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I have a 10 year old and an 8 year old, I'm in a bad situation right now which is the only reason I agreed to let them go with their father. He sees them here and there, he's supposed to have them every weekend but doesn't with his reason being that I put him on child support. We got divorced four years ago , I've raised my kids on my own , and the only reason I put him on child support was because things got tough for me and he wouldn't even help me with my son's haircut which to me was ridiculous. They've been staying with their dad for four days and he's already asked me for money , he's harrassed me the entire week , texting calling just cursing and demanding I do what he says , he told me I cannot pick up the kids from school because his wife is doing that and she doesn't want to see me , I still picked them up because I am their mom so whatever she says doesn't go . I've never acted like this with him . I used to let him go for the kids any time he wanted, pick them up from school any day , never initiated problems with him and his wife as I was the one who left him, I don't care what he does with his life , but now that my kids are under his care he's trying to make my life hell.. what can I do ?
I have a 10 year old and an 8 year old, I'm in a bad situation right now which is the only reason I agreed to let them go with their father. He sees them here and there, he's supposed to have them every weekend but doesn't with his reason being that I put him on child support. We got divorced four years ago , I've raised my kids on my own , and the only reason I put him on child support was because things got tough for me and he wouldn't even help me with my son's haircut which to me was ridiculous. They've been staying with their dad for four days and he's already asked me for money , he's harrassed me the entire week , texting calling just cursing and demanding I do what he says , he told me I cannot pick up the kids from school because his wife is doing that and she doesn't want to see me , I still picked them up because I am their mom so whatever she says doesn't go . I've never acted like this with him . I used to let him go for the kids any time he wanted, pick them up from school any day , never initiated problems with him and his wife as I was the one who left him, I don't care what he does with his life , but now that my kids are under his care he's trying to make my life hell.. what can I do ?
Take them back. If he won't give them back go to court and get custody of them.
Let me get this straight, he tells you not to pick up your kids from school because his new wife doesn't want to see you??
Tell her to wear a blindfold then. Are you freakin kidding me? Girl, first of all they are your kids, what the wifey wants ain't even worth me wasting breath on.
Get a lawyer, hammer out exactly what the child support situation will be and get custody of your children. NOW.
I have a 10 year old and an 8 year old, I'm in a bad situation right now which is the only reason I agreed to let them go with their father. He sees them here and there, he's supposed to have them every weekend but doesn't with his reason being that I put him on child support. We got divorced four years ago , I've raised my kids on my own , and the only reason I put him on child support was because things got tough for me and he wouldn't even help me with my son's haircut which to me was ridiculous. They've been staying with their dad for four days and he's already asked me for money , he's harrassed me the entire week , texting calling just cursing and demanding I do what he says , he told me I cannot pick up the kids from school because his wife is doing that and she doesn't want to see me , I still picked them up because I am their mom so whatever she says doesn't go . I've never acted like this with him . I used to let him go for the kids any time he wanted, pick them up from school any day , never initiated problems with him and his wife as I was the one who left him, I don't care what he does with his life , but now that my kids are under his care he's trying to make my life hell.. what can I do ?
So much is wrong here in so many ways.
First, you don't "put him on child support." When one has a child, they owe that child financial support, end of story. Do not let him bully you into thinking he's doing you some favor. It is his legal responsibility.
His use of this as a reason to NOT see his children is ridiculous and infantile. He OWES his children support.
As far as his demands for money...tell him to go to court, just as I'm sure you had to do. He's had them for 4 days. Big deal. He's supposed to have them on weekends and it doesn't sound like he's done that.
What his wife does or doesn't want is irrelevant.
BTW--OP--how many times have you been married? In another post on another forum you said you were just separated. In this post you say you have been divorced for 4 years.
Navigating new relationships after a divorce is tricky.
Going to court takes time and money, both of which I'm guessing are in short supply. Act like adults and come up with a schedule that everyone can agree on, like they bring them to school and you pick them up. If he is still paying you child support but the kids are living with him, then he's correct in asking for some financial assistance.
Do you have an official custody/visitation arrangement? Also, how long do you anticipate this hard spell to last?
Going to court takes time and money, both of which I'm guessing are in short supply. Act like adults and come up with a schedule that everyone can agree on, like they bring them to school and you pick them up. If he is still paying you child support but the kids are living with him, then he's correct in asking for some financial assistance.
Agreed. There's been a change in living situation here with regards to kids now living with dad for 4 days a week (that was my take from the post). Usually that requires a trip back to court to amend the custody agreement and make changes to child support payments. If they are living with the father, then depending on incomes of both, he could be correct in asking that you contribute financially to their upbringing now that he is acting as the custodial parent.
You really need to seek out a lawyer and go to court to hash out an updated agreement and update the CS. Short of that, you two need to sit down like adults and figure out an actual schedule and plan for who does pickups and drop-offs and such. There are usually financial calculators online for your state to help out with CS calculations as well, and he may be very well entitled to assistance from you depending on your incomes and such.
But, IANAL, and I would recommend the OP speak to one.
It sounds like you are voluntarily giving up custody, which needs to be done through a court order. If he is paying child support, the support check will also stop since he will be the custodial parent. Reading between the lines, it sounds like he is asking for child support money back since he is now supporting the children.
Deeg, unless you are a danger to the kids, you should take them back right away, as long as that was the standing agreement. From your post, I'm assuming that the kids went to live with him 4 days ago.
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