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Seriously, my wife and I would love to go to bed at a decent hour and get some much needed sleep. We've given our two children specific bedtimes and our ten year old listens and she goes to bed on time, most of the time.
Our six year old decides that he shouldn't have a bed time and wants to stay up. He uses every excuse in the book and most nights even though his bed time is 7:30 p.m. he is not getting to sleep 'til 10 p.m.! It's a 2 hour battle to get him to go to sleep.
We've tried having him stay in his bed, close the bedroom door, keep the door open, turn on some relaxing music, allow him to sleep in our bed and move him to his bed when he falls asleep, going to the bathroom, giving a snack, a cup of water, a backrub. We've done it all.
Parents, please help us! Every night we go to bed stressed out from the little guy. He's a very headstrong, type A, wants control at all times kinda kid. Kinda like his daddy (me).
I am sorry for what you are going through. Can I ask, what time does he wake up in the morning? Is he in school already? How is his mood in the morning?
What are the consequences for not staying quietly in bed at 7:30?
What time does he get up in the morning because that seems a little early, maybe he's not tired and ready for bed yet. Still, at that age he should be able to stay quiet in his room when you tell him to, regardless of when he falls asleep.
Our 4 y/o's bedtime is 7:30. Sometimes he gets out of bed (uses every excuse he can think of) and it takes him until 9:30 to get to sleep. But most nights by 8 he is out.
if he doesn't go right to sleep usually it is because we didn't give him a chance to wind down. Sometimes we just don't wear him out enough. He has to run and play for hours before he slows down. And then we have to try and wind him down afterwards.
But he does get up early (6:30) so this helps. A 7:30 bedtime is difficult when both parents work (Both my spouse and I do). We get home close to 6 and between dinner, bath and spending time 7:30 is nearly impossible. It was easier when one of us got off work and was home by 5.
I am sorry for what you are going through. Can I ask, what time does he wake up in the morning? Is he in school already? How is his mood in the morning?
He is finishing up kindergarten and usually wakes by 7:45. More times than not it's because I'm dragging him out of bed to get dressed. His morning mood is generally quite good.
There has to be a form of punishment that will make him want to stay in his bed. For my 4yr old it is shutting the door, or taking out the night light. If I tell him I'm going to do one of those things, if he doesn't lay down, then that usually keeps him in bed. I've had to shut the door or take the light away for a night so he knows I mean business when I say these things. Whatever you set as the punishment, you have to be willing to follow through even if it does mean a tantrum here or there. Kids are not worried about empty threats.
I think 7:30 is too early for a 6 year old to go to bed. When my kids were that age it was between 8:00 and 8:30. Now they are 8,9 and 10. They all go to bed at the same time which is around 8:30 sometimes 9:00. They get up at about 10 till 7. With my kids I have always given them a flashlight at bedtime and they read books. I started that when they were really little to get them to stay in bed. Reading/looking at the pictures kept them occupied and made them sleepy.
Seriously, none of my kids have gone to bed at 7:30 since they were infants.
Have you tried a star chart? You and your child choose a reasonable reward for five or seven straight nights of going to bed and staying in bed at the assigned time. Every morning that he wakes up having followed the plan the night before, he gets a star. When he gets the correct number of stars in a row, he gets the reward.
The key to making this work is that the number of nights have to be consecutive otherwise, he can do great one night, screw around the next night and drag it out for a month, but still end up earning the reward. If you set the rules as consecutive nights he gets more and more incentivized the closer he gets to the goal.
At this age, my kids responded well to contracts and rules that were in writing. It really didn't matter if they could read or not, they seemed to feel more grown up when the star chart rules of engagement were written down.
Have you tried a star chart? You and your child choose a reasonable reward for five or seven straight nights of going to bed and staying in bed at the assigned time. Every morning that he wakes up having followed the plan the night before, he gets a star. When he gets the correct number of stars in a row, he gets the reward.
The key to making this work is that the number of nights have to be consecutive otherwise, he can do great one night, screw around the next night and drag it out for a month, but still end up earning the reward. If you set the rules as consecutive nights he gets more and more incentivized the closer he gets to the goal.
At this age, my kids responded well to contracts and rules that were in writing. It really didn't matter if they could read or not, they seemed to feel more grown up when the star chart rules of engagement were written down.
Excellent idea! Thank you!
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