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Old 01-15-2020, 06:16 PM
 
Location: Pikeville, Ky.
13,610 posts, read 22,043,167 times
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Moderator cut: warning

Guys stop the back and forth bickering and insults.
Warnings or infractions will be dealt out after this post
__________________
Moderator of:
Non Romantic Relationships
Parenting and sub forums
Dayton, Akron-Canton in Ohio
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Old 01-15-2020, 06:58 PM
 
274 posts, read 43,942 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mitsguy2001 View Post
But why should the husband be the only one expected to make sacrifices?

.
A SAHM may feel she had to sacrifice her career to stay home with her kids. There are plenty of SAHMs who did not really want to be SAHMs. Their husband insisted on it. Men aren't the only ones who make sacrifices. She may be working hard in the home, not sitting in a spa or beauty salon all day. I find it telling in some ways, that men here complain about women who stay home. But on another board there are men complaining that women take all the more desirable jobs. It seems like the woman can't win either way.
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Old 01-15-2020, 08:47 PM
 
5,245 posts, read 5,081,439 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by carrcollie View Post
A SAHM may feel she had to sacrifice her career to stay home with her kids. There are plenty of SAHMs who did not really want to be SAHMs. Their husband insisted on it. Men aren't the only ones who make sacrifices.
All valid points, but those are not the type of SAHMs I’m complaining about.

Quote:
She may be working hard in the home, not sitting in a spa or beauty salon all day.
I’m complaining about the type of SAHMs who are sitting in a spa or beauty salon all day while their husbands are working long hours. I am not complaining about the SAHMs who are working hard in the home.
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Old 01-15-2020, 08:55 PM
 
274 posts, read 43,942 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mitsguy2001 View Post
I’m complaining about the type of SAHMs who are sitting in a spa or beauty salon all day while their husbands are working long hours. I am not complaining about the SAHMs who are working hard in the home.
OK. But why would you complain about these women, if you are not married to them? How does their being in a beauty salon have a personal affect on your life?
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Old 01-15-2020, 09:46 PM
 
5,245 posts, read 5,081,439 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by carrcollie View Post
OK. But why would you complain about these women, if you are not married to them? How does their being in a beauty salon have a personal affect on your life?
Because I don’t like how our society is increasingly pressuring men to provide that lifestyle to their wives and children. Employers are expecting longer hours than ever and making it harder than ever to take time off for vacations.
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Old Yesterday, 09:44 AM
 
894 posts, read 229,427 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mitsguy2001 View Post
Because I don’t like how our society is increasingly pressuring men to provide that lifestyle to their wives and children. Employers are expecting longer hours than ever and making it harder than ever to take time off for vacations.
Is it? If anything I’d say there are more women who work these days and have well paying jobs alongside the men. There’s more pressure on both not just the men. Maybe it’s your own circle of friends but I live in Boston and most households have both people working. The cost of living around here demands it.

I know there are some men here who make a huge salary and the wife does stay home but those cases seem to be few and far between in this city . There’s also a lot of educated women in this area who don’t necessarily want to quit their job just because they had kids.

My former boss was actually the breadwinner while the husband stayed home.
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Old Yesterday, 10:16 AM
 
Location: Denver 'burbs
22,160 posts, read 23,759,347 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mitsguy2001 View Post
Because I don’t like how our society is increasingly pressuring men to provide that lifestyle to their wives and children. Employers are expecting longer hours than ever and making it harder than ever to take time off for vacations.
Yeah I'm not seeing that society in general is putting that pressure on men in general to provide that lifestyle. A handful of people (comparatively) live that way. And why do you feel that it's always the wives demanding that of their husbands? I would imagine a fair number of the husbands in that group were high earners/achievers prior to marriage AND that they equally are demanding their wives to strive for some ideal of physical beauty. The private trainers, spa treatments, chefs, expensive wardrobes - and yes, nannies- in order play into their own ideals - gorgeous arm-candy who can attend a business event or gala anywhere in the world at the drop of a hat. Both parties are getting something from that, not just the wives.
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Old Yesterday, 10:27 AM
 
894 posts, read 229,427 times
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Agree. The high earning men around here in many cases seem to have high expectations of their wives even if they do stay home.

Overall I get the sense from some people in this thread that any woman who stays home and doesn’t have to work is living the high life and is extremely lucky that they don’t have to work. This isn’t necessarily the case. Plenty of women could stay home or live on one salary but they choose not to. Many people enjoy the lifestyle they have with two incomes and many women enjoy being productive at their jobs and worked hard to get to where they are. They don’t want to give that up.

Last edited by Bridge781; Yesterday at 10:31 AM.. Reason: !
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Old Yesterday, 12:27 PM
 
Location: Cumberland Co., TN
23,380 posts, read 22,570,820 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mitsguy2001 View Post
All valid points, but those are not the type of SAHMs I’m complaining about.

I’m complaining about the type of SAHMs who are sitting in a spa or beauty salon all day while their husbands are working long hours. I am not complaining about the SAHMs who are working hard in the home.
Where to you observe such an illusive creature?
Where are their offspring while they are sitting in a spa or beauty salon all day.
How is it you manage to observe them in such places all day?
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Old Yesterday, 12:36 PM
 
Location: Dallas TX
15,321 posts, read 22,444,758 times
Reputation: 23222
Quote:
Originally Posted by mitsguy2001 View Post
Because I don’t like how our society is increasingly pressuring men to provide that lifestyle to their wives and children. Employers are expecting longer hours than ever and making it harder than ever to take time off for vacations.
Where do you live that you see this? Out of my close group of friends, half of us are the bread winners. This IMO is your perception, not reality.
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