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Hello I have a 5 year old girl who lays in bed from 2 to 5 hours before she will sleep.
I lived with my parents until last year and they helped alot with her, but they made us share a bed. Now my child will go in her own bed willingly but it takes her forever to fall asleep and I don't know what to do anymore. I feel like I have failed in the self soothing area. how to I go about getting her to bed without me and her getting upset? Everything I have tried does not work.
What time do you put her to bed? What time does she need to wake up? What time does she wake up naturally? What does she do for those two to five hours in bed? Scream? Cry? Play with toys? Look at books? Keep getting out of bed?
Some kids are just "night owls" or don't need a lot of sleep. I doubt if my son hardly ever fell asleep before 10 PM when he was that age. But he would wake up "bright eyed & bushy tailed" at 6 AM ever morning. He never needed a lot of sleep, nor did his dad, nor does our grandson. BTW, our son slept in his own bed from day one so staying up late had nothing to do with sharing a bed.
But, I know some five year old that are dozing off at the table if dinner is late and need a full 13 hours, or more, of sleep every night.
This is a little deal, small potatoes. You haven't failed and are being ridiculously hard on yourself for no good reason. She's healthy...all is ok. Keep perspective.
Is she in kindergarten yet? I have 2 kids and honestly, I felt like they did not develop solid sleeping habits until they were in school full time.
Will she stay in her bed or is she getting up? I would let her know that she can read a book but she has to stay in her room. I would not let her have any sort of electronics..that seems to keep them too stimulated.
My youngest daughter is a complete night owl and does not need as much sleep as my older one.
Is she sleeping too late in the mornings? Is she taking any naps during the day? I had to keep my son from having naps more than an hour when he was three so he would go to sleep at night by 9. I was a night owl even at a young age. In contrast my younger sister would fall asleep at the dinner table and beg to go to bed at 8 when she was 5-6or so.
I don't know if you tried this alread, but I would commit to waking her up the same time every day for at least 3 weeks, and making sure she gets some vigorous physical and/or mental stiumlation for an extended period each day. I don't care how tired she is, she has to get up in the morning and no naps more than maybe half an hour in the middle of the day. Put her to bed at the same time no matter what and don't worry about what time she actually falls asleep. Eventually her body will train itself to fall asleep at whatever time is necessary for her to get the rest she needs.
It may be a rough couple of weeks but stick to the plan no matter what.
No matter the age, I think it's important to read to your child at bedtime. After that we'd talk a bit. Even when my kids were teens I'd sit with them and discuss their day. Somehow a good foot rub came into the equation - Everyone in my family loves one - And if you haven't tried anything else, try the foot rub. It's soothing and I bet your girl will fall asleep.
Is it a new thing or has she always been like that? She may be feeling anxious about being in a new place. Does she miss her grandparents? Have you asked her why it takes her a while to get to sleep?
We often do "three best things of the day", either at the dinner table or at bedtime. For a while we also did "something that didn't go so well", to give our kids the chance to get out whatever was bothering them. It can be easy for kids to obsess over their worries and not be able to turn off their brain, especially at 5 when so much is changing n their world.
A talking book might be useful too, something that calms her but you don't have to stay there reading for hours on end. Or music, something soothing to help her let go.
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So don't be so hard on yourself. 
