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What I find interesting is that you are advocating quite hard for boarding school education, yet you have no children! I wouldn’t take advise from anyone (except maybe a medical doctor) who doesn’t have children. There’s no way for you to truly understand s mothers bond.
Almost everybody in my sample is a medical doctor, at least one spouse in each of the couples mentioned above (so I find it interesting that you can't guess my profession too ), but I am not sure what would being a medical doctor have to do with giving a non-medical advice. And what do you think female surgeons (such as some in my sample) do with their kids, bring them to the operating room to bond with them during 36 hour long stretches of being on call? These kids are either with the nannies or at schools, they hardly ever see their parents, yet the family bonds are very strong - go figure.
Almost everybody in my sample is a medical doctor, at least one spouse in each of the couples mentioned above (so I find it interesting that you can't guess my profession too ), but I am not sure what would being a medical doctor have to do with giving a non-medical advice. And what do you think female surgeons (such as some in my sample) do with their kids, bring them to the operating room to bond with them during 36 hour long stretches of being on call? These kids are either with the nannies or at schools, they hardly ever see their parents, yet the family bonds are very strong - go figure.
You completely missed my point! I said I would not take advice regarding my children from anyone who didn't have any (such as you) unless it was regarding medical advice from a medical doctor. You were not giving medical advice on a medical matter so I think your advice is more opinion than fact. In regards to your colleagues who are doctors that leave their children for days on end with nannies, I also think that's not good for the child, but again just my opinion. I've stated this before, the OP asked for advice on the matter and I have done so as one who's a mother.
I also agree that this thread has run it's course. Many opinions here and only the OP can determine what is right for their family.
There is a British series of documentaries called The Up Series, following a group of kids born in 1957 (approximately my generation), starting at the age of 7 (the first documentary filmed in 1964 was called Seven Up!, then they interviewed the same people as kids and then adults every 7 years). The idea was to find representative children from different British social classes and see how the social class influences growing up. The most recent sequel so far is 56 Up, but the very first film in the series is particularly pertinent to this forum topic, because it shows 7 year old kids including upper class boarding school students. If you have not seen these documentaries, I think you would enjoy them (the DVDs can be found in any public library).
You're welcome, am sure you'll like the documentaries. Glad we see things the same way, and best of success to your kids in whatever method of schooling they ultimately pursue!
He is 7 years old. My brother, who has a son who is studying at one of the best boarding schools in Switzerland, has sent me some recommendations. I think he's still very young,but I want to send him to the beginning of the school year. what do you think about that ?
What do I think about that????
I think it's very saaaad for the young child to be sent away. I couldn't trust strangers (no matter how highly recommended) to have control over and rule my young sons life......no way!
For no reason....tradition or otherwise...my son would mean more to me than that.
I too went to boarding schools as a child. From age 11(Actually 10, turned 11 at school) until I graduated high school. None were in the US so i was the kid your child would be, only older. I STRONGLY recommend waiting until your child is at least 14 to send them away and even then, expect it to be difficult for them. I cannot begin to describe how isolating it is to be away from home constantly, or the level of homesickness your child will be hit with about a week in. Or the fact that those teachers you are leaving your kid with are not all loving, sympathetic and kind etc. At some point, your friends/ schoolmates become your family. Your family becomes a bunch of strangers you know little about but have to visit every three months or so.
Your relationship with your child will be irreparably changed unless you somehow make it your job to stay in contant contact; but most boarding schools will not allow that because it causes homesickness. I’m not estranged from my family, but I definitely feel like a stranger among them most days and i’m okay with that. I feel no need to impress them or live up to their expectations. They lack that influence over me. In a lot of ways i’m an island as are most people whom as kids went away to anywhere that long; some call it independence but it’s a survival tactic, an adaptation.
And at 7?
I had to mentor/ help take care of younger kids at school (youngest allowed being 9) and even at 14, I always told the parents that the kids were ‘too young for this place’ when they asked me how their child was doing. Some listened. Many didn't. It took many of the little ones a couple of school years to fully adjust. They would do fine until we had a school break and we’d have to start over with weeks of retraining and dealing with homesickness etc. No, the teachers wouldn’t put up with it past the first week and it became something to avoid being known for. Being ‘the crybaby’ is not a reputation you want in boarding school so many suffered silently but would show other symptoms; bedwetting, nightmares, collecting weird things etc, for at least the first few weeks. Three times a year, for two or three years on average, depending on how young they were.
And thats not to say that us older kids didn’t have the same issues, we just handled it better. Also we stayed busy and always had something else to occupy our time. Parents always said that we were ‘happy’ there but honestly what did they know? We weren’t happy, were were at home. School was home, home was a vacation. The roles had changed; it didn't matter whether we were happy or not at school but we were home. And we were close to our friends who were now our family. Our parents interpreted that as happiness. Okay. The older you got the easier it became and by high school we typically knew the deal, learned not to get too comfortable at ‘home’ lest we had a hard time adjusting when we got back home. We all love/miss our vacations but are always glad to get back home. Thats how it was.
Think about it very, very hard. Your child IS too young for that.
Last edited by BLDSoon; 12-04-2017 at 09:35 AM..
Reason: Correction
I too went to boarding schools as a child. From age 11(Actually 10, turned 11 at school) until I graduated high school. None were in the US so i was the kid your child would be, only older. I STRONGLY recommend waiting until your child is at least 14 to send them away and even then, expect it to be difficult for them. I cannot begin to describe how isolating it is to be away from home constantly, or the level of homesickness your child will be hit with about a week in. Or the fact that those teachers you are leaving your kid with are not all loving, sympathetic and kind etc. At some point, your friends/ schoolmates become your family. Your family becomes a bunch of strangers you know little about but have to visit every three months or so.
A friend of mine is examining such a situation as this right now with her high-school freshman son. She's a single mother, and money is tight. She managed to squeak into an apartment in an area of her city where the schools are decent (but could still be a lot better.)
Apparently, her son is in the running for a partial scholarship (enough of the costs would be covered by this to where she could afford the rest) to a well-acclaimed boarding school three hours away from where they live. She's torn between "It'd be a great opportunity for him!" and "I'd miss him." Granted, it'll be a bit before they know, and it's not as she'll have to pack him up immediately and send him off within 24 hours of finding out. But she's well aware that visits home won't happen often, as she occasionally works side jobs on the weekends to bring in extra money, and a six-hour round trip would cut into that (plus the gas money and wear and tear on her car.)
But she's also figuring it's an academic opportunity that could help him get ahead in life (I know she worries about his future where they are now), so I think she's leaning more towards it.
A friend of mine is examining such a situation as this right now with her high-school freshman son. She's a single mother, and money is tight. She managed to squeak into an apartment in an area of her city where the schools are decent (but could still be a lot better.)
Apparently, her son is in the running for a partial scholarship (enough of the costs would be covered by this to where she could afford the rest) to a well-acclaimed boarding school three hours away from where they live. She's torn between "It'd be a great opportunity for him!" and "I'd miss him." Granted, it'll be a bit before they know, and it's not as she'll have to pack him up immediately and send him off within 24 hours of finding out. But she's well aware that visits home won't happen often, as she occasionally works side jobs on the weekends to bring in extra money, and a six-hour round trip would cut into that (plus the gas money and wear and tear on her car.)
But she's also figuring it's an academic opportunity that could help him get ahead in life (I know she worries about his future where they are now), so I think she's leaning more towards it.
He’s at an age where he would be better able to understand the ‘why’ so it wouldn’t be as bad as it is for a much younger child as the OP’s. In his case its 4 years vs a decade of childhood or more for the OP.
My opinion, from experience, is that high school is the ideal time to attend boarding school for all the reasons i stated previously. There will be some homesickness etc but he will also be in a better position to handle it.
Obviously there are and always will be people that will send their kids much earlier. So that’s that.
I would not do it before High School. Put it in the back of your mind for now, and raise your son. Then, in 8th grade, think about whether he wants to apply to a boarding school for high school. They can be great, but only for kids that really can handle it. And I wouldn't send him all the way to Switzerland when there are probably closer schools that are good.
For now, put him in a good private day school. That offers the best education plus he will be with his family while he is growing.
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), but I am not sure what would being a medical doctor have to do with giving a non-medical advice. And what do you think female surgeons (such as some in my sample) do with their kids, bring them to the operating room to bond with them during 36 hour long stretches of being on call? These kids are either with the nannies or at schools, they hardly ever see their parents, yet the family bonds are very strong - go figure.
