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Our children also had no problems traveling without us, they made annual trips to out of state relatives, accompanied friends families on vacation etc. They also attended sleep away camp for 2 weeks at a time for several summers, usually the last two weeks in July it broke up the summer vacation for them. Spending time away from your children doesn't make you a bad person it's healthy for all concerned, we were dedicated parents but we weren't only parents we were also people in our own right.
Our children also had no problems traveling without us, they made annual trips to out of state relatives, accompanied friends families on vacation etc. They also attended sleep away camp for 2 weeks at a time for several summers, usually the last two weeks in July it broke up the summer vacation for them. Spending time away from your children doesn't make you a bad person it's healthy for all concerned, we were dedicated parents but we weren't only parents we were also people in our own right.
I don't think its just "spending time away from your kids"...there just seems to be a lot more to this specific story.
Age
No family to watch the child
staying with "friends"
the length of the trip
the long distance destination
All these could be really hard for a kid...if the kid was staying with a close family member it would make sense. Maybe if it were shorter. But going to romp around for 3 weeks without your kid who is pretty young to be without a parent...its just different. Of course it depends on the kid. But mine would be heart broken if I was gone that long...and I would miss my kids.
I have only left them (with their dad) for a week. I really enjoyed my free time but was so happy to be back with them. A week was more then enough. Mine wasn't to party, but I got some nice free time. I would go for a weekend to "party" but no more then that. I would feel guilty.
When our kids were younger, we would alternate years. One year we'd vacation with kids, the next year we would not. Next year, with kids. Next year, not with kids. Now that they are older, we only vacation with the kids.
I would never leave my kids with friends for three weeks, but I would be okay with leaving them in my parents' care or my sister's family. If I was a single parent and my ex was responsible, I'd ask him to take them while I go on vacation, with the expectation that I'd do the same for him if the opportunity arose.
I don't think its just "spending time away from your kids"...there just seems to be a lot more to this specific story.
Age
No family to watch the child
staying with "friends"
the length of the trip
the long distance destination
All these could be really hard for a kid...if the kid was staying with a close family member it would make sense. Maybe if it were shorter. But going to romp around for 3 weeks without your kid who is pretty young to be without a parent...its just different. Of course it depends on the kid. But mine would be heart broken if I was gone that long...and I would miss my kids.
I have only left them (with their dad) for a week. I really enjoyed my free time but was so happy to be back with them. A week was more then enough. Mine wasn't to party, but I got some nice free time. I would go for a weekend to "party" but no more then that. I would feel guilty.
In my first post I said that three weeks would be to long for me, my recent post was more in response to the posts that said if you leave your child for 3 weeks you shouldn't be a parent. We dont know enough about this mom or child to say what kind of parent she is. My husband and I tried to foster age appropriate independence which included us taking vacations without them and them going places without us. We were fortunate that while we didn't live close to our families, we could fly them to us but for some people that just isn't an option for various reasons. I do agree with your earlier post that asking someone to watch your child for 3 weeks is asking a lot of them. Our kids were perfectly fine and happy to have the grandparents spoil them rotten and allow all kinds of things that were normally off limits. Like you said to each their own.
Rarely. If we take time off, we generally wanted to spend the time with the kids. Even as young adults, they make life more fun. Young or old, if we want some time alone we just tell them to go away. (We used to say "Mommy is closed" an hour later they may come by and say "is mommy open yet?" It was always Mommy, they knew better than to come to me with frivolous complaints or requests. They also knew they could come to either of us an sya this is an emergency. But sometimes "emergency" was "***ie will not let me change the channel and I already saw this show." or "*** has a poopy diaper").
I sometimes forget there are people who take multiple 2-3 week long vacations per year and several long weekends away with their spouse or themselves. The idea of leaving home that much is incredible to me (in the original sense of the word).
I can't imagine why any parent would WANT to leave their young child for that long. Doesn't she like her son? Three weeks to party is a lot different than 3 days with a spouse at a romantic resort or whatever.
Also, to those people who DO vacation like the first paragraph and who have said that NOT going on vacation or getting away from your children would make you insane or is not good for the child, that's as ridiculous as thinking the child will be emotionally scarred forever after 3 weeks with a caring family.
I haven't been away from my kids for one night since they were born and no one is insane.
Short trips, 1 week tops when the kids were young. With our trusted older babysitter/her two girls who were babysitting age, and her husband who was great with our two boys, YES, BUT... For 3 weeks? NOPE.
If she wants to go with the girls, why not go for 1 week, 10 days or 2 weeks tops, and fly back home alone?
Leaving kids with a trusted family, yes, as long as they are a GOOD family.
A GOOD family can sometimes be more trustworthy than actual blood family IMO.
I’ll also chime in to say I think that having to travel for work makes you more willing to leave your children with a family member or close friend. I could see having separation issues if I didn’t work and take business trips several times a year but since I do I have no issues leaving my son with inlaws or parents. We are lucky that ours are supportive and one set is local, the other will fly in at the drop of a hat. I do think if I didn’t work and have to take business trips then I would be more hesitant to leave my son but seeing him thrive in spite of it makes me far less nervous.
We also do our adult trips when he’s out of school so that his routine is maintained to optimize his learning.
When he was younger, no. We traveled everywhere. Except for my 5-year college reunion. It was for a couple of days and he stayed with his grandpa.
I'm a single parent, too. For me, I wouldn't have felt right leaving my child for three weeks at such a young age.
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