Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I'd ask for a definition of "complain". I can imagine the conversation going something along the lines of the teacher reporting the student is still having focusing issues in class and the ongoing homework issues.
In IEP conferences one of the things the teacher has to do is maintain anecdotal records, as well as official grade/progress records, of the student behavior and comportment in class.
Many, if not most, parents who are having issues with the kid at home would define that as the teacher complaining.
I spent 31+ years teaching and you wouldn't believe the number of parents who would make statements along the order of it being the school's responsibility, and hence the teacher's, to make the kid come to school, do homework, be on time, etc. Hell, there were even a few who tried to blame us for unwanted pregnancies because we weren't forceful enough in the Sex Ed piece of Health.
Shoe on the other foot, I have been a parent for a long time and you would not believe how many schools blame the parents for things that are out of their control that happen at school. And expect the parent to punish their child at home for things that happen at school. I don't ask you to keep my kid grounded at school, don't ask me to carry out punishments on your behalf.
Sorry...just had to through that out there.
But really...mom needs to find a way to be more involved. Takes a village and all.
She does not understand, and just wants the people at the school, to solve the problems as she is overwhelmed. Even trying to think and solve the problems is more than she can comprehend really cannot handle the problem.
Perhaps that's why she's coming here to ask for help.
Perhaps that's why she's coming here to ask for help.
All the more reason she should actually attend the meetings so she can ask questions of the people actually involved and learn more about the process, options, etc.
Shoe on the other foot, I have been a parent for a long time and you would not believe how many schools blame the parents for things that are out of their control that happen at school. And expect the parent to punish their child at home for things that happen at school. I don't ask you to keep my kid grounded at school, don't ask me to carry out punishments on your behalf.
Sorry...just had to through that out there.
But really...mom needs to find a way to be more involved. Takes a village and all.
Can you give an example?
My age is showing but my generation typically was punished at home for misbehavior at school. It was a form of reinforcement.
Some of the comments made to the OP should not be dignified with a reply, in my opinion. I'm seeing profanity as well as accusations of being a bad mom, and lots of mom shaming. This thread is totally nasty. I don't blame the OP for not returning. She owes nothing to any of you.
The OP deserves every comment here. She doesn't care what happens to her daughter at school. She doesn't care enough to show up for IEP meetings. She couldn't be bothered to drive 45 minutes out of her way one time for an evaluation.
Quote:
Originally Posted by PriscillaVanilla
Perhaps that's why she's coming here to ask for help.
Ask for help with what? Her main issue seems to be that the school "complains" about her daughter to her. Everything in her post tells us that she doesn't want to be bothered to advocate for her daughter to get her the help she needs. She sounds like she wants help getting the school off her back.
I have a child with mild special needs. I've driven to all corners of the metro area to have him evaluated and hear what the specialists have to say. I've taken him to various therapies as often as once/week. I've been to every IEP and 504 meeting. I've asked questions. I've talked to his teachers. I've scheduled extra meetings when I wasn't 100% comfortable with something. I belong to online communities, and every one of those parents fights for every accommodation their kid gets.
The OP doesn't deserve a bit of slack. I'm not concerned about her. I'm concerned about her child. I can't even fathom a world where a parent doesn't bother to go to an IEP meeting and doesn't want the school to tell her about her child's difficulties. I just can't even.
Shoe on the other foot, I have been a parent for a long time and you would not believe how many schools blame the parents for things that are out of their control that happen at school. And expect the parent to punish their child at home for things that happen at school. I don't ask you to keep my kid grounded at school, don't ask me to carry out punishments on your behalf.
Sorry...just had to through that out there.
But really...mom needs to find a way to be more involved. Takes a village and all.
Ultimately the kid is the parent's responsibility. If my child gets in trouble at school, he's going to be punished at home, too.
I actually have a friend who didn't think the school's punishment was enough and asked them to do more. Essentially she put the burden of dealing with her kid back on the school. I didn't agree with that.
All the more reason she should actually attend the meetings so she can ask questions of the people actually involved and learn more about the process, options, etc.
Yah, mom needs to attend IEPs & any other meetings/conferences - she has to be invited to these, if her child is the subject. & of course mom is actually involved - the state looks to her to guide & advocate for her child.
So - in the IEPs - she should have gotten a copy of each & every one held for her daughter - which will include a transcript/summary of the discussion, observations, recommendations, test results, methods attempted, success/failure, child's current status, reasons she's in Special Ed, diagnosis, outlook for future progress, etc. Names & titles of everyone present. Along with all that, the name, address, phone number of someone @ the state Special Education office to contact if she has questions, comments, complaints. Along with a federal contact, & likely a local contact/agency she can contact to advocate on her behalf, her child's behalf, & attend IEPs & other meetings with her, if she chooses. I'd start by contacting the local agency, with the child's complete file, & ask for an explanation of what it all means. (Eventually, they'll probably want to interview the child themselves.)
Best of luck to everyone involved. But yah, parenting is hard work, parenting in Special Education is even more hard work.
I'd ask for a definition of "complain". I can imagine the conversation going something along the lines of the teacher reporting the student is still having focusing issues in class and the ongoing homework issues.
In IEP conferences one of the things the teacher has to do is maintain anecdotal records, as well as official grade/progress records, of the student behavior and comportment in class.
Many, if not most, parents who are having issues with the kid at home would define that as the teacher complaining.
I spent 31+ years teaching and you wouldn't believe the number of parents who would make statements along the order of it being the school's responsibility, and hence the teacher's, to make the kid come to school, do homework, be on time, etc. Hell, there were even a few who tried to blame us for unwanted pregnancies because we weren't forceful enough in the Sex Ed piece of Health.
If this kid WILL NOT do homework, and is in Special Ed., whose problem is that? I would think Special Ed. would accommodate that kind of resistance/defiance/whatever - why is that considered the "parent's problem?"
I stopped reading after the OP said " Special Ed is for kids who can't focus". I can tell just by that, that it's the OP who needs help, not the child!! OP, you might need to take some parenting classes. I might also suggest family counseling.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
There's a lot to be done
