Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
That was not tolerated in my home. What they did outside my home...best not let me find out.
But I also set the example. I don't/didn't smoke pot.
My oldest son moved back home for a short time, and started smoking (cigarettes) in his bedroom. I found out and told him if he wanted to smoke, do it outside or in the garage. Luckily for him, it was easy enough for him to decide it wasn't worth the hassle of going outside, so he quit.
I didn't answer the survey but would like to offer my 2 cents here.
As far as "letting" a child smoke pot, ours sons never "asked" for permission. We always instilled in them that these types of decisions were theirs to make as I believe when you prohibit an activity, you drive it underground where you cannot regulate or have knowledge of it. We have always told them that "if you're going to do something stupid, be smart about it". While all 3 boys have smoked pot, it has not gotten in the way of their education, or careers.
As far as alcohol is concerned, we allowed them to have an occasional beer or drink at home to gain some experience and to "demystify" drinking. I have seen many too strict parents try to restrict pot or alcohol from their children, only to have their child go off the deep end when they went away to college (or when the parents weren't around).
This "policy" has worked for us and the boys. All 3 have completed college, 2 have masters' degrees and the older two have exceptional careers. The youngest is in the process of getting his career off the ground.
So them getting a job and degree thwarted drug use? Hmmm....interesting. I know many engineers and Lawyers that do drugs.
Seriously some restrictions are better to state and live by then to leave it to a teen to experiment with. Huffing was all the rage years ago. Based solely on your concept..would you have been as laissez-faire to that too? I respect a bit of leniency in curiousity..I tend though to bring no harm to my kids when in my care...
So them getting a job and degree thwarted drug use? Hmmm....interesting. I know many engineers and Lawyers that do drugs.
Seriously some restrictions are better to state and live by then to leave it to a teen to experiment with. Huffing was all the rage years ago. Based solely on your concept..would you have been as laissez-faire to that too? I respect a bit of leniency in curiousity..I tend though to bring no harm to my kids when in my care...
THE KEY WORD TO HIS POST (to me was "demystify")
I was fortunate I had a good kid straight A's now a pharmacist...
if he was a doper slob i'd have parented differently..
but I also took the mystery out of alcohol.....and cigarettes... he hated both and will fall less to peer pressure when with substances ..
when my son was very young...we had him in a childcare of dr's and nurses and the kids would get together for birthdays and summer gatherings and us parents would talk......when the kids were young..yep not in my house zero tolerance attitude......but when they actually got in high school...….one parent called me she was a dr. and my son was over with some other friends and she said.....look I stopped these kids from going to a party with older kids... at a camp...the parents are out of town...… she said my biggest fear is a phone call from the cops ...saying the worst kids in a car an accident...she said she had seen firsthand teenagers mangled and killed in vehicle crashes …… and also killing innocents.....anyways she said I never thought id ever say this but the kids are staying here out in the tents..i have all their keys...… they will not leave..
she asked if I had a problem if my son had a wine cooler …. again they weren't going anywhere.... i answered her and suggested that if they were to have one they had to ask thru you and answer why they wanted one....
she agreed and told them if they wanted to have adult privileges they need to act like one and ask …
ive heard of other parents giving their kids alcohol and i always frowned on it thinking they were encouraging it.....but ive known too many kids that got killed in car accidents.... and ive seen the eyes of the parents....they never get over it and once one parent told me...i wished i gave him a beer at home...… the kid was in the car - the driver his friend was stoned and had a couple beers killed all the kids in the car..
In states where it is still illegal for recreational use, do young people still actually buy from street dealers plastic bags filled with the actual natural stuff and roll it in papers to smoke it, or through these artisan or homemade water pipes?
How do they actually procure it and prepare it for consumption? What about in Alaska, California, Colorado, Maine, Massachusetts, Michigan, Nevada, Oregon, Vermont and Washington where it seems to be legal for recreational use?
I live in California, and you have to be 21 years old to legally purchase cannabis... used to be 18 (when it was only medically legal), but they raised it to 21 when the recreational laws went into effect. I think you can still purchase medically at 18, but sometimes it depends on the specific city and/or dispensary. So I guess they just buy from friends, or get someone over 21 to buy it for them? Much like we did with alcohol when I was a teen.
As for HOW they smoke it, I'm not really sure. But I think in general, vaping and edibles are becoming much more popular here in CA. If not, they just use a glass pipe or other device; metal pipes and joints are less common now, regardless of one's age.
My Grandson is hitting his Teen Years and One day I overheard him chatting away.
I said to him.....Well Lets see: A: No Adult in our state is allowed to smoke anything in their car with kids in it. No Adult is allowed to Drink (alcohol and drive). So given that ....do you really think I'm going to idly stand by while you ( who the law protects) suddenly partakes in that which is denied others for good reason.
Its thankfully illegal in my state, but soon to be changed so that ten years from now after more fatalities happen and more idiotic kids are driving stoned...will the state go..Oops! Guess that wasn't so good for humanity....but dang Look at our Revenue !!! WOohoo!!
How would making it recreationally legal cause people to suddenly start driving impaired? It's always been incredibly easy to obtain here (CA), and very little changed with the new laws... and there's a big difference between using the stuff and driving under its influence, neither of which are limited to legal use. If you're going to drive drunk or stoned, you're going to do it regardless. And if you're not, well, you're not.
It's essentially been legal here for 20+ years, since the medical laws are/were a big joke. And as far as I know, we don't have a bigger problem with stoned drivers than other states do. I worry more about drunks, anyway, considering THEY are the ones causing more accidents! But I still don't think alcohol should be illegal.
Huffing was all the rage years ago. Based solely on your concept..would you have been as laissez-faire to that too?
Pretty sure you can't DIE from cannabis, no matter how much or how often you do it... same cannot be said for "huffing," which literally cuts off the oxygen to your brain (and can cause instant death). So that's a pretty invalid comparison, like asking if a parent is okay with their child jumping off a bridge because they ride a bike.
I’m very fortunate to have extremely straight-laced kids, so this was not an issue, but I am opposed to children/teens using alcohol or drugs, so I certainly would not have looked the other way had any of them decided to try it.
Is it allowing the kid to openly or obviously smoke weed? Or deciding not to ask questions about what happened after the graduation party at their friends cabin?
I won't encourage it. I would discourage it. Smoke affects my breathing so she couldn't do it in the home or near it anyway. If she disrespected that, I have a whole lot more problems than her smoking pot.
We encourage innovation and thoughtfulness in our home. There is nothing original about bringing out board games or watching movies for entertainment. It is easy enough to say yes or no or to come up with additional games or movies.
We teach the same idea about drugs and alcohol. Introducing the drug to a party might be new to the group, but it is nothing original or unique. Also, the person presenting the opportunity should not be placed on a special or higher status. What my daughter needs to look out for is that person expecting to be treated differently or the group treating the unoriginal idea as something special. Being aware of that situation and dealing with it is what needs to be learned. It will happen. How a person handles it can make or burn bridges and that is what all people deal with, not just children.
Short answer is it depends. Are we talking 13 or 19? Are they using it recreationally or for medical reasons? Are they using it once in a while as a party drug or all day every day? Is it interfering with school and/or work? Is it legal and if so what’s the legal age?
It’s a little more complicated than a simple black and white to me...but I would lean towards not alllowing to the extent I can control it.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
