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What exactly is *normal?* Labels matter. There is nothing wrong with being quirkly or having various problems. These do not mean a child is *weird.*
What makes something or someone weird or normal? Something is weird when it breaks societal norms. Weirdness is ultimately subjective. A therapist should not be using this term when s/he can be more precise about what a child has. Often gifted children are considered *weird* because they act out of the norm. That is not a bad thing so we should shut down the use of weird for most traits.
I agree there's nothing wrong with being quirky. One thing I will concede is the word "weird" is too many shades of meaning to be useful. I think we've uncovered 4-5 already.
I would rather the OT make fun of the kid in a more precise way if that is the OT's intention. The parent should know that the kid has work to do if he wants to fit in. I never saw the point of fitting in, but tons of families want it.
But it's also people weird means outlier, quirky, the OT doesn't know, the OT misspoke, etc.
If this OT is so smart, they should be able to be more specific.
I don't think it's a good idea to shut down certain words usage. That sounds like it could have some unintended consequences down the road.
No, "weird" is not a medical term, and it is borderline insulting. It is not difficult to understand at all.
If someone told me my stepson was "weird" there would be a discussion, immediately.
COMPLETELY inappropriate for a health care professional.
Just because there's a discussion doesn't mean anything's going to change.
I don't really respect medical people because they revise their "thoughts" all the time, but if we pretend I did, you're bringing the kid to a specialist and then proceeding exactly to tell the specialist how they need to do their own job.
If you know so much about the issue, why not just fix it yourself?
Anytime someone says "is pretty common these days" that usually means "Our parents generation had it all the time, but people actually parented back then. These days, we let doctors do that instead."
In other words, they shouldn't even be in OT in the first place. The parent could just spend more time with their kids and then they could control what they say to their kid.
It might be worth noting weird does not have quite the same negative connotation for younger people than it does for older people. Kids and young adults have taken back “weird” the same way they have taken back “nerd”. There is even all those “you’re weird I like you” memes from a couple of years ago.
Maybe we need to know more than just the use of a word whose meaning is not quite the universally negative some of a certain age seem to think. OP what was the therapist saying exactly?
This is a bad idea. If a parent complained to me about that, I'd intentionally do more nice things for the kid AND say weird way more often.
I'd make you choose between making your kid happy and being paranoid over a word.
The OT might not even care as much as I would though. They might have just said it once for no reason. You don't want to make an issue where there is none.
As for the stuttering, once the kid is 8 or 9, they're going to know they stutter. Having a teacher pretend it does not exist does not change anything.
The kid with the stutter was 5 (not 8 or 9) and the speech therapist recommended that, since he was so young and could grow out of it, we (parents, teachers, adults) not interrupt his speaking, rush him, or bring undue attention to the impediment. These rules were followed and he grew out it.
If your response to a concerned parent would be to "say weird way more often," then you would not be professional enough to be caring for my child. I would request another OT and tell your supervisor exactly why.
The kid with the stutter was 5 (not 8 or 9) and the speech therapist recommended that, since he was so young and could grow out of it, we (parents, teachers, adults) not interrupt his speaking, rush him, or bring undue attention to the impediment. These rules were followed and he grew out it.
If your response to a concerned parent would be to "say weird way more often," then you would not be professional enough to be caring for my child. I would request another OT and tell your supervisor exactly why.
I don't believe in continuing a problem to maintain an image. I believe in fixing the problem that's there.
I'd either have my own practice or pick a supervisor that's ok with my belief system.
Also, I'm glad you'd pick having a mediocre OT that sucks up to your kid over someone your kid likes.
I'm sure that's going to work out great when the kid's older.
I’m paying for it, thanks. A dx code is necessary for insurance funding. I am paying cash. Many kids get early intervention services without a formal dx. Some go on to receive one, some don’t. It’s a formality. If they need to for insurance purposes it will say spd because that is what they are treating but it doesn’t officially show up on her medical record yet unless a a formal written dx is made. They would not have agreed to treat her if she didn’t qualify on eval as that is a waste of everyone’s time. Your taxes are not paying for my kid so don’t worry.
There was an evaluation but no diagnosis? Who decided that therapy would be beneficial to the child? I sincerely hope that those deciding to do therapy are not those profiting from that therapy. Conflict of interest is rampant in such situations. There are alarms going off all over the place here, especially when questions regarding the qualifications of the providers go unanswered.
Instead of getting offensive and turning on the Momma Bear mode, ask her what does she mean by she's weird. She may be struggling with how to tell you something. We're all weird in our own way.
Yes, weird can mean "does not fit the usual contextual pattern", as in a "weird kid" that doesn't conform to the usual pattern of thinking, believing and behavior associated with a "weird kid"...whatever a weird kid is.
But the OP is right, it's not an unambiguous word and it is a highly charged adjective when applied to human beings.
To the bolded...um, yes. She does have some quirks, as do most kids that go to OT. "Weird" in a professional setting is derogatory in the same way that "retard" would be for someone with Down Syndrome. You may be able to extrapolate the meaning, but it's clearly an insult.
And no, I don't think it suggests I've failed as a parent. To me it suggests that this therapist is immature and I question whether SHE likes my child as she could have chosen any number of descriptors besides that one, along with the face she pulled. That is what makes me uncomfortable. My daughter doesn't obviously get this message from her and didn't hear the "weird" comment as she wasn't paying attention to it.
Feeling the way you state is all the more reason not to wait until your daughter's next appointment to address this. Call and make an appointment to discuss her eval asap.
Also, no kind of professional should be discussing your daughter's appointment in an open reception room.
I question this professional totally. Talk to her supervisor immediately.
And, please check on State run available programs that meet your daughter's needs, these are mandated programs for disabled infants, children and young adults based on their needs....these are not based on household income......yours and my State and Fed. taxes have already paid for them.
The usual way............"That is one opinion, Doctor; it does not happen to be mine."
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