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How nice that people think they get to decide the one and only path that women are allowed to follow.
If you choose to not have a child later in life, then don't, no one is making you. Keep your nose out of other women's lives, they are none of your business.
I think this is where our generation has gone wrong. The ideal age to have children is 20-30. anything above that is not a good idea. and not safe or healthy.
Oh good God! Not safe or healthy? Plenty of women have great pregnancies and perfectly healthy children in their thirties and beyond, including me. Both of my husband's grandmothers had babies in their forties, and one of my grandmothers did. It's a sign of overall health and longevity when a woman can conceive and give birth, especially in the absence of fertility support, in the forties and beyond. BTW, all three of those women lived well into their nineties.
Last edited by randomparent; 05-05-2018 at 12:26 PM..
I mean, guys have been having kids in their 50s for forever now. It only seems fair that women should too, if science has made it safe! I understand a woman's desire to progress in her career before starting a family.
This. Not only that, it's so freaking expensive to live nowadays that it's hardly surprising that people can't afford to raise kids until they're nearly in the grave. People will be judged for anything, apparently. It takes time, sometimes decades to become financially stable. If people have children before then, they are judged for not having enough money to raise them properly. If they wait until they are much older, they are judged for being too old to raise them properly
I'd rather see a happily married 50 year old woman have a child than some irresponsible 14 year old/teen- who no doubt would be dependant on the government/state/taxpayers to pay for her goof.
Oh good God! Not safe or healthy? Plenty of women have great pregnancies and perfectly healthy children in their thirties and beyond, including me. Both of my husband's grandmothers had babies in their forties, and one of my grandmothers did. It's a sign of overall health and longevity when a woman can conceive and give birth, especially in the absence of fertility support, in the forties and beyond. BTW, all three of those women lived well into their nineties.
Both of my grandmothers had all three of their kids in their 30s, ending in their later 30s. This was over 100 years ago for my paternal grand, who actually had her own dressmaker's business before she married. My maternal grand started close to 100 years ago. She worked on the family farm.
There is some research that women who conceive naturally in their 40s are more likely to live longer. Of course, my MIL stopped at 29 and lived to be 98!
I’m 40 and my kids are teenagers. I could not imagine starting with a new baby now. My main concern with a 50-year-old having a baby is that they have a decent chance of not being around for their child’s high school or college graduation, wedding, etc. Yes, I realize I could die tomorrow and not see my kids graduate, but the chances are much higher for someone nearing 70.
This is, to me, the most important point of all, which I'm surprised nobody else has raised in this discussion.
I was born in 1987, and my mother conceived me naturally at the age of 44. I was born a month before her 45th birthday; I am the youngest of 6 children. My nearest sibling (by age) was born in 1970, 17 years before me, and my mother miscarried 4 times in between her birth and mine. My oldest sister, my mother's first child, was born in 1962, 25 years before me. (My father was 49 when I was born.)
Thankfully, my parents were able to attend my high school and college graduations, but it wasn't without a great deal of hardship, physically, for both of them. They now live in a retirement community in Florida, and my mother is not capable of getting on a plane. If I should ever get married, I have to accept the fact that my mother will not be able to attend unless I get married in Florida within a short drive of her residence. If I were to have children after that, I have to accept that the only way my children will ever be able to see their grandparents is if I take them to Florida; it will never even once be the other way around.
This is, to me, the most important point of all, which I'm surprised nobody else has raised in this discussion.
I was born in 1987, and my mother conceived me naturally at the age of 44. I was born a month before her 45th birthday; I am the youngest of 6 children. My nearest sibling (by age) was born in 1970, 17 years before me, and my mother miscarried 4 times in between her birth and mine. My oldest sister, my mother's first child, was born in 1962, 25 years before me. (My father was 49 when I was born.)
Thankfully, my parents were able to attend my high school and college graduations, but it wasn't without a great deal of hardship, physically, for both of them. They now live in a retirement community in Florida, and my mother is not capable of getting on a plane. If I should ever get married, I have to accept the fact that my mother will not be able to attend unless I get married in Florida within a short drive of her residence. If I were to have children after that, I have to accept that the only way my children will ever be able to see their grandparents is if I take them to Florida; it will never even once be the other way around.
This is a very good post and perspective.
It serves to remind us that with anything, there are trade offs and concessions.
It's ridiculous, for many reasons. One: She will be a senior citizen when her kid graduates high school. Will probably not get to be a grandma.
Nature has designed women to be most fertile as teens up to twenties.
People are stretching it to try to have kids in their thirties.
If you need IVF, you are basically going against nature (which I understand some people insist upon doing).
Nature is smartest, though.
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My main concern with a 50-year-old having a baby is that they have a decent chance of not being around for their child’s high school or college graduation, wedding, etc. Yes, I realize I could die tomorrow and not see my kids graduate, but the chances are much higher for someone nearing 70.
