When the situation resolved, a year later, the kid was so happy at the school that he did not want to leave it, so he continued boarding until he graduated from the last (12th) grade, and the parents sent the younger kid to the same school at the age of 8, since it worked out so well for the first one. So, both kids were there from the age 8 to 18, and both were very happy there (they particularly loved the mandatory phys ed requirement which consisted of regular hiking in the mountains).
3. Among Europeans of my generation that I know who went to boarding schools (who are mostly from the British Commonwealth), all but one of the men started the boarding school at the age of 6, mostly in Britain (one went to a Swiss school at that age). Among the women in this group, most went to boarding schools at 10, and again foreign (incl Swiss) schools were more represented than among boys.
4. Among the European children of group #3, most entered the boarding school at the age of 12 (both genders), generally in their country of origin (ie, generally Britain). One couple from group #3 that lives in Johannesburg had sent their children to a boarding school in Switzerland at the age of 7, and switched them to a boarding school in England at age 12. The reason for this is, as people tell me, that fewer and fewer schools offered boarding to small children already in the 1990s, and even fewer offer it now (small kids are more labor-intensive, and a higher legal liability probably).
My sample includes people who are towards the lower end of what one would consider the upper class, ie, none are in business, but in professions (actually mostly in the same field, medicine). All of them have hereditary wealth, and all of them are in a position to establish a trust fund for each of their children at birth, but these trust funds are probably not in excess of $1 to 2 million per child. I do not think anybody among my acquaintances mentioned in this post is ultra-rich (eg, with total assets exceeding $50 million), and the educational patterns among the ultra-rich are probably different (eg, maybe the ultra-rich Americans are more similar to ordinary-rich Europeans in that they might be sending their kids to boarding schools earlier - after all, there could be a concern of kidnapping if they sent them to a day school. But my acquaintance with that population is limited to having worked with one child of a billionaire, and I already mentioned what I know of that person's schooling - they went to boarding schools, I don't know since what age, but they were frequently absent from school, and had tutors to cover their education during those absences). Everyone in my sample (both generations, both genders, both Americans and Europeans) is normal, well-adjusted, and speaks fondly of their boarding schools, including those who went to a boarding school at 6 (and particularly those kids that were hiking for 10 years on the West Coast). The incidence of failure, drug addiction, or resenting parents for sending them to boarding schools, in my sample seems to be zero. I hope this helps the OP in making the decision.
Okay, this is what the boarding school alumni that I know have to say:
1. In my generation (people born in the late 1950s-early 60s), every American I know that attended a boarding school entered the boarding school at the age 14 (9th grade), and this boarding school was located in the US. Spending some time at a foreign school (eg, a Swiss or French school in my sample) was somewhat common among girls, but not the boys (eg, the woman I mentioned in connection with a future-princess classmate completed a boarding school in the US, then did not immediately go to college, but took a year off to go to a "finishing school" in Switzerland. This type of school, which she says doesn't actually exist any more, included mostly instruction in "leisure" subjects like social conversation, cooking and skiing, and the only "marketable" component of it was intense instruction in three languages).
2. In the generation of the above people's children (American-born in the 1980s-90s), almost everybody still went to boarding school at 14, in the US, with some kids spending a portion of time (eg, summers) at foreign schools. One couple had a temporary situation at home, when they were parents of a toddler and a second-grader, where they were forced to send the older kid to a boarding school on the West Coast, at the age of 8. When the situation resolved, a year later, the kid was so happy at the school that he did not want to leave it, so he continued boarding until he graduated from the last (12th) grade, and the parents sent the younger kid to the same school at the age of 8, since it worked out so well for the first one. So, both kids were there from the age 8 to 18, and both were very happy there (they particularly loved the mandatory phys ed requirement which consisted of regular hiking in the mountains).
3. Among Europeans of my generation that I know who went to boarding schools (who are mostly from the British Commonwealth), all but one of the men started the boarding school at the age of 6, mostly in Britain (one went to a Swiss school at that age). Among the women in this group, most went to boarding schools at 10, and again foreign (incl Swiss) schools were more represented than among boys.
4. Among the European children of group #3, most entered the boarding school at the age of 12 (both genders), generally in their country of origin (ie, generally Britain). One couple from group #3 that lives in Johannesburg had sent their children to a boarding school in Switzerland at the age of 7, and switched them to a boarding school in England at age 12. The reason for this is, as people tell me, that fewer and fewer schools offered boarding to small children already in the 1990s, and even fewer offer it now (small kids are more labor-intensive, and a higher legal liability probably).
My sample includes people who are towards the lower end of what one would consider the upper class, ie, none are in business, but in professions (actually mostly in the same field, medicine). All of them have hereditary wealth, and all of them are in a position to establish a trust fund for each of their children at birth, but these trust funds are probably not in excess of $1 to 2 million per child. I do not think anybody among my acquaintances mentioned in this post is ultra-rich (eg, with total assets exceeding $50 million), and the educational patterns among the ultra-rich are probably different (eg, maybe the ultra-rich Americans are more similar to ordinary-rich Europeans in that they might be sending their kids to boarding schools earlier - after all, there could be a concern of kidnapping if they sent them to a day school. But my acquaintance with that population is limited to having worked with one child of a billionaire, and I already mentioned what I know of that person's schooling - they went to boarding schools, I don't know since what age, but they were frequently absent from school, and had tutors to cover their education during those absences). Everyone in my sample (both generations, both genders, both Americans and Europeans) is normal, well-adjusted, and speaks fondly of their boarding schools, including those who went to a boarding school at 6 (and particularly those kids that were hiking for 10 years on the West Coast). The incidence of failure, drug addiction, or resenting parents for sending them to boarding schools, in my sample seems to be zero. I hope this helps the OP in making the decision.
Thanks for your research elnrgby. According to your research, the average child went away to boarding school around the age of 12, which is a more realistic age IMHO than 7.
People I know who went to boarding schools at 6 are just as happy with that as those who went to boarding schools at 14. The only reason why my European acquaintances (except the one in South Africa) did not manage to get their own kids into boarding schools that early is that relatively few boarding schools have still been admitting very young children in the past 25 years, and these are extremely competitive. My acquaintances were outcompeted in whatever decision process the few remaining schools use to admit a small number of kids as boarders from the first grade. The majority of British kids entered the boarding schools at 12 in the 1990s-2000s because that was the only option, not because either the parents or the kids wanted it.
Okay, this is what the boarding school alumni that I know have to say:
1. In my generation (people born in the late 1950s-early 60s), every American I know that attended a boarding school entered the boarding school at the age 14 (9th grade), and this boarding school was located in the US. Spending some time at a foreign school (eg, a Swiss or French school in my sample) was somewhat common among girls, but not the boys (eg, the woman I mentioned in connection with a future-princess classmate completed a boarding school in the US, then did not immediately go to college, but took a year off to go to a "finishing school" in Switzerland. This type of school, which she says doesn't actually exist any more, included mostly instruction in "leisure" subjects like social conversation, cooking and skiing, and the only "marketable" component of it was intense instruction in three languages).
2. In the generation of the above people's children (American-born in the 1980s-90s), almost everybody still went to boarding school at 14, in the US, with some kids spending a portion of time (eg, summers) at foreign schools. One couple had a temporary situation at home, when they were parents of a toddler and a second-grader, where they were forced to send the older kid to a boarding school on the West Coast, at the age of 8. When the situation resolved, a year later, the kid was so happy at the school that he did not want to leave it, so he continued boarding until he graduated from the last (12th) grade, and the parents sent the younger kid to the same school at the age of 8, since it worked out so well for the first one. So, both kids were there from the age 8 to 18, and both were very happy there (they particularly loved the mandatory phys ed requirement which consisted of regular hiking in the mountains).
3. Among Europeans of my generation that I know who went to boarding schools (who are mostly from the British Commonwealth), all but one of the men started the boarding school at the age of 6, mostly in Britain (one went to a Swiss school at that age). Among the women in this group, most went to boarding schools at 10, and again foreign (incl Swiss) schools were more represented than among boys.
4. Among the European children of group #3, most entered the boarding school at the age of 12 (both genders), generally in their country of origin (ie, generally Britain). One couple from group #3 that lives in Johannesburg had sent their children to a boarding school in Switzerland at the age of 7, and switched them to a boarding school in England at age 12. The reason for this is, as people tell me, that fewer and fewer schools offered boarding to small children already in the 1990s, and even fewer offer it now (small kids are more labor-intensive, and a higher legal liability probably).
My sample includes people who are towards the lower end of what one would consider the upper class, ie, none are in business, but in professions (actually mostly in the same field, medicine). All of them have hereditary wealth, and all of them are in a position to establish a trust fund for each of their children at birth, but these trust funds are probably not in excess of $1 to 2 million per child. I do not think anybody among my acquaintances mentioned in this post is ultra-rich (eg, with total assets exceeding $50 million), and the educational patterns among the ultra-rich are probably different (eg, maybe the ultra-rich Americans are more similar to ordinary-rich Europeans in that they might be sending their kids to boarding schools earlier - after all, there could be a concern of kidnapping if they sent them to a day school. But my acquaintance with that population is limited to having worked with one child of a billionaire, and I already mentioned what I know of that person's schooling - they went to boarding schools, I don't know since what age, but they were frequently absent from school, and had tutors to cover their education during those absences). Everyone in my sample (both generations, both genders, both Americans and Europeans) is normal, well-adjusted, and speaks fondly of their boarding schools, including those who went to a boarding school at 6 (and particularly those kids that were hiking for 10 years on the West Coast). The incidence of failure, drug addiction, or resenting parents for sending them to boarding schools, in my sample seems to be zero. I hope this helps the OP in making the decision.
I find it quite interesting that in your first two examples above people felt the need to send their children away to get the types of experiences that most American children receive through living day to day with their families, families which converse socially on a daily basis, cook meals together and take recreational trips, such as ski trips on a regular basis, particularly those in the upper socio-economic groups. These are the same people within healthy family groups who share educational and recreational experiences with their own children, experiences the children themselves have shown an interest in. Some learn French or Mandarin, some learn the cello or (shudder) the guitar, some learn programming or watercolor technique and they do it on a daily basis as a family unit, not as being force fed by high priced babysitters.
What does it matter whether they have "hereditary wealth" or have hard working families that have the satisfaction of having attained a certain comfort through their own endeavors? Does that in some way make them lesser individuals? Quite the contrary, I'd expect. Who cares the value of a child's trust fund when it comes to making educational choices? It is truly remarkable with the expensive, exclusive schooling your sample has experienced that none are familiar with any of those silver spooners who have used those spoons to shovel cocaine and cook their heroin. Perhaps the income generated by those tossed aside children is so great that the educational system it supports has become very good at shielding their failures from the vision of even their own insiders until the results are egregious or tragic enough to make the nightly news.
Okay, this is what the boarding school alumni that I know have to say:
1. In my generation (people born in the late 1950s-early 60s), every American I know that attended a boarding school entered the boarding school at the age 14 (9th grade), and this boarding school was located in the US. Spending some time at a foreign school (eg, a Swiss or French school in my sample) was somewhat common among girls, but not the boys (eg, the woman I mentioned in connection with a future-princess classmate completed a boarding school in the US, then did not immediately go to college, but took a year off to go to a "finishing school" in Switzerland. This type of school, which she says doesn't actually exist any more, included mostly instruction in "leisure" subjects like social conversation, cooking and skiing, and the only "marketable" component of it was intense instruction in three languages).
2. In the generation of the above people's children (American-born in the 1980s-90s), almost everybody still went to boarding school at 14, in the US, with some kids spending a portion of time (eg, summers) at foreign schools. One couple had a temporary situation at home, when they were parents of a toddler and a second-grader, where they were forced to send the older kid to a boarding school on the West Coast, at the age of 8. When the situation resolved, a year later, the kid was so happy at the school that he did not want to leave it, so he continued boarding until he graduated from the last (12th) grade, and the parents sent the younger kid to the same school at the age of 8, since it worked out so well for the first one. So, both kids were there from the age 8 to 18, and both were very happy there (they particularly loved the mandatory phys ed requirement which consisted of regular hiking in the mountains).
3. Among Europeans of my generation that I know who went to boarding schools (who are mostly from the British Commonwealth), all but one of the men started the boarding school at the age of 6, mostly in Britain (one went to a Swiss school at that age). Among the women in this group, most went to boarding schools at 10, and again foreign (incl Swiss) schools were more represented than among boys.
4. Among the European children of group #3, most entered the boarding school at the age of 12 (both genders), generally in their country of origin (ie, generally Britain). One couple from group #3 that lives in Johannesburg had sent their children to a boarding school in Switzerland at the age of 7, and switched them to a boarding school in England at age 12. The reason for this is, as people tell me, that fewer and fewer schools offered boarding to small children already in the 1990s, and even fewer offer it now (small kids are more labor-intensive, and a higher legal liability probably).
My sample includes people who are towards the lower end of what one would consider the upper class, ie, none are in business, but in professions (actually mostly in the same field, medicine). All of them have hereditary wealth, and all of them are in a position to establish a trust fund for each of their children at birth, but these trust funds are probably not in excess of $1 to 2 million per child. I do not think anybody among my acquaintances mentioned in this post is ultra-rich (eg, with total assets exceeding $50 million), and the educational patterns among the ultra-rich are probably different (eg, maybe the ultra-rich Americans are more similar to ordinary-rich Europeans in that they might be sending their kids to boarding schools earlier - after all, there could be a concern of kidnapping if they sent them to a day school. But my acquaintance with that population is limited to having worked with one child of a billionaire, and I already mentioned what I know of that person's schooling - they went to boarding schools, I don't know since what age, but they were frequently absent from school, and had tutors to cover their education during those absences). Everyone in my sample (both generations, both genders, both Americans and Europeans) is normal, well-adjusted, and speaks fondly of their boarding schools, including those who went to a boarding school at 6 (and particularly those kids that were hiking for 10 years on the West Coast). The incidence of failure, drug addiction, or resenting parents for sending them to boarding schools, in my sample seems to be zero. I hope this helps the OP in making the decision.
This was fascinating to read. I've never known anyone who went away to boarding school. When I was a child, I desperately wanted to go away to school but I was from a lower middle class family so that was a pipe dream.
I do see value in these types of schools. If we could afford to do so, I would send my children. There is an excellent private school in our region which serves local, national and international students. We tried to get a scholarship for my older son there several times but its highly competitive (and rightfully so).
People I know who went to boarding schools at 6 are just as happy with that as those who went to boarding schools at 14. The only reason why my European acquaintances (except the one in South Africa) did not manage to get their own kids into boarding schools that early is that relatively few boarding schools have still been admitting very young children in the past 25 years, and these are extremely competitive. My acquaintances were outcompeted in whatever decision process the few remaining schools use to admit a small number of kids as boarders from the first grade. The majority of British kids entered the boarding schools at 12 in the 1990s-2000s because that was the only option, not because either the parents or the kids wanted it.
What I find interesting is that you are advocating quite hard for boarding school education, yet you have no children! I wouldn’t take advise from anyone (except maybe a medical doctor) who doesn’t have children. There’s no way for you to truly understand s mothers bond.
What I find interesting is that you are advocating quite hard for boarding school education, yet you have no children! I wouldn’t take advise from anyone (except maybe a medical doctor) who doesn’t have children. There’s no way for you to truly understand s mothers bond.
Or the needs and actual maturity level of different ages. On another message people are talking about an 8 year old like they are 17. A lot of people don't know or don't remember what different ages actually look like. And people keep downplaying the role parents have in their kid's lives (even as teens!).
I find it quite interesting that in your first two examples above people felt the need to send their children away to get the types of experiences that most American children receive through living day to day with their families, families which converse socially on a daily basis, cook meals together and take recreational trips, such as ski trips on a regular basis, particularly those in the upper socio-economic groups. These are the same people within healthy family groups who share educational and recreational experiences with their own children, experiences the children themselves have shown an interest in. Some learn French or Mandarin, some learn the cello or (shudder) the guitar, some learn programming or watercolor technique and they do it on a daily basis as a family unit, not as being force fed by high priced babysitters.
What does it matter whether they have "hereditary wealth" or have hard working families that have the satisfaction of having attained a certain comfort through their own endeavors? Does that in some way make them lesser individuals? Quite the contrary, I'd expect. Who cares the value of a child's trust fund when it comes to making educational choices? It is truly remarkable with the expensive, exclusive schooling your sample has experienced that none are familiar with any of those silver spooners who have used those spoons to shovel cocaine and cook their heroin. Perhaps the income generated by those tossed aside children is so great that the educational system it supports has become very good at shielding their failures from the vision of even their own insiders until the results are egregious or tragic enough to make the nightly news.
Discussions on this forum have a way of starting to run in circles. Please refer to Lieneke's post about drug testing in Swiss boarding schools and general absence of drugs in that environment. I feel I said everything I knew about the subject of boarding schools, so will sign off from this topic after the last couple of posts.
Families with generational privilege should emphasize the responsibility of their children to give back to society - more about tradition than pressure.
Yes, that is the whole point. I am sure your son will find some creative and original way to employ his athleticism & leadership skills as well. Other than teaching that "noblesse oblige", boarding schools are particularly good at nurturing individual, original approaches to problem-solving in all fields of endeavor (something that is highly valued by admission committees at Ivy League colleges).
This was fascinating to read. I've never known anyone who went away to boarding school. When I was a child, I desperately wanted to go away to school but I was from a lower middle class family so that was a pipe dream.
I do see value in these types of schools. If we could afford to do so, I would send my children. There is an excellent private school in our region which serves local, national and international students. We tried to get a scholarship for my older son there several times but its highly competitive (and rightfully so).
There is a British series of documentaries called The Up Series, following a group of kids born in 1957 (approximately my generation), starting at the age of 7 (the first documentary filmed in 1964 was called Seven Up!, then they interviewed the same people as kids and then adults every 7 years). The idea was to find representative children from different British social classes and see how the social class influences growing up. The most recent sequel so far is 56 Up, but the very first film in the series is particularly pertinent to this forum topic, because it shows 7 year old kids including upper class boarding school students. If you have not seen these documentaries, I think you would enjoy them (the DVDs can be found in any public library).
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