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I do think its important to "train" your children to be ready/able to be on
their own as they get older. Its not like you flip a swith when they're 11-12 years old and they know what to do.
So I do make sure my children learn to lock up, prepare easy food, basic first aid, and walk to the corner store. The world can be scary, but we have to live in it, and our children need to grow up able to deal with it too.
My sons are 14 & 12. I just started leaving them home alone together this year. I never go very far, and am never gone more than an hour & a half. But they both know only to answer the phone if they recognize the caller ID, don't answer the door, and all of that kinda of stuff. They may not get along very well all the time, but usually when there aren't adults hanging over them they do just fine. LOL!
My daughter is 9 and I wouldn't leave her alone unless I'm going to the bus stop to pick up my son which is a block away. My son just turned 11 and doesn't like to be left alone. The other thing to take into consideration when deciding when is a good time is knowing if that child would know how to react in an emergency situation. It may be a one in a million, but if a child needed to get out of the house for a fire, smoke, gas smell, etc, I would be sure he or she would know what to do, especially after instructions from the parent of don't answer the door, phone, or leave the house.
No state has a "LAW" that says what age a child can stay at home. They have GUIDELINES. If a state has a law that says a 12 year old can stay home alone and something happens to that 12 year old while home alone, instant lawsuit. Many states have laws that state things like they can't be left home alone in a locked building or such (that is what Maryland's law states).
Most experts say the same thing, it is when the child is ready to be home alone. A lot also depends on where you live. Leaving a 12 year old home in downtown Detroit is a lot different then leaving a 12 year old home alone in rural Minnesota.
My kids are 9, 10 & 11. I leave them home for short periods of time. I'm never far from home. I have a mom next door and another across the street that are home and the kids know they can go to or call them if there is a problem. I also have my cell phone on me and they can reach me. I'm going to sign my 11 year old up for the babysitting course at the park district for extra "training".
Most folks I know personally start leaving the kids home alone at age 10, unless the child isn't up to it. By age 12-13 some of the kids are babysitting younger kids.
Your kids should know emergency procedures early REGARDLESS of whether or not you are going to leave them home alone! By 8 I knew CPR, the heimlich maneuver, 911 procedures, fire procedures, most basic first aid, and absolutely EVERYTHING about diabetes. Even if you are home with your kids, something could happen to you and your kids need to know how to handle it. I was able to handle my dad's diabetic shock when I was 8 years old. If I hadn't been taught, at 20 now I still would have little idea of what to do. Just because you're an adult doesn't mean you know how to handle all emergency situations.
My parents left me home alone at 8. I was a mother's helper by 9, a morning babysitter by 10 to help get the kids next door off to school in between when the bus came and their mother went to work, and a babysitter by 11. I never burned the house down, opened the door, answered the phone for strangers, or ended up with a broken bone. Now maybe not all kids can deal with this- my younger brother wasn't allowed to by himself until he was 10- but a 15 year old can be just as dangerous home alone as a 10 year old if not given the proper tools and guidance.
I remember feeling very responsible, and terrified at the same time, I was in the third grade, 8 years old. My parents had no other choice I guess, my mom was home by 3:30 -4:00pm, I recall just sitting by the window, waiting for the bus to pull up with it's schreeching brakes, and waiting for her to step down from the stairs.( after I raided the refridge).
I even wore the key around my neck, far from the viewing eyes of my classmates.
My son is thirteen, and I still pay for after care, he is begging me to let him walk home.
For me, many concerns, busy streets, doors left ajar, not believing he is responsible enough.
Thinking, I will enlist a neighbor to be my "look -out", and call me should she not see him upon his return.
It's funny that someone posted this forum today. I had an incident that was kind of in this ball park. I took my daughter to the hospital this morning because she had to have some tests ran on her in radiology when a boy about ten years old came and sat next to us. He told me his mother was a student nurse and that he sits in the waiting room from eight in the morning till five in the afternoon on tuesday's and thursdays. I asked him if he minded if i gave his mother a number to a sitter for him and he replied no, she said I will be ok. He seemed to be fine he showed me his work and told me that he just watches the television in the sitting room. When it was time for me and my daughter to leave the nurse asked me if the boy was coming in with us and i replied no. I felt bad for him because that is a long time to be by yourself in a hospital waiting room but I guess you have to do what you have to do.
No state has a set age... or most states anyway, I won't profess to know about ALL states.
On the flip side though, a CPS worker can arbitrarily decide that a child is "too young" to be left alone, even when there's no set age by law, and even though most people might agree it was reasonable.
I wouldn't leave my 10 year old son longer than it would take me to go to the corner store, and he has all pertinent phone numbers and the neighbor's number, etc.
I've left him with his 16 yo brother... but not late at night.
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I was a latch key child
