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Mine are now adults. I was very thrilled to have them and am happy I did. I’m still happy I did although sometimes I question how I raised them. They don’t seem very interested in me other than helping them with childcare and that hurts my feelings. I love them beyond reason all their lives. Now I wonder if I’ve loved a little too much.
Thanks...would love to here some men chime in...why do i think they may have a different take...well some...more than women I suspect.
Scared out of my mind about having them, keeping them alive, protecting them. Happier than words can express that I have them. If I had a time machine to rewind my life and correct mistakes or something, I could only go back as far as the day they were born.
If I could go back in time to that day, I'd try to do everything exactly the same, but I'd also buy a s---load of bitcoin so I could pay for their college.
Not apprehensive, but pausing at times understanding that my "not apprehension" rather stemmed from societal pressures, morphed into unquestionable axioms ("I must have kids, it's a destiny"). Later, understood that I might have been a good candidate for the child-free way of life. But, looking at my teenagers, I am extremely grateful that they exist, and cannot imagine my life without them. So it's a mixture. Won't fit into your clean-cut poll.
Thanks...would love to here some men chime in...why do i think they may have a different take...well some...more than women I suspect.
I asked my husband. He said - not apprehensive beforehand. After I got pregnant he worried about doing a good job, but I did, too. Happy to have done it.
I have to say, back then, it was just something you did, so I never even considered having a career instead of kids. I never gave a thought to worrying about whether they would be healthy, or difficult, etc. My last baby was at 34, and he was premature. Until that day, I had never worried about anything, but after him, I was afraid to have any more. Too bad, because he’s 11 years younger than his brother, and he’d have liked a close sibling.
don't remember happy or apprehensive............ sadly, well..... this'll sound awful. don't judge people. please? I was hoping.
hoping.
hoping.
I was only hoping that the responsibility that a child would entail would precipitate a maturity he here to fore was not evincing................. and stop all the drinking. the biological clock was ticking, we were being pressured to have kids, married 5 years in.... i dunno. so i did what was suggested. had a child. that would click. he'd go from immature to mature. responsible. being a dad would be the magic key to open him to not only fatherhood, but our marriage.
there was no such thing as the concept "the disease of alcoholism". i had gone everywhere, we tried marriage counselling, i went to a therapist, as he convinced me it was all my fault.
i don't know. i was young. had no clue.
Of course it didn't work. i didn't know at the time he was an alcoholic. i saw alcoholics, they were all around me as a kid. didn't even know my dad was one. Alcoholics were those homeless men, those smelly guys, in filthy clothes, living in doorways with newspapers over themselves..... my little town had four bars, at any hour of the day you would see them stumbling out, falling down. passing out.
finally found Al-anon some 3 years later and learned there are doctors, lawyers, teachers, all kinds of people who have a problem with alcohol. ((((((((((((((((((((((sigh)))))))))))))))))))))))) )
i regret i brought my kids into that world, onto that merry-go-round. i cannot forgive myself.
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