My stepson's girlfriend's parents don't even give her money when she comes out with us

[OnOurWayHome]

I always make sure my 16yo son has money when he is invited somewhere by a friend. Usually the parents treat anyway, but I've taught him to always offer. And to try to pay for something, like the ice cream at a baseball game if they paid for his ticket, for example.

When he brings a friend with us, we usually pay, although almost all of them offer to. If it's a group and we're going somewhere expensive, I'll let the parents know how much..for example, I always take a bunch of them to the water park at the end of the school year. The kids have their own tickets, but I buy them lunch.

The kids are all really nice and the parents take turns hosting/treating, so I think it's fair.

OP, you and your husband need to tell your son what you can and can't afford. He can find cheaper ways to take his girlfriend out. Most kids don't have much money at that age. It's nice that he still wants to hang out with you guys, but he can't take advantage.

[KaraG]

Originally Posted by Jdawg8181

Actually I never let men pay for me .. considering too up until now, I dated men whose salaries were half mine.

My husband and I have always split … or he would pay one time, and then I would pay the next time. That's the fairest way and also I am not a golddigger

We shouldn't teach girls that it is the man/boy's responsibility to pay b/c it's 2019, women work now, women are OUTEARNING men in many industries and it's a sign of respect and extremely powerful when woman makes her own $$ and takes care of the bill or offers to pay half.

(and this is coming from a woman)

b/c when women expect men to pay all the time, that attitude leads to many women feeling entitled and becoming materialistic or high-maintenance

Feel free to teach your own daughter, if you ever have one, to act this way, but don't expect others, especially a teenager who doesn't have a job, to pay her way on a "date." That's just not the norm.

Frankly, I think the whole situation is a bit bizarre. I never went on movie dates with parents and my kids never asked to take dates when our family went places. They all started working at 14 so they had their own money when they got to the age where they wanted to go out.

If your stepson doesn't have a job, I'd see if your husband would be good with setting up some chores for an allowance for the purpose of having money to pay for his own dates.

[Sundaydrive00]

Originally Posted by Jdawg8181

They don't want her in a situation like where they could be making out or something … movies lead to arms around eachother, which leads to more … I get it and the parents are justified on that.

Really, you get it? The parents don't think your responsible enough to supervise their daughter with your stepson in your own home. I would feel pretty insulted with such an arrangement.

I can understand not wanting their daughter at your house when no one else is home, but if they don't even allow her over with adult supervision, I would not be bending over backwards to accommodate this request.

Would the two really start making out when watching a movie in the living room with the rest of the family there? That seems odd. When I was that age, there is no way I would show any sort of affection towards my boyfriend besides maybe a quick hug goodbye or holding hands. I couldn't even imagine making out on the couch while watching a movie with his parents. And if this is something they would do at your home, what's to stop them in a dark movie theater?

Is your stepson allowed over to their house, or are they always going on outings with the kids too?