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Does anyone else hate certain words for "going to the bathroom"? Mine would be cocky, if I'm even spelling it right. My grandmother, God bless her soul, always used to go on about it was such a nasty word and kids should learn how to say bathroom or number 2. I also find it a nasty word too, and I think my oldest once said it, when she was much smaller, (must have picked it up from another preschooler) and I immediately corrected her and told her which words we use in our home and to other adults for the bathroom.
My youngest is going to be 5, so I know she's 100% capable of saying bathroom, which she does. She comes out of nowhere while we are eating dinner and says "Mommy, when gma takes me to the bathroom, she is always using the word cocky and I tell her to stop saying it and we don't say that." Now, I'm not a huge fan of MIL to begin with and while unfortunately we are stuck using her for minimal child care for the time being, I would prefer she use the grown up words, I mean my kid isn't an infant, to my DD or words that well, we allow our kids to say.
I mentioned it to DH and he said he would tell her to stop using that word. Again, don't want to make a huge thing here, but also feel like well, I don't want her picking up a word that she isn't allowed to use. Thoughts?
I never heard the word cocktail for going to the bathroom before, maybe it's a regional term. Maybe just let your mil know that word makes your daughter uncomfortable and you would prefer that she would just say bathroom.
Actually, some people think saying "number two" is offensive, too. If you are going to teach your child the correct terms please use "urinate" and "defecate." (I'm sort of kidding) Of course, "I need to use the bathroom" is a very appropriate substitution for all ages from when children start school, to the work place, to when they retire.
IMHO, as long as your child uses the terms that are acceptable to you what is the big deal of what your MIL calls it. I can tell you have I have heard much, much worse "bathroom words" than "cocky" or "caca/kaka" by adults numerous times in my life. Yes, please tell her that you prefer that she says other words to your daughter, but IMHO, it is not something that would cause you to not allow her to provide child care for you anymore (but, if you make a huge deal about it she may not want to babysit anymore).
IMHO, this is a very, very minor MIL problem. I bet that she used the same term when your husband was growing up. Does he still say that to his boss and co-workers when he needs to excuse himself from a meeting? I bet that the answer is "No". And, your daughter won't use slang terms like that when she asks to use the bathroom in school, either.
Now, if your MIL was using offensive racial terms or obscenities in front of your children, to me that is a much bigger deal that you would need to discuss with her. Does she do those things?
Last edited by germaine2626; 09-04-2018 at 11:04 PM..
Actually, some people think saying "number two" is offensive, too. If you are going to teach your child the correct terms please use "urinate" and "defecate." (I'm sort of kidding) Of course, "I need to use the bathroom" is a very appropriate substitution for all ages from when children start school, to the work place, to when they retire.
IMHO, as long as your child uses the terms that are acceptable to you what is the big deal of what your MIL calls it. I can tell you have I have heard much, much worse "bathroom words" than "cocky" or "caca/kaka" by adults numerous times in my life. Yes, please tell her that you prefer that she says other words to your daughter, but IMHO, it is not something that would cause you to not allow her to provide child care for you anymore (but, if you make a huge deal about it she may not want to babysit anymore).
IMHO, this is a very, very minor MIL problem. I bet that she used the same term when your husband was growing up. Does he still say that to his boss and co-workers when he needs to excuse himself from a meeting? I bet that the answer is "No". And, your daughter won't use slang terms like that when she asks to use the bathroom in school, either.
Now, if your MIL was using offensive racial terms or obscenities in front of your children, to me that is a much bigger deal that you would need to discuss with her. Does she do those things?
Yeah, that went over like a lead balloon for me in the first grade. The classes had bathrooms inside the rooms and you not only had to ask permission to go, you had to tell the teacher and the entire class just what you were going to do in there. When the teacher demanded to know if I needed to do "#1" or "#2" I had no idea what she was talking about. She went through several silly euphemisms before finally saying, "Is it going to come out the front or the back?"
At which point the lightbulb in my head went off and I loudly exclaimed, "OH, you mean do I need to URINATE or DEFECATE"
First she hauled me into the bathroom and washed my mouth out with soap, and then for that extra dollop of terror, she hauled me out into the hall and paddled me. For swearing. Seriously. What did she even need to know exactly what was going to be going on in there. Not to mention the fact that the entire class did not need that information either.
I have no idea what "cocky" means. That is not a euphemism I've ever heard. But if it is locally considered to be impolite, then the grandmother shouldn't be using the term. If it were me, having been asked by the child I would stop using the term. Well actually if it were me I'd never have used a euphemism like that anyway.
I don't understand why people feel the need to come up with weird terms for going to the bathroom. "I need to use the bathroom" is simple, concise, and clear. "I've got to go cocky" sounds like it came out of a porn movie.
This raises a whole bunch of questions about bathroom words. When I was a kid, poop was called boo boo, and pee was wee wee. Then in a different state, raising my kids, a boo boo was a hurt. We settled in on pee and poop.
I'm not sure I'm completely understanding the post. I taught my kid to say, "I need to go to the bathroom/restroom" We didn't use weird baby words. I don't think my mother-in-law or other relatives used other descriptions with my kid, but there is a possibility that they did. And if they did, that's their prerogative.
Now, I'm not a huge fan of MIL to begin with and while unfortunately we are stuck using her for minimal child care for the time being
I mentioned it to DH and he said he would tell her to stop using that word. Again, don't want to make a huge thing here, but also feel like well, I don't want her picking up a word that she isn't allowed to use. Thoughts?
You are “stuck using her”?
And that’s not a curse word, BTW; it’s just one of so many slang words for a bowel movement. I think I’d stick with the “not making it a huge thing” plan. Your 5 year old already knows what you expect; as evidenced by her scoring points by relating to you how she “corrected” her grandmother.
Personally, If I was your spouse I wouldn’t agree to “tell her not to” & I wouldn’t allow my kid to talk to her like that either. Then again; I don’t think I could get past the “stuck using her” comment. But that’s just me.
It's not commonly used in many places in the US but it's not just some weird made up baby word. It is still used in other places/cultures
Middle English cakken, from Latin cacare; akin to Greek kakkan to void excrement, Middle Irish cacc dung, and perhaps to Greek kakos bad
First Known Use: 15th century - Merriam-Webster
interesting and very informal little side about it's use in other countries a cool thing I learned today – Kaka means poop
It's not commonly used in many places in the US but it's not just some weird made up baby word. It is still used in other places/cultures
Middle English cakken, from Latin cacare; akin to Greek kakkan to void excrement, Middle Irish cacc dung, and perhaps to Greek kakos bad
First Known Use: 15th century - Merriam-Webster
interesting and very informal little side about it's use in other countries a cool thing I learned today – Kaka means poop
Great! Like I said, if grandma or any other relative used terms other than "using the bathroom/restroom" (which is what we used with my kid), I don't get the big deal. Then again, I'm not sure I'm understanding the original post? That grandma has her own vocabulary when dealing with a small child? In my opinion the poster needs to let it go.
Ah. I see. Not cocky. Caca. That's even worse. I've never ever seen that spelt with k's
And in my opinion, GRANDMA needs to let it go. I didn't tolerate people using baby words around my son. They were told to stop if they did it in my hearing. I wanted my son to learn English, not baby talk.
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