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I can understand why some kids are apprehensive about college. Today all they hear is that they have no future unless they join the military, learn a trade, or go to college. But what if you don't know what you want to study? Taking a gap year only works if you have a plan otherwise many kids fall by the wayside and never go to school. When they are in high school life is known and predictable--each year you just go on to the next. Once you graduate there are endless choices which can be fear-inducing and confusing. Then kids today have internalized the fear of student loan debt. No one wants to end up like the Millennial "losers" they hear about who work at Starbucks and have six figures of debt because they earned a useless degree.
As a parent it is our responsibility to ensure that our children are being brought up to be self sufficient adults. This "girl" will be an adult soon. The parents should have laid down the rules many years ago and if they didn't they are part of the problem!
And as far as I am concerned, once high school is over you either go to college or you get a full time job and pay your own expenses (meaning move out).
Well, that didn't take long! 10 posts in and it's the parents' fault, parents who none of us have likely ever met.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Coloradomom22
I can understand why some kids are apprehensive about college. Today all they hear is that they have no future unless they join the military, learn a trade, or go to college. But what if you don't know what you want to study? Taking a gap year only works if you have a plan otherwise many kids fall by the wayside and never go to school. When they are in high school life is known and predictable--each year you just go on to the next. Once you graduate there are endless choices which can be fear-inducing and confusing. Then kids today have internalized the fear of student loan debt. No one wants to end up like the Millennial "losers" they hear about who work at Starbucks and have six figures of debt because they earned a useless degree.
Why is that? My son took advantage of it (not through a community college) and began his university years with 42 credits behind him. He was then able to devote time to research projects that propelled him into his current PhD program. And here in GA, those dual enrollment classes are free, which can save a lot of tuition dollars over the next four years.
Yeah, they're free here too. It's nice that it seems to have worked for your son, but "dual enrollment" isn't the same everywhere, and it's not for every kid.
The girl in the OP could be feeling overwhelmed with her workload and the idea of "more college" could be scaring her away from pursuing it in the future. He already said she feels like she's missing out on experiences with her friends when she's away from school those days.
It's hard to say based on the info given. But I think it's best for many to just let high school kids just take part in high school. Some of them are not emotionally mature enough to jump ahead.
Times have changed. Lucky ducks- college credits for free!
I took several University classes while I was in HS and not only did you pay the full tuition per credit for each class, but there was no possibility of any type of financial aid so you paid full price for all of your books, study supplies, etc, plus paid extra fees to be allowed on campus and use the library and student union. It was extremely expensive, but the only reason that people did it was because we were so bored because our high school did not offer any type of advanced placement classes and only a tiny handful of "gifted classes".
I am quite close to a lovely young lady who is entering her senior year of high school. She gets average to slightly above average grades, is involved in two high school sports (co-captain on one team) and has had a summer job at a local camp the last few years. She is a great kid, smart, well mannered, kind. But has no interest in any post high school plans.
She is already taking 2 college courses per semester at a local community college through a program at her high school and does well but does not like being on a college campus because she is away from all of her friends for part of the day.
Each time any one brings up the college search she refuses to discuss it. Doesn't want high school to end and has not seemed to be investigating any schools for future plans. She will take the SAT this summer but no interest in selecting schools to apply to.
Some of her friends seem to be thinking the same way but they do seem to be making some headway into making some college plans. I asked about how her guidance counselor is helping but get vague answers.
It baffles me that she has no interest in post high school plans. At her age, I could not wait to get out of the house and spread my wings and live away from home. My mantra when I was selecting schools was to be far enough to be away from home, near enough to come home with the laundry. I went to college 2 hours away from home and came home once every 4-6 weeks or so to see family and friends when they were home too. Nearly all my classmates went to college and we all shared the same sentiment - could not wait to get away from home.
Is it a "thing" with this generation of kids that they don't want high school to end and have minimal interest in making post high school plans? I am just figuring that her peer group will eventually make plans and go off to college late next summer and when Sept 1 2019 rolls around she will look up and realize her summer camp job is over and all of her friends are gone and maybe she better figure something out. Better late than never and maybe by waiting she will making a more well thought out decision.
Are other parents of high school juniors and seniors facing the same thing? Do you force them to make decisions or do you just wait it out and let them come to it when they are ready? I just don't get it.
She doesn't want to go to college. If she does with her mindset she'll be back within a year after flunking out.
What about introducing her to various trades like plumbing, electrical etc?
The young lady in question is happy with her life as it is, and is refusing to look at the reality that things won't be the same once she and her friends have graduated. And if she's never spent much time away from home by herself, she may be scared of making the transition into adult independence. She might be better off working for a few months after graduation in order to come to grips with the reality that her childhood is forever over, then starting to plan for additional education once she's adapted to that fact. (Some time in the workforce might also giver her a better idea of what she'd like to do long-term. Right now I bet she has absolutely no idea.)
They talked me into going to my high school graduation.I had to miss a day's pay to do it. I told my college to mail mine to me. I did not want to miss a day's pay to stand in line with people I would never see again. That was 60 years ago and I have never regretted not standing in that line.
Times have changed. Lucky ducks- college credits for free!
I took several University classes while I was in HS and not only did you pay the full tuition per credit for each class, but there was no possibility of any type of financial aid so you paid full price for all of your books, study supplies, etc, plus paid extra fees to be allowed on campus and use the library and student union. It was extremely expensive, but the only reason that people did it was because we were so bored because our high school did not offer any type of advanced placement classes and only a tiny handful of "gifted classes".
Yes, definitely! I would have loved to have had free college credits during high school. I graduated HS in 1988.
We did have small classes for gifted students and university classes at a slightly discounted price but of course there was the cost for books, too. I don't remember all of the prices but I do remember paying $150 for a Calculus text. That was a s-tload of money then.
I recall being very glad that I only had 3 classes to finish my senior year so I could work nearly full-time hours and pay for the university classes. It was all quite expensive for a blue collar family
She’s still a kid.... so she doesn’t want to go to college THIS.VERY.MINUTE. Its hardly the end of the world as we know it. Some kids need a gap year (or two) to decide. Its hardly the end of such a young life.
And maybe- just maybe- she has concluded that she has no interest in attending college. “Like ever”.(Crowd faints)
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