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It's really wrong for you to hold back the title in a vehicle she paid for herself, even if you're coming from a place of caring. De facto theft, really. I'd be furious if it were me, especially since you're adding additional conditions after she already worked to meet your conditions. She's an adult, she's paying for the car, the repairs, and the insurance herself, and she did everything you asked of her. And it's not like she was even driving recklessly in the first place.
A driving class sounds like a nice 18th birthday present.
It wasn’t about holding back the title. The car needed to be repaired after the second accident before it could be driven. They made her take the responsibility and save the money to get it repaired. That’s why she hasn’t been driving because she doesn’t have the money saved yet. I Don’t think it’s wrong to make her pay for the damage she caused to her car.
It wasn’t about holding back the title. The car needed to be repaired after the second accident before it could be driven. They made her take the responsibility and save the money to get it repaired. That’s why she hasn’t been driving because she doesn’t have the money saved yet. I Don’t think it’s wrong to make her pay for the damage she caused to her car.
Yes, but now the OP is proposing holding back the title until she takes a driving class, even though she's 18 and she paid for the car herself. That's the whole point of the thread.
Yes, but now the OP is proposing holding back the title until she takes a driving class, even though she's 18 and she paid for the car herself. That's the whole point of the thread.
The fact she’s 18 has nothing to do with it. The girl had two accidents within 5 months of getting her license. She lives at home and is a dependent on OP, and as such they have every right to continue to parent her however they believe is right.
The fact she’s 18 has nothing to do with it. The girl had two accidents within 5 months of getting her license. She lives at home and is a dependent on OP, and as such they have every right to continue to parent her however they believe is right.
Oh, sure. And they can reap the consequences of bad parenting decisions, too, like reneging on a deal they made with her.
The fact she’s 18 has nothing to do with it. The girl had two accidents within 5 months of getting her license. She lives at home and is a dependent on OP, and as such they have every right to continue to parent her however they believe is right.
Rights, "Rights," RIGHTS!
The fact that she's 18 is entirely relevant; it means that she has the legal right to tell them to go %^&* themselves, put that $3K into a different car, and avoid her parents' input entirely.
She would always have the "right" to tell them that changing the terms of the agreement - that it's her car because she paid for it - isn't fair.
But it sounds like the OP is logical and agreeable and has smoothed this problem over in a way that is agreeable to everyone.
It can be difficult for parents to let go of the de-facto control they've had over their children, once those children become adults. Harder for some than for others. Some new adults have to rip it from their rigid, screaming parents' fingers.
Sorry, but the old adage “Our house our rules” still applies. She agreed to drive safely I’m sure, too.
Sure, they can make a rule what she can't eat pineapple on Tuesdays if they like. But that's how you end up never being allowed alone with future grandchildren, lol.
The OP seems more sensible than that, thankfully, even if they're struggling a bit with how to best implement gradual release of responsibility.
Sure, they can make a rule what she can't eat pineapple on Tuesdays if they like. But that's how you end up never being allowed alone with future grandchildren, lol.
The OP seems more sensible than that, thankfully, even if they're struggling a bit with how to best implement gradual release of responsibility.
It really doesn’t sound like they have that kind of relationship. Few do. Most kids understand they still have to abide by a parents rules while living in their home, and they don’t punish their parents for being parents. Yes I think OP sounds sensible and a good parent. It is others here saying she’s “wrong” in her parenting decisions where driving is concerned.
I just think the notion that the minute you turn 18, you get to live by your own rules even while depending on your parents to support you is ridiculous.
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