Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
A three month relationship usually is nt considered closest friends and family.
Surely though there is some time over the Holidays to enjoy all friends , casual and even co workers if you re one to open your home during the holidays. We have a small house so we usually do such things in "shifts" .
Kid time is different than adult time. Three months in teen world is a LONG time.
I'm not giving into someone because they pout. Way to show you have no authority.
"Mom! Can I have a new car?" "No!"
***Pouts***
"OK, you can have a new car!"
Exactly. Pouting, sulking, and other manipulative "techniques" are guaranteed to produce negative results with me every time.
My children learned this at an early age. There were no battles at Christmas or at any other time. We "wanted" to be together - and still do.
Their is nothing more disturbing than watching adults contort themselves into pretzels to please a pouty, controlling pre-teen. Children raised like that are never happy or secure.
For the record, my home was always THE hangout spot for teenagers. Many were refugees from parents who were too self involved - which translates into lenient, as far as the kid is concerned.
Children who are free-ranged and catered to - because the parents are just too damn (may I sy "damn" - I guess I'll find out) lazy to ever say "no".
The whole point is that if a 15 year old - a young teenager- can not spend one day away from peers, weather love interests or not - there is something wrong.
Kids do meet life partners in high school. I come from a small town, and I knew parents who actually PUSHED for it, so that their children would attend local colleges and stay in our town or one of the surrounding towns. The parents pushed it, ultimately, out of selfishness.
Of the twelve couples who I knew who married their high school sweethearts, all are divorced but one. Most never finished their educations - whether college or trades school and a many settled for lesser careers - one friend threw away a scholarship to Boston University School of nursing (now defunct) and settled for a local practical nursing program. Her husband gave up a slot at a few well regarded upstate NY ( RPI, Clarkson Institute of Technology, and RPI), instead attending NYIT and obtaining an associate degree in drafting. They are divorced also.
Not really blackmail, more just the way life goes. I will say that when we lived in the same state as our parents, we spent substantially more time with one set than with the other. There was a reason for that. I think making the effort to foster a good relationship with your teens and respect their independence will help your relationship with them once they’re an adult. Insisting on having your own way all of the time will not.
If all it would take for your kid to decide to never spend another Christmas with you because you wouldn't allow their 12 year old SO to spend time with them at Christmas at 15, something is wrong. It's possible that at 18, the young adult would understand the mom's decision. (I know she has decided otherwise, just sayin'.) As Mark Twain said: “When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.”
Quote:
Originally Posted by Magritte25
I did and I answered it in the general nature in which it was presented. OP should have explained herself better if she wanted more detailed answers.
No, you didn't read it all if you think this is a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship.
Quote:
Originally Posted by AnotherTouchOfWhimsy
I'm glad you came around. I'm sure your son is glad, too! I hope the boy behaves and that you have an enjoyable Christmas.
I've decided he can come over for a few hours.
I am clearly growing soft in my old age but on account of his recent normal behavior and my son's advocating for him I am willing to take the risk.
There will be plenty of adults around who I can trust to keep an eye on them and my MIL is partial to skinny blonde children so she'll be very happy to have one to fuss over!
I’m hoping the answer will be no.
My teenager is 15 and has been asking to do this which I just find odd.
She needs to spend it with her own family. Unless you want to change your celebration to Christmas Eve so she can participate in both. And vice versa regarding him. That would be nice. Of course this means not spending the night
Unfortunately we are still waiting that “relationship” out. I’m sure my disapproval has just added more fuel to the fire but I don’t see it lasting much longer. I think a few hours over Christmas may not be the worst thing ever but I certainly won’t consider more time than that.
And why would your 15 year old allow this micro-managing of her persons?
Is this a gay relationship?
And why would your 15 year old allow this micro-managing of her persons? this is almost neurotic
Be real
He is my son. I’m sorry my opening post is so vague. He is currently “in love” with a very troubled boy. He allows my managing because he must. It is my duty to protect him. Allowing him a few hours is a big compromise on my side.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
