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My elder son lives in Germany, with his German wife and their younger boy, his elder boy is in the Luftwaffe, so he gets to eat on Frau Merkel’s dime, (or one tenth of a euro).
When my kid comes to the U.K. once or twice per year, it’s almost always just him for a weekend.
We always go out to dinner on at least one night, and I pick up the check.
He has to put up with it, as I love him so much, if he didn’t let me spring for dinner, I’d be embarrassing him in the bar afterward by constantly hugging him, you’d think he lived on the moon.
When we’re in Dortmund or Bielefeld, in a gastwirtschaft, he’ll ask for “Die Rechnung” bitte, good kid.
His brother, my younger boy, lives maybe a 40 minute subway ride from me.
My wife, (not his mother), and I, meet him and his wife maybe once every 3 or 4 months for dinner, and we take turns picking up the tab, never going Dutch.
We follow 2 different soccer teams in the same league, and when they meet each other twice in the season, we have a standing bet, whichever team wins, whoever follows the loser picks up the check at dinner.
His job occasionally puts him near my wife’s office, and he will call her and take her out for lunch, always paying the bill, he says she doesn’t nag him like his mother does.
My dad, who is 83 pays for us (my husband and me) pretty much all the time. He insists (and he loves to eat out while we would be just as happy to eat at home).
When my son visits or we visit his city, we treat him. It was how we were raised (and why my dad pays for our meals when we go out).
We have two grown children in their mid-twenties with spouses (no kids of their own) all fully employed with decent salaries and little debt. My wife always insists that we (the parents) should foot the bill when we go out to eat. We are looking at retiring in less than ten years and I think it’s about time we all go Dutch. She’s having a really hard time letting go of this practice. I say the kids are adults and need to add this going dutch habit to their “adulting” practice.
Feedback?
For us, it depends on who invited whom to dinner, and may fluctuate if the invited party suggests going to an expensive place.
It depends on who invited whom when my dad and mom were alive dad would pay for all of us . Our kids don't see us that often but they pay for us when they come here and we pay when we go there . So it all works out eventually in the long run but it depends on how you were raised .
Sometimes. Sometimes they pay for our meal. Sometimes Grandpa pays for everyone. He loves doing that even when he cannot afford it. At times it becomes a game to see who can get ahold of the bill and pay it before someone else does. Grandpa is especially sneaky. He will say he needs to go to the bathroom and corral the waitress along the way so he can pay the bill before it even arrives at our table.
I might be able to pay for my mom's meal, if it were just us two, but if I'm out with my dad, or his dad, and one of us offered to pay the bill I think it would result in fisticuffs.
My parents are retired and won't let me pay. If they cannot afford to pay, they wouldn't go in a restaurant and my mom would cook for all of us.
The question is, do you have so little money or do you go out so often or is your choice of restaurants very expensive that you cannot retire if this continues? Maybe go to cheaper places. Cook at home.
Sorry, but this attitude is really draconian in tone. Doing this can shame your kids into paying to feed you when they may not have the money to spare. Times are different for each generation so incomes are also different from generation to generation.
We have two grown children in their mid-twenties with spouses (no kids of their own) all fully employed with decent salaries and little debt. My wife always insists that we (the parents) should foot the bill when we go out to eat. We are looking at retiring in less than ten years and I think it’s about time we all go Dutch. She’s having a really hard time letting go of this practice. I say the kids are adults and need to add this going dutch habit to their “adulting” practice.
Feedback?
Moms will be moms and will always consider their children babie, no matter the age. I do the same, everyone I know does the same, so it's not out of the ordinary. Be glad you can still do it.
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