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My husband and I are expected to buy all our food when we visit his parents. Anything we eat or drink, even tea bags, we have to buy all of it because they don't like sharing anything. But when they come visit us, they eat anything they want in our house. It just seems one-sided to me.
My husband and I are expected to buy all our food when we visit his parents. Anything we eat or drink, even tea bags, we have to buy all of it because they don't like sharing anything. But when they come visit us, they eat anything they want in our house. It just seems one-sided to me.
We have two grown children in their mid-twenties with spouses (no kids of their own) all fully employed with decent salaries and little debt. My wife always insists that we (the parents) should foot the bill when we go out to eat. We are looking at retiring in less than ten years and I think it’s about time we all go Dutch. She’s having a really hard time letting go of this practice. I say the kids are adults and need to add this going dutch habit to their “adulting” practice.
Feedback?
My dad always insisted on paying when we went out to family meals (which only happened 1-2x a year because we live in separate states. But once he retired, we began picking up the check whenever we go out with them. But we were never TOLD to do it - we just did it.
My husband and I are expected to buy all our food when we visit his parents. Anything we eat or drink, even tea bags, we have to buy all of it because they don't like sharing anything. But when they come visit us, they eat anything they want in our house. It just seems one-sided to me.
I find it hard to get my head around that, first of all, my parents and my wife’s parents would NEVER, EVER, have done something like that, and second of all, if either set of parents had floated the idea, they would probably never have seen me or my wife again.
Who ever heard of parents who wouldn’t share with their kids, but would expect the kids to pay for what they ate in their parents home?
My husband and I are expected to buy all our food when we visit his parents. Anything we eat or drink, even tea bags, we have to buy all of it because they don't like sharing anything. But when they come visit us, they eat anything they want in our house. It just seems one-sided to me.
Do you know what they like and don't like? Can you make sure your kitchen is filled to the brim with all the things they don't like when they visit?
My husband and I are expected to buy all our food when we visit his parents. Anything we eat or drink, even tea bags, we have to buy all of it because they don't like sharing anything. But when they come visit us, they eat anything they want in our house. It just seems one-sided to me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by emm74
Do you know what they like and don't like? Can you make sure your kitchen is filled to the brim with all the things they don't like when they visit?
As the adult child, my husband and I always offer to pay, but usually my parents won't take money from us. Maybe once in a blue moon they'll let us contribute or pay the whole bill. My father can be a bit old fashioned and he always says he doesn't want to take money from his kids, ever. My mother tends to be on the more frugal side of things and if it's just her, she may be more willing to let us pay.
My husband and I are expected to buy all our food when we visit his parents. Anything we eat or drink, even tea bags, we have to buy all of it because they don't like sharing anything. But when they come visit us, they eat anything they want in our house. It just seems one-sided to me.
I don't know how far away your in laws live. But if it is FAR, my attitude would be to grin and bear it... as infrequently as I could get away with.
Yes, we pay for our kids and their significant others and one grandchild. We usually go out to dinner for everyone's birthday, so that's several times a year, and then random other times. When we retire I think that will probably need to change. I always tell my kids they can pay for us someday when they are making more money and we aren't working anymore.
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