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The Chevy Astro is a bit bigger than the Caravan, but they are not made anymore-mine's a 98, and sadly is having issues. I hope to get more time out of it. We have always had two vehicles-dh has his truck. We buy our vehicles used for cash-I do not want a car payment, because I'd rather spend it on my family.
We did get a dishwasher when #2 was on the way-a good effieient dishwasher actually uses less water and energy than handwashing.
There are lots of good cookbooks and websites on the subject of budget-friendly cooking. I spent some time researching that-I also try to grocery shop at Aldi's or the Walmart Supercenter. And Sams Club too-I love that place! If I had room, I'd garden-we're working on finding a home with space for that.
First, let me say you sound like you have a very good heart....
That being said, I think you might want to think about the practical/financial side of this plan. I think 2 cars (what if you're at work and the kids cuts himself?) and the ability to provide food, clothes, schooling, insurance, and medical care is a necessity.
Also, if the kids have a special talent - sometimes it takes money to foster that. Or if you have a kid with special needs, that will take a good bit of cash (geez, even taking 4 kids to the dentist / orthodontist will be a fortune). Generally, it is a good idea to have money in savings in case something happens.
Since you'll be the one working - is there any way to increase your income above 25k??? School? Starting a business? A year or two of saving? You are a hard worker already, maybe there is a way to increase your potential.
With 4 kids, and an income of 25k, you'll technically be below the poverty line.
I think that if this is what you want, you have to think practically about how you are going to increase your income, and give these kids all the love AND the opportunities they deserve.
Okay, credit cards are not bad. Carrying balances and paying interest is bad. Let's not treat these people like economic simpletons.
If you only make 25m per year you are in no position to have 1 let alone 5 kids. I pay lots of taxes and would rather not be paying for your food stamps, school lunch vouchers and sec8 vouchers. I believe you should be able to raise a family without depending on govt aid.
Also, buying a house before you start a family is a good idea. Obviously, in this market you should be saving toward a down payment until things bottom out.
There is nothing wrong with waiting until you are in your 30s are financially ready to start a family. If you are making 25m you need to go to school and get the skills to earn more as it will be a tough life for you and any kids you and your girlfriend bring into this world.
25 k is only what i am making right now. But I'll be moving soon and those jobs I have will be gone. I would have to find a new job once over there. I am moving to a big city, it be easier to find a good job there. Where I live right now, it becoming more of a retirement city. It is hard to find a good job here. So moving will be a good thing. Plus where I live currently, there is no room for anyone to move up in the company. So going else where is my only solution.
My parents did function well with only one car, but we were only two children in my family. Buy a car can be expensive and maintenaing it (repairs, insurance, Gas...) cost even more through time.
25K a year is tough for even a single person. I made about that 10 years ago and did okay, but then again I lived at home with the folks rent free while I saved up to get me to where I am now financially.
I recommend waiting to have your family, provided you are both young (I don't remember your age) if you are still getting your finances together.
Both you and she can work and build up a nest egg to make life easier down the line.
Assuming you each pull in 25K, that makes 50K for you to work with. Assuming you are not in a high cost area like New York or Chicago (that's me) you should be able to save up for a down payment on a home.
I really don't recommend starting a family when you can't even afford to buy your first house.
And please do not start a family if you have to rely upon the govt for help. Even if you rent, please do not start a family until you make enough to be exempt from food stamps, Sec 8, and other govt programs.
I know its mean, but people like myself should not be paying for your kids. I pay $20K in property tax ($30K next year) for properties in towns to support their school system. I have no children right now yet I am helping pay for those who do. I don't like this, but it is the way things are.
I have accepted paying property taxes to support schools to send other people's kids to school but do not want to be paying for other programs. My guess is, even in low-cost areas you will need to make over 50K to support a family of 4 to 5, maybe more.
Take it one kid at a time, and decide from there. Give each of you (you and her) permission to change your mind at any time about having any more kids. Be realistic about what each of you can handle, including money, patience, chores, time, work. Having a kid is very different from wanting to have a kid; and having your own kids 24/7 is very different from babysitting, friends' kids, nieces and nephews.
Don't hold either her or you to the "you said we were going to have 5 kids." There is absolutely no way to anticipate how each of you will be as a parent, or like parenting, until you are actually parents year after year after year. Be willing to be flexible in that regard for both her and yourself. It is a big issue and a big decision and you both have to agree, one can't override the other on that one
I am a little concerned about the phrase you can "lower yourself to their level" because that in itself shows an attitude of superiority and condescension. I do appreciate though your trying to express an ability and willingness to treat children with respect and dignity.
While it is helpful to seek to learn from other parents, it is far more important to learn from your own experiences as a parent. I guarantee you will be surprised in things you never anticipated you would love and also hate about being a parent. Please take it one kid at a time, please be realistic, please be honest about what both you and the mother of the children can handle. Also take anger management courses.
I am gonna be 30 in 2009 when the wedding might be. She is 26 right now. Me might not start a family till 2011 or 2012. By 2012 we will both be in our 30s. We already have some savings, but not enough to buy a house. I am moving to Winnipeg in September and hoping to get a way better job then here in Northern Ontario. Plus we will both be working till we have kids. So depending on what job i find there, it is possible we could make over the 50k together the first year married.
Why even have 4 or 5 kids? I never understand the reasoning. Why not have less kids and give them a higher quality of life?
And there is nothing wrong with credit cards, its not paying them off that gets you in trouble.
We use credit cards for as much as we can, but we never ever carry a balance. We pay them off 100% every month. This accrues us miles, points, etc and we end up getting several free flights each year and the 3 of us go on 6-8 vacations a year! If you use them to your advantage, credit cards are great!
Honestly, we have one child, who we send to private school, goes on international trips several times a year, has all the opportunities life can offer! People tell us we should have more, we say why? I would rather have less children and give them more than have more children...to me again its a whats with the quantity of family that people are obsessed with, rather than quality of family!?
Take it one kid at a time, and decide from there. Give each of you (you and her) permission to change your mind at any time about having any more kids. Be realistic about what each of you can handle, including money, patience, chores, time, work.
Quote:
Originally Posted by DimSumRaja
While it is helpful to seek to learn from other parents, it is far more important to learn from your own experiences as a parent.
Wonderful Advice!
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not pc advice
