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He's got a weekday girlfriend then. This has nothing to do with the age issue but he probably has 2 girlfriends. I may have first hand experience in this matter in my younger years.
If the girl wants to spend more time with him, this is unlikely, particularly since he's not in college.
If he really liked an athletic girl who has practice every weekday, this might make more sense.
OP, if you all are in Alaska, this relationship is, as others have said, playing with fire.
In Alaska, as in many other states, the laws on statutory rape depend, in part, on the age difference between the two partners. The law recognizes statutory rape only in cases involving an age difference of more than 3 years. A 20 year old man who has sex with a 15 year old girl, in Alaska, is guilty of statutory rape. A 17 year old male who has consensual sex with a 15 year old girl is not guilty of statutory rape, under Alaska law. Statutory Rape Laws-Alaska - CNN iReport
The girl isn't telling her parents about this guy, which is a dead giveaway that she knows something isn't quite right about her relationship with him. I would continue as best I could to keep lines of communication with her open because you seem to be the adult she trusts. If things go sour she'll come to you before her folks. So listen a lot, and listen very hard when she talks--keeping in mind that she is (probably) inexperienced about guys at her age. If this is her "first love" let her know that she doesn't have to do everything a guy asks.
Then I'd start bringing the topic of boys up with her parents. Not necessarily telling them directly what's going on, but talking about school, boys, her friends--that sort of thing. Enough to get them thinking hard about what the girl's life is like when they're not around. Unless they're totally dense, they'll take it from there on their own.
Yes, it could all be relatively innocent. But if something bad happens--rape, pregnancy, violence--all bets are off and you tell everyone.
You didn't read your link correctly. It says right at the top that the minimum age to have intercourse with someone over 18 is 16.
If the girl is 15 and the guy is within 3 years, it is also ok, but 16 and up has nothing to do with the 3-year window.
Teenage girls hide lots of stuff from their parents, so that is not quite a dead giveaway. Also, they do not seem to be around much.
It's doubtful this is her first boyfriend if she's dating a college guy. A girl's first boyfriend isn't usually older than her.
If something bad happens, that's the WORST time to tell everyone. She could run away at that point. That's TERRIBLE advice.
I would tell the parents immediately. Your niece is asking for help, even if she's not being direct.
As for betraying a confidence, this would not even be a concern to me. You can tell the parents not to tell her that you told them specific details because you want to keep the lines of communication open, but they should know.
The bigger problem is that she needs guidance, boundaries, and supervision. Can you possibly help out in that regard?
I always hate comments like this.
How is confiding in someone equivalent to "Yes, please squeal on me"
If the girl hasn't told someone else who knows the parents, what's the parents excuse going to be on how they know?
I'm not sure a 16-year old needs supervision.
Do you want to be like those parents who think their daughter needs their mom with her on her dates?
If you're cool enough that the two would ask you to hang out with them though, you should say yes and investigate yourself.
I doubt a 20 year old man is dating a 16 year old teen for the stimulating conversation. I have a thing he is only "dating" her for one reason—sex. And if they’re only hanging out at each others' houses then I have think I know what they’re doing.
And just out of curiosity: is he actually sustaining himself by working on cars? Is it a legitimate business, or is it just he’s good with cars and people are paying him cash?
On the other hand, maybe they do "love" each other, and they just don’t want her parents to know because of how it looks.
Sometimes people who are totally opposite each other date for a short time because they find each other interesting, but it inevitably falls apart. Sort of like when you meet a girl on vacation and then are in that city for 6 months and you hang out again.
So the answer is you have parented zero 16 year olds? No wonder you're such an expert. Most of us who have done so are a little less sure of the right answers.
So the answer is you have parented zero 16 year olds? No wonder you're such an expert. Most of us who have done so are a little less sure of the right answers.
I didn't say that. Are you trying to bait me or something.
I'm saying that asking for a number implies statistical significance, but I doubt anyone here has raised hundreds of kids.
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