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Making decisions based on knowledge and life experience is the privilege of being an adult. How does a 5 year old have any clue where he wants to go on a vacation? He sees something on TV and decides he wants to go.
I have an acquaintance who went to Florida per his child DEMAND and upon arriving at the beach the kid REFUSED to go near the water. When questioned as to why, he replied..."it's wet".
'Nuff said
Allowing a 5-year-old to make major decisions single-handedly is not at all what anyone here is advocating.
I'm looking back at your OP:
Quote:
The only reference I have regarding child rearing are my own experiences as a child and the people I know who have kids.
When I was a child...No thought was EVER given to my personal preferences about anything dealing with the family.
No thought was EVER given to what I wanted or even what I thought about it.
How it comes across is that you are understandably resentful of your parents' heavy-handedness, and therefore jealous of children whose parents take their feelings into consideration and spend time with them doing things that children like to do. "Why don't all these kids have to put up with what I had to put up with"? << That's not a very nice attitude.
Making decisions based on knowlege and life experience is the privelege of being an adult. How does a 5 year old have any clue where he wants to go on a vacation? He sees something on TV and decides he wants to go.
I have an acquaintance who went to Florida per his child DEMAND and upon arriving at the beach the kid REFUSED to go near the water. When questioned as to why, he replied..."it's wet".
'Nuff said
So you are saying that someone's 5 year old woke up one day and said "Take me to Florida!" and the family did? That's pretty silly, whether it happened that way or you are just trying to make it seem like it happened that way. Since it's an acquaintance of yours and not your best friend, maybe you heard, "the kid wanted to go to Florida," but you didn't hear what led up to that, like a discussion of two different places they could go or the kid saying, "I want to see Mickey Mouse!" and the parents deciding that a trip to DisneyWorld would be so much fun for them and their five-year-old.
As for the blue part, that's pretty typical of young children. My kids loved the idea of the beach and liked the water but HATED the sand sticking to their feet/legs/hands. Some little ones like going to the beach but don't like going in the water at all. Or they like the idea of their feet getting wet but not their knees. Or the water feels cold to them so they think they want to swim but then quickly change their minds.
I think part of this is that you don't know what's normal for young children and part of it is that you can see things that you'd do differently. I, too, was a perfect parent before having children. Some of the things I said I'd never do I actually never did... many of them, though, I just didn't realize were a normal part of parenting, so of course I do them. We're all just doing the best we can with this job of raising tiny children into fully functioning adults.
How it comes across is that you are understandably resentful of your parents' heavy-handedness, and therefore jealous of children whose parents take their feelings into consideration and spend time with them doing things that children like to do. "Why don't all these kids have to put up with what I had to put up with"? << That's not a very nice attitude.
I never cared at the time and I don't care now. In fact I had an amazing childhood living in a gazillion different places and experiencing things that kids today will never experience.
Actually, I think it is incredibly sad that parents are controlled by their kids. It seems to me that they are missing out on a lot of adult fun because of it. They might claim to prefer their circumstances, but I think they have resigned themselves to their fate. Why else would they do "everything they always wanted to do" once the kids are grown and out of the house?
How tragic that they put off their own desires for 20 or 30 years and often are too old to fully enjoy what thet wanted to do. What child is worth that? Pfffft not in my book. You have ONE LIFE.
How tragic that they put off their own desires for 20 or 30 years and often are too old to fully enjoy what thet wanted to do. What child is worth that? Pfffft not in my book. You have ONE LIFE.
you can also be too old to enjoy raising and watching your kid grow if you start too late too...
if you started later in life, do you have the fitness to do everything with kids? would you be healthy enough to watch them graduate college, watch them get married, to spend time with the grandkids, etc?
having a kid isn't about not enjoying other things, it's about enjoying having a kid. if that isn't enough, it's no different than you deciding on going to McDonald's or Burger King for a sandwich, don't have kids...
and no, I don't have kids, but that is something we will decide
I never cared at the time and I don't care now. In fact I had an amazing childhood living in a gazillion different places and experiencing things that kids today will never experience.
Actually, I think it is incredibly sad that parents are controlled by their kids. It seems to me that they are missing out on a lot of adult fun because of it. They might claim to prefer their circumstances, but I think they have resigned themselves to their fate. Why else would they do "everything they always wanted to do" once the kids are grown and out of the house?
How tragic that they put off their own desires for 20 or 30 years and often are too old to fully enjoy what thet wanted to do. What child is worth that? Pfffft not in my book. You have ONE LIFE.
Said by a non-parent. When it's your own child, your desires are generally to do things with that child. Otherwise, why have them? What you think about it doesn't really matter. I might think that maybe you've resigned yourself to the fate of not knowing what it's like to parent a child, but that would be stupid and arrogant of me to say (and I don't think that).
Also, what parent would put things off for 20 or 30 years? LOL Those running-around years last maybe 6 years per kid. So if you have several kids (and they overlap, which is usually the case), you're talking, what, 10 years? You do have to match your travel times to when the kids are in school (if they are in school... we homeschooled, so this was not an issue for us except for when we were hosting exchange students), but that's true for any family with children in school. That can be cumbersome because the kids need to be in class during the off-peak travel periods. So that does impact parents for many years. But the things like not going on certain vacations or spending the weekends at Mommy and Me gymnastics classes don't last very long.
I have to say that my dog, who we've had for four years, cramps my style a TON more than having kids ever did. We can't travel on a whim anymore, can't just pack up and go on a long daytrip without arranging for his care. And we can't take him with us because he's awful in the car and a general pain in the neck when he's in a strange place. We constantly just went away overnight or for the day with our kids. We took them to different countries and enjoyed many different things. We hired a sitter under 10 times in as many years, and we live far from our families. We just packed them up and took them with us because we chose activities that they'd enjoy, too, like most parents do.
Making decisions based on knowlege and life experience is the privelege of being an adult. How does a 5 year old have any clue where he wants to go on a vacation? He sees something on TV and decides he wants to go.
I have an acquaintance who went to Florida per his child DEMAND and upon arriving at the beach the kid REFUSED to go near the water. When questioned as to why, he replied..."it's wet".
'Nuff said
I call BS. Whatever the circumstances, if the kid is from a land-locked state, there is value in going to the beach, and even just seeing the ocean if not touching it. Seeing palm trees, playing in the sand is a neat experience for someone who isn't used to it. Did it harm the parents? Could they go to Colorado on their next vacation?
Quote:
Originally Posted by 20yrsinBranson
I never cared at the time and I don't care now. In fact I had an amazing childhood living in a gazillion different places and experiencing things that kids today will never experience.
Actually, I think it is incredibly sad that parents are controlled by their kids. It seems to me that they are missing out on a lot of adult fun because of it. They might claim to prefer their circumstances, but I think they have resigned themselves to their fate. Why else would they do "everything they always wanted to do" once the kids are grown and out of the house?
How tragic that they put off their own desires for 20 or 30 years and often are too old to fully enjoy what thet wanted to do. What child is worth that? Pfffft not in my book. You have ONE LIFE.
MY child is worth that, especially since I truly enjoy traveling with my kids an exposing them to different places and experiences. You have ONE CHANCE to raise your kids. I wouldn't have believed it 10 years ago, but now that I have one in High School, it really does go fast. We're looking at 3 more years before college, and wondering how we'll fit in all the places we want to take him.
What kind of "adult fun" do you think people are missing out on? Examples? Just curious.
Perhaps if you had a child of your own, you'd understand. If not then thank goodness you don't have any.
20-30 years include the time when kids moved back in with parents as what the current group is doing?
Seriously, who is tied to their kids for 30 years, unless they have special needs? Even if an adult child moves back in, you can certainly do your own thing on weekends and travel without them at that point. Mine are 13 and 15 and even now, I more or less come and go as I please. I do go to their games, and drive them to and from practice and other activities, but I'm able to have plenty of "adult fun" at this point, and for the last few years. I would say sacrificing my own time lasted about 12 years, for the most part. Traveling in the off-season is the next thing I'm looking forward to. That's about 14-15 years total, covering the time they are in K-12 school.
20-30 years include the time when kids moved back in with parents as what the current group is doing?
Even if that is the case, the parents aren't arranging for childcare or avoiding going to certain vacation destinations because the kids don't like beach sand, LOL.
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Some of the things I said I'd never do I actually never did... many of them, though, I just didn't realize were a normal part of parenting, so of course I do them. We're all just doing the best we can with this job of raising tiny children into fully functioning adults.
When it's your own child, your desires are generally to do things with that child. Otherwise, why have them? What you think about it doesn't really matter. I might think that maybe you've resigned yourself to the fate of not knowing what it's like to parent a child, but that would be stupid and arrogant of me to say (and I don't think that). 
