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I wouldn't worry about it. The important thing is you asked, you didn't just grab the kid and start instructing him. If Dad was uncomfortable with it he would've declined your offer.
Some people just have the touch and can explain what a parent can't. What you did was fine. You were in the middle where everyone could see you. If the parents were uncomfortable, they would let you know.
I agree with the others, I think what you did was ok. However, as you're well aware, it can backfire.
I had this happen to me when I was at a mall a couple years ago. My child was two, and was playing on the indoor playground with my wife close by watching. There were a couple other parents with their kids there also.
Well, one mother had two toddlers, they looked to be twins about 3 years old, and they were a handful. She could barely keep control of them. Problem was, she also had another child who looked to be about 5. She wasn't paying much attention to him and he decided to start climbing up this wall that held a bunch of planters. The ledge of the first tier was about 3 ft off the ground. So, not a huge deal if a child fell, but then he climbed up onto the second tier, which was 6 ft off the ground. If he fell from that height, he'd get hurt or possibly even break his neck if he fell.
I saw him start to climb up to the second tier and I got up and walked over there, because his mother hadn't even noticed. Sure enough, he lost his balance and fell off the side, and I was close enough that I was able to mostly catch him and slow his descent so he didn't hit the ground hard.
Well the kid freaks out because he's scared, he ended up scraping his elbow against the side of the wall which was stucco, so it made it bleed, but other than that he's unhurt. So he's shrieking, the mother looks up and sees me holding him, etc, the kid's got a bloody arm now, and she runs over and grabs him and starts screaming for help.
I'm telling her to just calm down so I can explain what happened, but she's yelled for help so loud that a security officer comes running over, and this woman starts babbling that I tried to abduct her kid... and on and on. My wife comes over then and tells the officer that I'm her husband, this is our kid, I'm not going anywhere... because the security guy has already pulled out his handcuffs.
Eventually calm was restored and I was able to say what had happened, but by then I'm just thinking, "Jesus, this was so not worth getting involved."
I agree with the others, I think what you did was ok. However, as you're well aware, it can backfire.
I had this happen to me when I was at a mall a couple years ago. My child was two, and was playing on the indoor playground with my wife close by watching. There were a couple other parents with their kids there also.
Well, one mother had two toddlers, they looked to be twins about 3 years old, and they were a handful. She could barely keep control of them. Problem was, she also had another child who looked to be about 5. She wasn't paying much attention to him and he decided to start climbing up this wall that held a bunch of planters. The ledge of the first tier was about 3 ft off the ground. So, not a huge deal if a child fell, but then he climbed up onto the second tier, which was 6 ft off the ground. If he fell from that height, he'd get hurt or possibly even break his neck if he fell.
I saw him start to climb up to the second tier and I got up and walked over there, because his mother hadn't even noticed. Sure enough, he lost his balance and fell off the side, and I was close enough that I was able to mostly catch him and slow his descent so he didn't hit the ground hard.
Well the kid freaks out because he's scared, he ended up scraping his elbow against the side of the wall which was stucco, so it made it bleed, but other than that he's unhurt. So he's shrieking, the mother looks up and sees me holding him, etc, the kid's got a bloody arm now, and she runs over and grabs him and starts screaming for help.
I'm telling her to just calm down so I can explain what happened, but she's yelled for help so loud that a security officer comes running over, and this woman starts babbling that I tried to abduct her kid... and on and on. My wife comes over then and tells the officer that I'm her husband, this is our kid, I'm not going anywhere... because the security guy has already pulled out his handcuffs.
Eventually calm was restored and I was able to say what had happened, but by then I'm just thinking, "Jesus, this was so not worth getting involved."
Sadly this is the state of this country nowadays. Notice I did not say "world" as it's not that way in other countries.
I'm sorry to say I'd have to just sit by and say to myself "oof, that's gonna hurt" as it's not worth risking going to jail over until they "figure things out". You're soooo,so lucky your wife was there otherwise you'd most likely be looking for bail money...
Sadly this is the state of this country nowadays. Notice I did not say "world" as it's not that way in other countries.
I'm sorry to say I'd have to just sit by and say to myself "oof, that's gonna hurt" as it's not worth risking going to jail over until they "figure things out". You're soooo,so lucky your wife was there otherwise you'd most likely be looking for bail money...
Yeah, but it's hard to sit idly by and watch kids doing something dangerous that you know is going to result in an injury. Your instinct is to protect that child, because it's exactly what you would do if it was your own child.
Even after this happened, I'm not sure I could just sit and do nothing if a similar situation came along.
Yeah, but it's hard to sit idly by and watch kids doing something dangerous that you know is going to result in an injury. Your instinct is to protect that child, because it's exactly what you would do if it was your own child.
Even after this happened, I'm not sure I could just sit and do nothing if a similar situation came along.
You're right, it IS hard, but it's harder still to pay a bail bondsman and attorneys after the handcuffs go on. In my opinion the risks are just too great to be ignored nowadays as you almost found out...
Several years ago, a friend of mine worked in the local public library's main location, where the second floor children's room overlooks a central opening to the ground floor below. It is surrounded by a glass wall about three and a half feet high.
About fifteen feet away, from behind at the children's room desk where she was seated and working, my friend spotted a four-year-old boy climbing up the glass wall, monkey-style. No parent was in sight.
Afraid that he would slip and fall over the top before she could run to him and get him down, she called to him to stop, that what he was doing was dangerous. (perhaps needless to say, the children's room staff was NOT consulted by the architect who came up with that design).
The child ceased to climb, but his mother, who had been out of sight of the child, took great umbrage and flounced out, child in tow, saying loudly her son's behavior had been safe the entire time, that she knew where he was and was watching him (untrue), that they would never return to this place where people clearly hated kids, but would go to a branch library (one in a rather well-to-do end of town at that time) instead, and that she was going to complain to the library administration about how her child had been verbally abused.
My friend was a parent herself, a very kindly, gentle person who loved children, and had worked with children for around 20 years. She was extremely distressed by this incident - but both she and the appalling parent would have been far more distressed if the unattended little boy had completed his ascent of that low glass wall, and had fallen 20 or more feet to the granite floor below. Fortunately for my friend, she was assured by her supervisors that she had done exactly the right thing and should be praised, not reprimanded for stepping in when the child's mother was clearly negligent and had allowed her small child to wander into a dangerous situation.
I hope that child survived to grow up.
I sometimes think licenses should be required to parent a child. Sometimes it really DOES take a village...
So, I'm a mom and I have been an ice skater for years. I have even had formal training as a child so I am advanced. I go to the rink a lot because I still love to skate and it is good exercise.
So, I was skating and I noticed a very small child probably about 3 maybe 4 absolutely falling all over the place and I noticed one parent was not skating and the other had many kids, all struggling.
So, as a mom, as a skater, I was like oh my gosh a million ways this child could get hurt went through my head. The most worrisome was he falling and a skater hitting his head with a blade.
So, I skated over to the father and asked if he needed some help. He laughed and I could tell he did because he just looked at me like he realized he made a huge mistake trying to get this kid to skate. So, I put out my hand and the little one took it, I placed him in front of me and steadied him under his arms. I let him pulle to the center...which was the safest. I tried to show him he should bend his knees but he was too little to get it. So, I safely skated him to the edge and handed him off to his mom.
The parents were smiling and some of his siblings skated up trying to show him as well. But later I thought
..I'm a "stranger" and what if they thought I was creepy?
It has bothered me since. And I just wondered what other parents thought. I would not mind if it were me because I, like the parents, were right there. But...the way the world is now, I would be devastated if I made a parent uncomfortable just trying to keep their child from getting hurt.
I asked my husband when I got home what he thought and he said "I would think you might be hitting on the dad.". And he laughed and said I was being ridiculous.
I haven't skated for years, but I used to, rather seriously. I think you did the right thing, and I doubt you made the father nervous, as you approached him to offer help, rather than just going up and assisting the child without speaking to him. THAT would have been overstepping.
Since you're female I wouldn't worry about it, you did the right thing and something years ago nobody would have given a second thought about doing.
Now were a male to ask about the situation you posted, sadly I'd say HECK NO, not a chance in Hades in today's world. Keep your (man) hands to yourself and stay away no matter how good your intentions...
I hope you never find yourself in a situation where you're in some kind of trouble and the only person available to help you is a man. Because if he knew about that attitude of yours . . . let's just say that you'd be dealing with your situation on your own.
If you really distrust men so much, the solution is simple: "No thank you, I don't need any help, but thanks for asking." And keep your attitude to yourself.
Adjuster Jack, I thought what if he had gotten hurt. And that maybe I should mind my business. But then what if he had gotten hurt and I could have prevented it? I would have felt bad knowing I could have prevented it yet did nothing.
Up the creek without a paddle as in sued? Well...I am not worried about being sued.
I figured if a parent did not want my help they would say so. But...you make a point and I could just look another way and not help people. Which is kind of a terrible world. I probably will next time, just becaus I got too anxious over it. I've helped a lot of kids before learn to skate and even thought of starting a class to teach skating. But....times change and people are cold.
Personally, I don't think you did anything wrong. And maybe I'm softer hearted than a lot of people here, but I think you did a good deed, getting the SMALL child out of the way of danger. Honestly, I bet they appreciated the kindness. I would've.
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