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The kids were playing; the little one was enjoying it until she got hurt. It was the adult who acted like a sadistic freak by intentionally trying to cause injury to a young child. Are you trolling here? They aren't going to take a nine-year-old to "Juvenile Hall" for "aggravated assault" over horseplay.
I'm getting some real Hills Have Eyes vibes from some of these responses. From this limited story people have determined this little boy is some kind of monstrous psychopath, stalking smaller children with glee, which will in turn lead to his later incarceration or (deserved) death. And I love the guy who says that the BIL had the right to send him home black and blue or even with stitches (though a broken arm may have been too much). WTAF? No one has a right to lay hands on your child. Ever. Period. End of.
And just because you feel like punching someone doesn't mean you will. It doesn't mean you're violent or you've taught your kids to be violent. The boy's father was angry, and rightly so, about the sickening handling of this situation. Sometimes people express anger through words without actually meaning them or acting on them. Shocker!
There were about 10 different ways to end this without anyone getting hurt and while teaching a valuable lesson, but those would have involved active, thoughtful parenting. Perhaps that's lost on people who think he should have just been beaten with a switch down by the river.
He didn't lay his hands on the child. You're going off the deep end too. It's interesting that you're defending the father and rationalizing his anger, considering he was threatening actual harm to his brother, yet throw the BIL under the bus for doing what he did and not having a calm head. If the BIL actually beat the child then that's one thing. But he didn't assault the kid.
What he did was the exact same thing little Lord Fauntleroy did to the three year old. Gee, the three year old could have gotten hurt in the same manner as well. No outrage? And like I said, she's three, of course she'll "enjoy" it. The older child knows better. Pulling a board from underneath, which can potentially cause injury, is NOT fun. The BIL's discipline method can be debated, but let's stop with the excuses and absolving the 9 year old's behavior. The 9 year old was being a brat who did not listen to an authority figure, then starts crying when he fell and probably put on quite the show for his parents. I'm pretty certain that he probably blows his parents off as well. Oh there's a parenting problem here and it isn't with the in-laws.
The kids were playing; the little one was enjoying it until she got hurt. It was the adult who acted like a sadistic freak by intentionally trying to cause injury to a young child. Are you trolling here? They aren't going to take a nine-year-old to "Juvenile Hall" for "aggravated assault" over horseplay.
I'm getting some real Hills Have Eyes vibes from some of these responses. From this limited story people have determined this little boy is some kind of monstrous psychopath, stalking smaller children with glee, which will in turn lead to his later incarceration or (deserved) death. And I love the guy who says that the BIL had the right to send him home black and blue or even with stitches (though a broken arm may have been too much). WTAF? No one has a right to lay hands on your child. Ever. Period. End of.
And just because you feel like punching someone doesn't mean you will. It doesn't mean you're violent or you've taught your kids to be violent. The boy's father was angry, and rightly so, about the sickening handling of this situation. Sometimes people express anger through words without actually meaning them or acting on them. Shocker!
There were about 10 different ways to end this without anyone getting hurt and while teaching a valuable lesson, but those would have involved active, thoughtful parenting. Perhaps that's lost on people who think he should have just been beaten with a switch down by the river.
Oh for heaven's sake! Obviously you don't recognize sarcasm when you see it!
HMM, THE OP HASN'T BEEN BACK. 10-1 odds that she won't.
I don't think she heard what she wanted to hear.
OP was probably hoping for a lot of "pats on the back" or something about how the brother in law is completely wrong and she is completely right. However, like most things in this world, it is somewhere in the middle.
Full disclaimer that I didn’t read every post but I would be mad about the way he handled it. There are other tools to utilize such as time out or taking the board away that would have been just as effective. However when you leave your child in someone else’s care without discussing discipline and how to handle it you also take on that risk. So I would use his as a discussion point going forward, talk about what is and is not acceptable regarding discipline of your children and his when one of you is in charge. Set reasonable expectations and let this time go while preventing it from happening again.
Of course this will only work if you’re all responsible and mature humans. If not then it’s probably useless and I’d just accept that you won’t leave him in their care anymore.
My natural reaction was to get furious about my brother-in-law‘s way of disciplining my nine-year-old son. But he stands by his decision saying he would’ve done the same thing to one of his children. He has three daughters ages three and four. My nine-year-old son was pulling one of the three-year-old twins on a boogie board and jerked it out from under her making her fall. I guess he has done this a couple times while my brother-in-law and sister-in-law were babysitting him he was asked to stop but did it for a third of fourth time. So to teach him a lesson my brother-in-law had my son stand on the boogie board and yanked it out from underneath him. Although I know that my brother-in-law‘s intentions were not to hurt my child he did get hurt. I feel that this situation could’ve been handled so differently, for example if my son had done this a few times why was he still being allowed to pull his little cousin on a boogie board? I’m not sure how to handle this. My husband is furious and will definitely talk to his brother but wants to punch him naturally. My mother in law is dramatic and feels this is going to ruin her relationship as well as her sons friendship. I want to be the rational one here. My in laws love our kids and watch them out of pure kindness. But he feels that his decision to do this to my child was ok and will not apologize. I feel that he has no business watching my kids anymore if he thinks this is ok and doesn’t respect that me and my husband don’t punish our kids like that. My son hurt his arm and his neck and both my kids are so upset at their uncle. My son feels bad and understands that he hurt his cousin. He said she didn’t get hurt the first couple times and they thought it was funny. He saw when she got hurt it wasn’t funny anymore. But his uncle still hurt him. How would any of you handle this?
Good. Your kid was misbehaving. You’re a typical overprotective drama queen mom. If I was your BIL I wouldn’t want to babysit your kid anymore because of you. He’s teaching your kid a lesson you’re obviously lacking in teaching.
He was told to stop. But you admitted he kept doing it.
Good. Your kid was misbehaving. You’re a typical overprotective drama queen mom. If I was your BIL I wouldn’t want to babysit your kid anymore because of you. He’s teaching your kid a lesson you’re obviously lacking in teaching.
He was told to stop. But you admitted he kept doing it.
What would you of done? Talked him to boredom?
How is she a drama queen, or over protective? She told her story, her feelings about it, and asked other parents what they thought.
The child misbehaved but he's hardly some demon spawn. He sounds like any typical 9 year old boy.
Your BIL was wrong imo. One freak mishap and he could have seriously injured your son. That isn't discipline, its child endangerment. Had it resulted in a trip to the emergency room ya'll would have been telling this story to CPS and cops.
Your son was wrong for playing too rough with his cousins and for not obeying his uncle the first time. Why your BIL didn't just take the dang board away at that point defies common sense.
That being said, is this a one off situation or an ongoing problem...……..both your sons disobedience to adults and your BIL lack of good judgement. If its ongoing, you and your husband need to work on this issue with your son. You also either need to stop leaving son in BIL care or get ironclad agreement from him that he will not physically discipline your son.
In any case, I would have son apologize to cousin he hurt and his uncle for disobeying. I wouldn't demand an apology from BIL as if its not given freely its worthless.
Hopefully, everyone calms down and this will be a funny story one day since apparently no one was injured seriously.
That was not appropriate and your son was hurt so I would be angry. I’d be angry at my son and he would also have consequences but the appropriate discipline by the adult would likely have been to make him sit out after not listening the first time. If he did this several times your BIL was being lazy until he just got angry. Not stellar parenting.
He didn't lay his hands on the child. You're going off the deep end too. It's interesting that you're defending the father and rationalizing his anger, considering he was threatening actual harm to his brother, yet throw the BIL under the bus for doing what he did and not having a calm head. If the BIL actually beat the child then that's one thing. But he didn't assault the kid.
What he did was the exact same thing little Lord Fauntleroy did to the three year old. Gee, the three year old could have gotten hurt in the same manner as well. No outrage? And like I said, she's three, of course she'll "enjoy" it. The older child knows better. Pulling a board from underneath, which can potentially cause injury, is NOT fun. The BIL's discipline method can be debated, but let's stop with the excuses and absolving the 9 year old's behavior. The 9 year old was being a brat who did not listen to an authority figure, then starts crying when he fell and probably put on quite the show for his parents. I'm pretty certain that he probably blows his parents off as well. Oh there's a parenting problem here and it isn't with the in-laws.
But he did lay hands on the child. He placed him on the board with the intent to knock him down and hurt him. That is malicious. It's no different than if he had hit him. It is assault. It's interesting that you're comparing the words of one adult to another to the physical actions of an adult toward a child (one not even his).
The rest of your fairytale (complete with character name for the child) is embellishing the story to suit your twisted beliefs, and justify your strange need to see this child hurt. You've created a backstory that we don't know exists. You've created characteristics we couldn't possibly know. It's like the facts that we do have don't even matter. How bizarre.
Yes, it's sad that the little girl fell down, and he should have had the toy taken and been given quiet time. But kids playing together fall, and often get hurt while playing with older siblings or relatives. His cousin has already forgotten it. The OP's son, however, might never forget being put on that board and yanked - the thing he was told not to do, the thing he was told was dangerous - knowing he was going to be intentionally hurt by an adult who was supposed to watch over and care for him.
Read about how these situations affect brain development in children. I'm talking about actual science. Not fairytale "probably" this or that.
And OP: don't apologize to that BIL, and don't ever leave your son with him again.
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