Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I'm going to have a son that is going to be born in the next couple of months and I want him to be completely americanized. I was born in a foreign culture and grew up in a time where it wasn't welcome at all to embrace a different culture.
I want my son to be completely americanized and not think that he is different in any way. I'm thinking this includes moving to a typical American suburb and trying to distance him from the influences of relatives that hold on to old customs.
Is there any other advice in order to make this happen? I just know what I have seen in my lifetime, so is there any reason why I shouldn't think this way?
Don't get butthurt for every small thing and cry racism, discrimination etc . If you go by this forum and CNN, America is certainly the worst place to live. Go by your experience rather than stereotypes.
Get him educated and make him follow the rules, laws and respect everyone and treat everyone with courtesy. Majority of Americans whom I came across are like that. Your behavior and conduct goes a long way in determining what you receive.
I didn't read the whole thread, but I have to say I find this idea quite sad. The US is a melting pot, so there's no reason to take away the child's cultural heritage and possible chance at being bilingual. As someone who has attempted to become fluent in two other languages besides English, and basically was unsuccessful, I am always envious of people who can communicate easily in 2 or more languages. Often this skill is something they learned at home from their family.
It's funny, in NYC where I live, I often see kids who appear to be 100% white communicating in Spanish with their Spanish-speaking nannies. (A white family in my building has had a Spanish speaking nanny for their daughter from age 1 to at least 8 and the daughter does understand Spanish completely although she is starting to rebel a little and only speak to her nanny in English while the nanny replies in Spanish.) The parents deliberately hire nannies who will only speak to their children in Spanish so that the children will have a leg up when it comes to being bilingual. It's something the parents can't provide on their own, so they hire someone to do it for them. I think it's a great idea!
Being bi-lingual is a great thing to learn, but it's important not to take that over identity. Acceptance and comfort with multiculturalism is more of an American trait.
Learning home language at home is good, but have the kid go to a multicultural day care and be in multicultural groups. Hopefully the OP can find other groups for the kids to play with. If the child is raised always playing with other groups, it's the best defense against ever getting fooled by hate later. They will be the most American kid on the planet and will help other future Americans be the same. They'll need English, opportunity and something to do. Children will just play together if that's what they're taught at a young age.
It's when it's language and substantially all other contacts being of a certain group occur that the 2nd generation can become really a 2nd 1st generation....not the old country, not the new country.
Yes to your first sentence. Or at least what will allow the kid to blend in more, especially depending on where OP lives or moves to? I’m in a very diverse state but suburban areas still remain largely white, especially the wealthier towns.
I know someone named Kunal. He’s an American, ethnically Indian. While I’m sure there are many Americans named Kunal, it’s not traditionally an American first name. Let’s be frank, the US is a country that was founded by former Europeans, who were obviously mostly white. Until rather recently, it was a very white country with people of European descent, more specifically largely Germany, England and Ireland, Italy, etc. There were many Johns 100 years ago, for example, but not many Kunals.
Every poster here knows exactly what is meant by “American name.”
Yea I understand what the dynamics of this are, let's call them common names instead of American names to be fair. For example I really wanted to name my son Huáscar after the Incan warrior, but I decided to give him the name Óscar as his legal name and call him Huáscar in between us.
I don't know I just want my son to have more opportunities than I did, and I think sometimes my upbringing has held me back at times; like feeling only at ease in certain areas and dealing with certain prejudices bat a young age. Maybe the most important thing is just to move to a different city or neighborhood. By what some people on here say there are areas that are pretty open to different cultures.
My daughters have Sanskrit names (Anjali and Kalinda Devi). If they need to "blend in" they can use "Anji and Kali", but I wanted them to have beautiful names to reflect their beautiful souls and if people have a problem with that, tough. American names are not always Euro names. Yes, America as we know it was founded by European settlers particularly from England, France, and Germany, but over the years there have been migrations of many different ethnic groups, each bringing their own cultural contributions. I think of America as a patchwork quilt and truly unique. Everyone is an immigrant of some sort. That being said, it's not unsual to see a native born American with an ethnic name. I'd rather name my child "Ai Li" than "Gertrude". I'm not knocking the Gertrudes, or the Graces, or the Joans of this world, btw. Sorry, I shudder to think of a monocromatic world. I like having lots of delicious ethnic food options, and music, and variety.
PS There are many high status Hispanics who have Spanish names.
I want my son to be completely americanized and not think that he is different in any way.
sounds good!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Juventud Guerrero
I really wanted to name my son Huáscar after the Incan warrior, but I decided to give him the name Óscar as his legal name and call him Huáscar in between us.
what?
If you truly want your child to feel like an all-American-apple-pie-kid, don't call him Huáscar....not even privately. It's a VERY foreign sounding name. Other kids will find out you call him Huáscar. This will differentiate him from his American friends who's parents call them American names.
Please don't take this personally, but I wish you would rethink the name Oscar. Kids are mean and they will tease him about this name. They will say he lives in a garbage can. They'll call him Oscar the Grouch. I can 100% guarantee your son will come home from school in tears if given this name. I'm not trying to offend, I'm just a Mom trying to help. If the shoe was on the other foot, I'd want someone to tell me.
My advice is to go with of the top names for boys used in areas like mine (very few immigrants).
Examples: Jack, Nathan, Alex, Benjamin (Ben), and William.
This is the Oscar the Grouch, most American kids know him as the grumpy character who lives in a garbage can and eats trash.
I'd say name him whatever you'd like, but have an English name. Where I work is substantially all first generation but from different countries. Some have American nicknames and some do not. Sometimes names also encompass a vowel sound that I'm not used to making/hearing. If I'm not confident in my ability to write/say it, things devolve into...hey man.
The other posted about European names...but to be completely honest, the same thing happened there. People would get off the boat and go to immigration, and they'd be asked their name. Their name would then change to something the immigration person could spell and without accents, umlauts or letters that weren't English.
Even now, my first name is much longer than the nickname I'm called by everyone, even if nobody has a problem spelling it. Joseph to Joe, Janice to Jane, Bartholimiew to Bart, Sebastion to Sam....just stay away from Richard going to Dick.
Also, just make sure there isn't a double meaning in English. I know a very lovely lady with the unfortunate name of Dung. It means something beautiful in Vietnamese, it means animal feces in English.
So, if you do ending up calling him Oscar, I'd drop the accent, or just make it easier on enrollment forms. Made up example:
Name: Konishbigheriful (Ken) Khardonisk. (Just don't have the middle name start with a K)
I disagree with this. There's a difference between the kid speaking the native language full-time versus primarily speaking English but knowing a second language. Knowing multiple languages is never a bad thing. It could really help your kid in the job market one day.
I wouldn't worry much about your kid being americanized. Live a typical American life and it will almost be impossible for the kid to be anything other than american. It seems almost as contagious as a cold virus. Effort would have to be made for the kid to NOT be americanized.
Now whether the American culture is something to strive for is a separate question.
It can do wonders for kids to be part of something... sports comes to mind but there area other activities.
I know a single Mom just scraping by... she had a son and no family in the US... her son was driving her up the wall.. always issues at school/behavior problems
Mom worked very hard and the child was now in second grade and it was getting worse.
I asked does he have any activities... she said Video Games... I said anything else... she said no.
It was a big undertaking but she signed him up for soccer... her son didn't want any part of it... and the Mom was thinking I just made life harder all around.
The coach was a very understanding guy... told the Mom to stick it out... said it is a big adjustment and it is all new... the child spoke only Spanish at home and that was his language.
That was 8 years ago and he lives for soccer... is a valued member of the team and helps the new kids... his problems at school faded... coach had strict rules not based on ability but character...
My friend didn't realize the transformation until the second year... she was planning to go home and visit her family... her son was excited but then leaned he would miss soccer... he said the team is depending on him and couldn't let them down... Mom made sure the trip didn't effect soccer... he was caring about other people...
Before sports... her son was drifting in a world of his own... through sports, sportsmanship, team participation... he made his own way and had made friends from other races...
Even when they took the trip to visit family... his Grandfather couldn't have been more pleased when his American Grandson showed off his soccer moves...
Do not judge the world by your experiences alone. By rejecting your culture, ethnical background and family - what is left. You want to "americanize" your son but name him in private after an Incan warrior. This alone is a contradiction. Give him all the tools and let him make the decision when he is ready to do so. Nourish his gifts. Who knows what the world will look like once he is a grown man ready to be on his own. Do not be the one he will blame for holding him back.
Speaking of names - USCIS decided to use my maiden name as middle name. Written it is just a name, spoken it is a very nasty racial slur.
If you truly want your child to feel like an all-American-apple-pie-kid, don't call him Huáscar....not even privately. It's a VERY foreign sounding name. Other kids will find out you call him Huáscar. This will differentiate him from his American friends who's parents call them American names.
Please don't take this personally, but I wish you would rethink the name Oscar. Kids are mean and they will tease him about this name. They will say he lives in a garbage can. They'll call him Oscar the Grouch. I can 100% guarantee your son will come home from school in tears if given this name. I'm not trying to offend, I'm just a Mom trying to help. If the shoe was on the other foot, I'd want someone to tell me.
My advice is to go with of the top names for boys used in areas like mine (very few immigrants).
Examples: Jack, Nathan, Alex, Benjamin (Ben), and William.
This is the Oscar the Grouch, most American kids know him as the grumpy character who lives in a garbage can and eats trash.
My advice for the OP is to live in the diverse area with immigrants where a person does not think that everyone should have the same bland and boring first names. And if not, they expect that they will be bullied in schools. Also it is probably a good idea to choose a school district that tries to address bullying instead of encouraging it as apparently this poster does...
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
