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If they turned out to be some sort of horrible monster - no I wouldn't love the person they had become, but I would mourn the loss of the person they used to be as if they were dead.
Children can do unspeakable things that would break your heart and make you feel like a complete failure as a parent but most times parents still love them. Love and approval are two very different things.
I believe at least for myself if my child did something heinous, I would turn them in and let justice handle it. I would be heartbroken and maybe not even like them, but I don’t believe I could ever stop loving them.
I believe at least for myself if my child did something heinous, I would turn them in and let justice handle it. I would be heartbroken and maybe not even like them, but I don’t believe I could ever stop loving them.
I picture something like, say, the Baby Brianna case in NM (sexually tortured a 5 mo old infant to death).
If my son was the one who did that (her father and uncle were the perps; Mother KNEW about it) I would want him dead. Preferably tortured in the same manner as his victim.
the answer is NO, NEVER NEVER NEVER NOT UNDER ANY HEINOUS CIRCUMSTANCE, YOU CAN NOT APPROVE, BUT NEVER WITHHOLD LOVE. NEVER.
NO MATTER WHAT THEY DO.
YOU MIGHT HAVE TO MUSTER UP COURAGE, BUT DO IT. NEVER EVER WITHOLD LOVE...........YOU DON'T HAVE TO LIKE THEIR CHOICES BUT THEY HAVE A RIGHT TO THEIR CHOICES.
YOU think there is something they did to not DESERVE your love? EVERYONE deserves love. EVERYONE. You will scar them for life, no matter how old they get a child always needs unconditional love from a parent.
MY GOODNESS, THAT IS YOUR FLESH AND BLOOD. PERIOD.
the answer is YES, always. NEVER WITHHOLD LOVE. NEVER. NO MATTER WHAT THEY DO. YOU DON'T HAVE TO LIKE THEIR CHOICES BUT THEY HAVE A RIGHT TO THEIR CHOICES.
YOU think there is something they did to not DESERVE your love? You will scar them for life, no matter how old they get a child always needs unconditional love from a parent.
MY GOODNESS, THAT IS YOUR FLESH AND BLOOD. PERIOD.
Even if their choices include sexual torture of an infant? Or how about the Mother who sold her 6y/o to a pedo who raped her to death, I forget the name, he was caught on cc tv carrying the kid's corpse from the hotel room where the Mother had DELIVERED her to him.
Were those perps my children I think "scarring them" would be the least of what I'd like to do.
Why should anyone feel obligated to love a terrible, defective person? The day your kid starts, say, torturing kittens is the day you are free to stop loving it. That is literally an unlovable person. Same with any number of heinous acts. Stop chaining yourself to obligations of emotion. It's OK to not love your kid. Plenty of people do and they just don't/can't admit it.
Why should anyone feel obligated to love a terrible, defective person? The day your kid starts, say, torturing kittens is the day you are free to stop loving it. That is literally an unlovable person. Same with any number of heinous acts. Stop chaining yourself to obligations of emotion. It's OK to not love your kid. Plenty of people do and they just don't/can't admit it.
If your child starts torturing kittens you go and get them help while it’s possible, if you choose to stop loving your child at that moment you become worse then that child.
I don't think you can turn off the love that you have for your child. It's not like an on/off switch. You wouldn't suddenly stop caring, no matter what they did. Do you imagine yourself finding out something horrible about your child and then shrugging and going off on the rest of your life without thinking about them again? Of course you wouldn't.
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