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Bring your son to party and talk to parents otherwise this is going to drive you crazy.... I still think it's the girl who made up that questionnaire. Signed with pet name..... In different writing, she could have had a girlfriends help with different writing. With the attitude you encountered with her she thinks she is smarter than everyone else. She doesn't want you to speak with her parents because they didn't send questionnaire.
That's my suspicion anyway. Maybe you were not given parents phone number. Like I said earlier, teen girls can be devious.
FYI most parents of sons care too. We aren't arming them with condoms and slapping them on the back to be on their merry way to mess with as many girls as possible.
As a matter of fact, I've already told my sons to be very careful with the girls they get involved with for several reasons. Among them:
1. Girls can be petty and vindictive. Know the girl you are talking to well before making a serious commitment to her. Some girls will use situations and statements to their own advantage later on down the road - and to the boys' detriment.
2. Make DAMN sure everything you do with the girl is affirmed by a clear, concise YES. And even then, WAIT. Wait until you really know the girl well before making a move that could cost them their entire lives.
3. Girls can be quite pushy about sex. Don't let them push you into something you're not ready for. No, boys who wait are not less of a man, a wuss, etc. if they choose to wait. They are smart and deliberate in their lives. A good thing.
4. If a girl plays mind games with you like flirting with other boys, getting angry about stupid things...drop her like a hot potato.
As far as getting to know a potential girlfriend and her family goes... Yes, of course I want to know the girls my sons date. But I don't need to know if they've already been sexually active. That's for my sons to know, not me. I don't need to grill her like an FBI agent either. Living in a small community, we know many of the families around her anyway. So it wouldn't be too hard to ask a few questions here and there to people who may know her. "My son is dating Elizabeth. Do you know her?" Easy peasy.
It would just be great if parents of girls realize their children have just as much responsibility to be a decent person as boys do. I think many girl parents forget this.
Agreed. I have 2 boys and a girl. All teen or older.
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No need to involve the school. They have enough to deal with.
Show up at their house, I guess. Tell them you want their daughter to fill out a copy of the same application. Or send them a certified letter LOLOL.
Those questions are inexcusable. I cannot believe the gall of these people.
But really your priority is teaching your son that he needs to recognize when someone is being inappropriate with him.
Is there any chance the parents don't even know anything about this? That the daughter composed it and is pretending it's from her parents?
I am having a VERY hard time believing any adult would think this is in any way OK.
And how did she already have a pet name for him if he didn't actually have permission to date her yet??? All this is so weird. I think somebody's lying.
Info from long talk with my son about just that; the inappropriateness of bypassing his parents to get personal information about him and dangling their daughter in front of him as pressure.
--The parents approached my son this week during student pickup after school ( after they had the application) and "apologized for having to ask him to do it but that they were only protecting their daughter", and the bio father who was present said "nice to meet you".
--AFTER my son asked Jackie for her parents contact info. for us, her response was " tell your mom , my mom said she can call her anytime"
((however we have been ringing the numbers we were given and no response.))
--background from my son about this girl and boyfriends , "she had a bad experience last year dating someone who is currently attending the same school and is on one of the sports teams."
--told my son he can "date" her at school if that is what they consider exclusive friendships these days BUT no contact outside of M-Friday 8-3:00. Also told him he did not have permission from us and would nt have if he asked in advance anyway, to have a girlfriend in the sense that he was setting this up with her to include weekends and after school hours. Group get together s would be fine with our permission.
We are all about up front - in the open- we talk about anything around here- and especially hold ourselves and others accountable for their own behavior. Same standards all around.
This family now has our home telephone number. Why havn t they called US ?
Yes. Same here. My daughter did nt find anyone she was interested in to date until her first year out of HIgh School.. Just a big group of friends that hung out together and parents knew each other here and there from around campus activities. They are still friends.
Questions : He was asked for our home phone number, his email address, his physical stats , his religion, does he smoke, is he a virgin, has he ever cheated on a girlfriend in the past , what grade is he in....
Short answer:
Why should I pick you as my boyfriend....?
What would be an ideal date with me .....?
Why do you want to date me ...?
I m getting upset reliving this.
My husband is going to call tomorrow morning and that will be the third strike if they dont respond.
So what then ?
Should I bring it to school attention ?
It was delivered etc took place during school hours ....
I would bring it to the attention of the school. Absolutely.
I would bring it to the attention of the school. Absolutely.
All along I have said to leave the school out of it, but since the parents approached him during dismissal you COULD make a case for telling the guidance counselor.
IDK I don't really know what the school could do though.
Info from long talk with my son about just that; the inappropriateness of bypassing his parents to get personal information about him and dangling their daughter in front of him as pressure.
--The parents approached my son this week during student pickup after school ( after they had the application) and "apologized for having to ask him to do it but that they were only protecting their daughter", and the bio father who was present said "nice to meet you".
--AFTER my son asked Jackie for her parents contact info. for us, her response was " tell your mom , my mom said she can call her anytime"
((however we have been ringing the numbers we were given and no response.))
--background from my son about this girl and boyfriends , "she had a bad experience last year dating someone who is currently attending the same school and is on one of the sports teams."
--told my son he can "date" her at school if that is what they consider exclusive friendships these days BUT no contact outside of M-Friday 8-3:00. Also told him he did not have permission from us and would nt have if he asked in advance anyway, to have a girlfriend in the sense that he was setting this up with her to include weekends and after school hours. Group get together s would be fine with our permission.
We are all about up front - in the open- we talk about anything around here- and especially hold ourselves and others accountable for their own behavior. Same standards all around.
This family now has our home telephone number. Why havn t they called US ?
How old is your son?
From the content of your post, it sounded around 15-16 years old, but if they can have no outside contact after 300 PM, he sounds like he is 10-11 years old.
But most organized sports teams do not start until high school.
So I saw a bunch of people reacted negatively to this post, but I have a different point of view.
A) If the person you admired the most sent you a similar application and asked you to fill out an application to be friends, would you do it?
Of course you would.
No I wouldn't.
Quote:
Originally Posted by zesty2
I feel like people here are laughing at this application because they automatically assume the girl is stupid.
Either the girl is stupid, the parents are hyper helicopter parents, and/or this is a poorly executed joke.
Quote:
Originally Posted by zesty2
B) Isn't it good that they want to set expectations for their relationship?
Having it in writing is better because then they cannot pretend later that they never said that because both sides will have a copy.
Yes. But you don't treat a potential relationship like renting a car or a business partnership. Most grown adults know that. Having it in writing is creepy as hell. It's weird.
Quote:
Originally Posted by zesty2
C) If the girl expects the guy to fill out the application, she should also be willing to fill out that or a similar application.
Neither should fill out an application to date. Totally over the top and smacks of old world arranged marriages. No thanks.
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Totally over the top and smacks of old world arranged marriages. No thanks.