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Old 01-30-2019, 10:29 AM
 
Location: NY>FL>VA>NC>IN
3,563 posts, read 1,879,188 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CGab View Post
I stated this earlier, I don't have a problem with reward systems but any teacher my child ever had (and they are now both in middle school) always gave rewards individually to students on the side as to not upset the other students.

[/b]
I guess you feel that one who earns a reward must hide the fact so those who did not are not "upset"

This thinking is so bizarre to me.

So glad mine are already raised; today's "participation awards" and fear of upsetting those who cannot or will not achieve the highest standards is sick and is breeding hypersensitive weaklings.
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Old 01-30-2019, 11:21 AM
 
3,155 posts, read 2,699,769 times
Reputation: 11985
Quote:
Originally Posted by rere900 View Post
He is unable to keep track of his own stars or know he can't loose or gain a certain number. They only tell the parents, if we know or remember to ask, how many stars the child has.

There were so many things wrong with this system, it's not even funny and the directory agrees. Yesterday when I went in there were memo's on all the kids cubbies explaining to the parents about the rewards program and how it works. A summary of the behaviors being monitored, etc. They also lowered the # of stars from 9, to get a sticker, to 5. Some other things as well. Its a start but still needs some work I think.
I agree with you, OP. In fact, I was thinking it is pretty poor practice not to visually display the progress kids are making, so I totally agree with how you advocated for your child with the school and making positive suggestions that will help all the kids. My kids can't remember how many stars they have, so they have to go count them.

I was making some assumptions that maybe you just missed the displayed stars, or maybe you weren't present for the teacher giving/removing stars. I'm glad you were able to make a positive change and improve how things are managed in the classroom.
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Old 01-30-2019, 11:31 AM
 
3,465 posts, read 4,839,028 times
Reputation: 7026
A lot of the responses in this thread are a window into the explanation of why we have so many late teen to young adult males committing mass shootings. We have parents and others giving them what they want when they cry, giving everyone participation awards, patting them on the back and telling them they did good when in reality they half assed it and rarely if ever telling them no. Then they get a little older and people start telling them no, telling them they couldn't care less who their momma or daddy is and at times putting them in their place. These kids aren't being taught how to deal with failure or rejection and don't know how to cope and work through problems. So what do they do? They go in a rage and do crazy things.

Now try to argue and tell me that doesn't make complete sense. If it doesn't make sense to you, you are one of them. lol
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Old 01-30-2019, 12:10 PM
 
4,041 posts, read 4,960,789 times
Reputation: 4772
Quote:
Originally Posted by dijkstra View Post
A lot of the responses in this thread are a window into the explanation of why we have so many late teen to young adult males committing mass shootings. We have parents and others giving them what they want when they cry, giving everyone participation awards, patting them on the back and telling them they did good when in reality they half assed it and rarely if ever telling them no. Then they get a little older and people start telling them no, telling them they couldn't care less who their momma or daddy is and at times putting them in their place. These kids aren't being taught how to deal with failure or rejection and don't know how to cope and work through problems. So what do they do? They go in a rage and do crazy things.

Now try to argue and tell me that doesn't make complete sense. If it doesn't make sense to you, you are one of them. lol
No, we have so many late teens to young adults committing mass shootings because they are bullied so bad that they think that's what they have to do to get it to stop or they have mental health issues or a combo of the two.
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Old 01-30-2019, 12:41 PM
 
2,129 posts, read 1,776,727 times
Reputation: 8758
Quote:
Originally Posted by dijkstra View Post
A lot of the responses in this thread are a window into the explanation of why we have so many late teen to young adult males committing mass shootings. We have parents and others giving them what they want when they cry, giving everyone participation awards, patting them on the back and telling them they did good when in reality they half assed it and rarely if ever telling them no. Then they get a little older and people start telling them no, telling them they couldn't care less who their momma or daddy is and at times putting them in their place. These kids aren't being taught how to deal with failure or rejection and don't know how to cope and work through problems. So what do they do? They go in a rage and do crazy things.

Now try to argue and tell me that doesn't make complete sense. If it doesn't make sense to you, you are one of them. lol
Again - trained clinical psychologist here.

Get help. Now. You are paranoid and possibly delusional.

OK being a LITTLE hyperbolic there. But you are wrong and I'm not even going to bother to go into why. At least one poster has already done that. I'm sure there are others who can explain the error or your ways to you as well. But I strongly doubt you'll listen so ... I won't waste my time.
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Old 01-30-2019, 01:08 PM
 
12,847 posts, read 9,050,725 times
Reputation: 34919
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pyewackette View Post
I'm a trained clinical psychologist and that is NOT how reward systems are supposed to work for children that age. He is being PUNISHED and he knows it, but he has no idea why. The whole idea behind a reward system is to AVOID feeling punished.

I wouldn't bother trying to educate them. Find a daycare that isn't being run by earth holes.
How is not getting a participation trophy a punishment? Awards are something earned by doing more than the bare minimum. Punishment is for doing something that is wrong. Not the same thing at all. Getting an award is something to strive for.
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Old 01-30-2019, 03:05 PM
 
17,183 posts, read 22,913,302 times
Reputation: 17478
If a preschool is going to use a reward system, there are some things that need to be done for it to be successful.

1. It must be clear what behavior or behaviors are being targeted for change.
2. The prize should be identified ahead of time.
3. The children should know how many stickers earn the reward.
4. The prizes should be achievable for all the children.
5. The rewards or prizes should be something the child really wants.
6. The prizes should be visible so that the child can see what is being worked for.
7. Rewards should be consistently given and not forgotten.
8. The stickers should be connected to the behavior - put them on the sticker chart when they are earned rather than having the children keep them until a later time.
9. It should be positive, not tied to punishments like taking away a sticker for bad behavior.
10. Think of this as a reward system not bribes.
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Old 01-30-2019, 03:29 PM
 
Location: Saint John, IN
11,582 posts, read 6,735,357 times
Reputation: 14786
Quote:
Originally Posted by VexedAndSolitary View Post
I guess you feel that one who earns a reward must hide the fact so those who did not are not "upset"

This thinking is so bizarre to me.

So glad mine are already raised; today's "participation awards" and fear of upsetting those who cannot or will not achieve the highest standards is sick and is breeding hypersensitive weaklings.
Maybe you didn't read that my kids are already in middle school.

At any rate, at the young age of 4 it is not "bizarre" to be careful how to approach an award system with children and when my kids were in preschool they didn't even have one, not till they were in Kindergarten.
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Old 01-30-2019, 03:32 PM
 
Location: Saint John, IN
11,582 posts, read 6,735,357 times
Reputation: 14786
Quote:
Originally Posted by RationalExpectations View Post
At the end of the day, it is just preschool. It doesn't really matter one way or the other - so go ahead and change to one you are more comfortable with.
I disagree. Not only is it preschool, but it's the child's first experience with school. If they don't have a good experience there, it will impact how they view elementary school. Plus, the OP's child is not there for just a few hours, their child is there all day for preschool/daycare and should feel comfortable and safe.
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Old 01-30-2019, 04:57 PM
 
Location: NY>FL>VA>NC>IN
3,563 posts, read 1,879,188 times
Reputation: 6001
Quote:
Originally Posted by CGab View Post
Maybe you didn't read that my kids are already in middle school.

At any rate, at the young age of 4 it is not "bizarre" to be careful how to approach an award system with children and when my kids were in preschool they didn't even have one, not till they were in Kindergarten.
The portion of your post I quoted/responded to stated awards were given "on the side" so those who did not earn one would not be upset.
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