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It's statistically significant maybe, but in the real world?
The under-20s have a .007% chance of dying per birth. The over-35s have an .03% chance of the same event.
Seven-thousands of a percent or three-hundredths of a percent; should either number sway people from having a baby at a given age? All of these women have more than a 99.9% chance of NOT dying from pregnancy/birth complications.
I realize there are other risk factors that increase as women age, but in any case, the chances of either a 20-year-old or a 35-year-old (and we can even make that a 40 to 45-year-old) woman delivering a healthy baby and being just fine, herself, are very high.
Two thumbs up! Not to mention, those stats of coschristi's are from 2007, 11 years ago now.
A recent article about Tammy Duckworth really opened my eyes on something. People were making a big deal about her nursing on the senate floor. That doesn't seem like a big deal to me to be honest...although i guess it is basically bringing your baby to work and breastfeeding in front of co workers. What REALLY got me that no articles made mention of is that she is FIFTY. Yes, she had a baby at 50. Now I had my kids at 35 and 37 and i felt like i was older. I live in boston, people are educated here they have careers, but still most of peers are having kids in their 30s. I know of a few who had a baby at 40. But FIFTY?!?!? is this going to become the norm? I get that Tammy duckworth is not your average woman either.
Are we pushing the envelope here? Just because science makes way for something should it happen? we dont really know what the ramifications of women having children so late in life are. I think we've evolved but how much more room is there evolve as far as getting pregnant goes.
And yes i realize it's better to have a baby when you're older and financially stable but damn...do people need to wait until we're 50 for this?
Ya know...as long as women are having periods, there's a chance they can get pregnant. So...I'm thinking in times past, it happened a lot. As a matter of fact, I've heard the term "menopause babies" to describe later in life pregnancies.
I feel sorry for the poster who had to deal with the mother having alzheimer's. It is terrible and trying for the child, regardless of age. But the fact remains it wasn't an option to have *you* specifically earlier. First, there are no time machines. Once you're past 30 or 25 or 40, you can't go back. Second, a different egg is released each month. And sperm are produced continually. Any baby your mother had at 20 or 30 rather than 36 or whatever it was, would not have been you. And while it is still theoretically possible you could have existed even if there had been this older sibling, there is a good chance you would not have. And, if you had, you still would have experienced your mother having alzheimer's at that same age. There was no option for you to have existed earlier and been older when your mother got sick.
And as far as enjoying the wedding with an older child (teens or twenties) -- yes, that is great. But, as Katerina pointed out, twenty years ago, the brother was carefree while that poster was running around after a toddler. If you raise a child from infancy, you go through that stage, whether it's when you're older or when you're younger.
For me, again, ideally, I'd have liked to have my kids at 30 and 35. Sure, there are some great things about having them at 25, like my mom did, but damn - when my husband and I were 25, we were newly out of law school, had terrible jobs, and literally had no money. I don't know how we could have ever taken care of a kid. Neither of our parents lived in the city where we did - we probably would have had to have changed cities and moved in with my parents. My student loans took up more than half my take home income. I don't know how we could have ever paid for daycare. I was 35 and 40 when my kids were born. And while I agree it is exhausting taking care of children, and I'm 48 now, and simply cannot even fathom dealing with an infant and then a toddler at this point, if I had never done it, and my choice was have a child or never have one, I may very well choose to have one, if it were possible. Even though many friends of mine have kids graduating from or going to college, and I'd be sad not to be at that point right along with them, if my only choice to experience parenthood was to have a baby now, I might. Of course, I might also choose not to, but that would be about me, really. If I chose to have a kid, and their big drawback in life was having old parents who may not be around when they're old, well, people have overcome worse adversities. My position would be that they should be happy to exist at all.
There is no right answer to this because so many people have no control over their fertility. Some people struggle to have a baby and finally do get the babies they prayed for in later years. Other times people have unplanned pregnancy at too young age. There are few lucky once who didn't have struggle in preventing or getting pregnant. Good for you, but for rest of the world, there is a story.
I have the same thing with my twin brother. At a family wedding a couple of years ago he and his wife were chasing their bored 2 and 4 year olds around, and my husband and I were relaxing having a great time visiting with our daughter and her boyfriend, and they were grabbing us drinks when they went to the bar.
I wouldn't want to be in my early 50 and three kids in early elementary school, like them. My sister-in-law is not enjoying herself, either. I feel bad for her.
This is me now at almost 40 and my DH is 44. We are that couple chasing around a 2 yr old and almost 4 year old at every event we attend.
Nobody ever talks about older men having children, although lots of them do. So when women have children at older ages, it's suddenly a problem?
I'd like to see a man give birth to a baby...wow!
The older the lady the higher the risk....doesn't matter how 'fit' she is....blood clots,hypertension ,diabetes, kidney problems. Not to mention the child's health.
Kudos to a human who wishes to guide a child into adulthood.....it's a task with blessings galore.
My mom was 43 with her 'oppsey!' Daughter. My siblings and myself considered her like a niece ....as some of us had kids by then.it was confusing since many family pictures have ill sis beside the grandkids and . We'd have to tell them..that's their aunt!
My half sister now suffers from many ailments ....which had my mom been younger..none of these would have occurred.....so yeah...birthing later can carry some conditions to the offspring.
'when my husband and I were 25, we were newly out of law school, had terrible jobs, and literally had no money. I don't know how we could have ever taken care of a kid'
I had to roll my eyes at this a bit. Oh you poor thing. You AND your HUSBAND BOTH out of LAW SCHOOL. WAAH! Do you know how much better off you were at 25 than many people having children in the world? Damn, this might the first world problems post of the year. Congratulations for not getting pregnant in such a dire situation i guess, lol.
As for men having kids older it is simply different. They are not carrying the baby, giving birth to the baby, nursing the baby. I realize not everyone nurses but for those that do they are just doing more work than the male in most cases. I nursed both of mine and the way my DH would help was with diaper changes, getting food, picking up the house etc. If a man is in his 50's or even 60s are these difficult tasks?
Really the harder part of kids is when they get older and I dont think a lot of parents realize this. I didnt think having newborns was particularly difficult. Chasing after them and entertaining them now that they are 2 and 4 is the part that is hard and this isnt stopping anytime soon.
Sadly people with money just have it easier when it comes to entertaining kids and getting help so maybe a rich 50 year old woman would be ok having a baby. She'll have money to get babysitters, go on trips whenever they feel like it. I guess the more money you have around the less work you actually have to do...unless of course you also have a stressful job to get the money. BUt many old rich men find younger wives, have a baby and they dont even end up doing that much for the baby. If you dont think that's the truth you're naive.
The older the lady the higher the risk....doesn't matter how 'fit' she is....blood clots,hypertension ,diabetes, kidney problems. Not to mention the child's health.
Of course it matters how fit you are! How can it not matter? Tell you what, ask an ob/gyn whom she would rather have as a maternity patient and whose baby is more likely to be born without complications, a slim, fit 40-year-old with no health issues, or a morbidly obese 20-year old with Type 2 diabetes and high blood pressure.
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My half sister now suffers from many ailments ....which had my mom been younger..none of these would have occurred.....so yeah...birthing later can carry some conditions to the offspring.
What are those, I wonder? I really am curious. I was born when my mom was 43 so I'm wondering what ailments I can expect to encounter because of my mom's advanced age.
'when my husband and I were 25, we were newly out of law school, had terrible jobs, and literally had no money. I don't know how we could have ever taken care of a kid'
I had to roll my eyes at this a bit. Oh you poor thing. You AND your HUSBAND BOTH out of LAW SCHOOL. WAAH! Do you know how much better off you were at 25 than many people having children in the world? Damn, this might the first world problems post of the year. Congratulations for not getting pregnant in such a dire situation i guess, lol. .
If you had a terrible job, you'd wonder how to start a family on that. New grads often have student loan debt, too. Along with lower level jobs or possibly unemployed. I think it's a responsible decision to wait for a while.
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