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You better be very sure if you make call to CPS because your marriage will suffer. Your hub will know it was you.
Thank you. He and I will make this decision together. We also stand to lose a significant inheritance if we do move forward with allegations. I hope that makes clear to you and others how troubled I genuinely am by her behavior. One respondent recognizes several red flags for intergenerational sexual trauma in the same description other people think is harmless. What a tough situation to sort through!
I totally agree that it's tough to picture someone holding a child by his penis through diapers and clothing, it's like trying to hold something through a pillow.
Yeah, sounds like a hold a lot of parents make, video for reference, notice how often this dad's hands come into contact with buttocks/crotch area. I don't see anything nefarious there. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LIvZHPeYy6Q
Sorry, but I don’t see the part where this gentleman in the video is affectionately tapping this child’s private. Or restraining his movement by cupping his crotch. Different thing entirely.
I understand wanting to give her benefit of the doubt, but this is seriously not ok. Who knows where it goes from there. Kids are really moldable, you really can't afford to take this risk.
I'm trying to imagine being an adult and working my way through repressed sexual abuse with a therapist, and finding out my aunt didn't want to say anything because she thought she might lose out on an inheritance.
Sorry, but I don’t see the part where this gentleman in the video is affectionately tapping this child’s private. Or restraining his movement by cupping his crotch. Different thing entirely.
In your response to me, that's not what you said is happening. You said she was holding him BY THE LEG. These are 2 completely different things.
If you were talking about a 3-year old girl, and your father-in-law was constantly finding flimsy reasons to touch her vagina, what would be your reaction to that? Would you really need to ask whether it was appropriate?
Exactly.
If this were a man doing the same thing, we wouldn't even be having this thread. The man would be sitting prison right now.
If this were a man doing the same thing, we wouldn't even be having this thread. The man would be sitting prison right now.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. In-Between
If you were talking about a 3-year old girl, and your father-in-law was constantly finding flimsy reasons to touch her vagina, what would be your reaction to that? Would you really need to ask whether it was appropriate?
Exactly. If this were a man he would be in prison or there would be a crowd with pitchforks and torches outside his house. It's no different if a woman is doing it.
Sorry, but I don’t see the part where this gentleman in the video is affectionately tapping this child’s private. Or restraining his movement by cupping his crotch. Different thing entirely.
You notice where his hand is? That's my point, that just because an adult may hold an infant or toddler with their hand in the crotch area does not automatically mean something untoward is going on. Sometimes it is nothing more than getting a grip on a squirmy child. I don't know your experience around toddlers so AFAIK maybe you don't see it much and it causes you undue concern. OTOH we can't see what you see either, all I'm saying is you need to be certain that you aren't making accusations over a common behavior.
I'm trying to imagine being an adult and working my way through repressed sexual abuse with a therapist, and finding out my aunt didn't want to say anything because she thought she might lose out on an inheritance.
Right?!
OP you need to just call her out when she is doing it. If you see it again tell her right then and there. Don’t leave her alone with your son, you aren’t comfortable, you think something may be going on. Trust your gut. A mother’s intuition should be listened to.
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