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Old 07-16-2019, 08:31 AM
 
Location: North East
147 posts, read 53,439 times
Reputation: 443

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Yikes, can't imagine my 12 year old dating. I'd also tell that kid to get lost.
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Old 07-16-2019, 08:55 AM
 
8,200 posts, read 3,000,789 times
Reputation: 18802
OP, I am not so old, that I don't remember kids being girlfriends and boyfriends in 6th and 7th grade. (11 and 12 yr. olds). I'm rolling my eyes at everyone saying they can't IMAGINE a girl having a boyfriend at 12.


I'm 62 years old. I remember kids in my class, at that age, "going together". Granted, it's not the same as having a BF at 16 or 17...of course it's not the same...but I challenge any parent to KEEP it from happening, because you can't because they go to school together.


OP, I'd tell your daughter what happened. Maybe take her to a local Dairy Queen, buy a blizzard, and tell her what you saw. Yes, she'll be heartbroken...but in all likelihood...this boy was going to break her heart anyway.
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Old 07-16-2019, 11:26 AM
 
Location: Massachusetts
10,081 posts, read 11,144,757 times
Reputation: 14103
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sassybluesy View Post
OP, I am not so old, that I don't remember kids being girlfriends and boyfriends in 6th and 7th grade. (11 and 12 yr. olds). I'm rolling my eyes at everyone saying they can't IMAGINE a girl having a boyfriend at 12.
I was in grade and high school in the 1990's.....

At 12 years old, some of my classmates were doing a hell of a lot more than just playing boyfriend and girlfriend with each other.
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Old 07-16-2019, 12:30 PM
 
Location: Fort Lauderdale, Florida
9,966 posts, read 8,859,565 times
Reputation: 22048
Quote:
Originally Posted by homestead123 View Post
Yikes, can't imagine my 12 year old dating. I'd also tell that kid to get lost.
Kids are growing up at light speed these days.

It's a shame that they are missing their childhood.
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Old 07-16-2019, 02:02 PM
 
56 posts, read 13,615 times
Reputation: 186
Quote:
Originally Posted by blueherons View Post
Kids are growing up at light speed these days.

It's a shame that they are missing their childhood.
It is a shame and just because it's happening doesn't make it okay.

Very few kids of that young age are prepared to handle the emotions involved.

I would not tell the daughter what you saw OP as that would bring up the question of why you just happened to see it.

Simply lay down the rules in a cheerful way: "so glad you and Henry are friends, now he can join the rest of your friends when they come to our house Friday afternoon."

Keep a sharp eye on him and prepare for tears in the end.
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Old 07-16-2019, 02:39 PM
 
5,585 posts, read 6,909,733 times
Reputation: 9141
Quote:
Originally Posted by TexasLawyer2000 View Post
I think the OP is in the United States where it is perfectly fine to date and not in Syria or whatever country you may be in. Dating when you are 12 is different than when you are 16, of course... most often supervised or at least at the mall while parents are also shopping.
I'm in the US. Born and raised. Several generations. Still no reason for a 12 year old to have a boyfriend/girlfriend. How is it appropriate for a 12 year old to talk about being horny with their 12 year old boy/girl friend? How exactly is a 12 year old equipped to handle being "in love" and all the emotional baggage that goes with it? There are adults who can't even handle that. Funny, when I was getting my degree in Early Childhood Development (something I'm guessing you don't have), I was taught the the brain of a 12 year old is just flat out not developed enough for these things.
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Old 07-16-2019, 05:21 PM
 
4,979 posts, read 2,143,620 times
Reputation: 9834
"Any advice will help."

telling her that he is a jerk will elevate his attractiveness.
girls want good guys to marry...bad boys for everything else.

time to establish your dating rules for her.
1. be specific (arrive home by 11:11. not 11:12).
2. be consistent: exceptions are approved DAYS before.
3. remain aware: tell her nothing is private. you will find out.
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Old 07-17-2019, 08:18 AM
 
8,200 posts, read 3,000,789 times
Reputation: 18802
Quote:
Originally Posted by BostonMike7 View Post
I was in grade and high school in the 1990's.....

At 12 years old, some of my classmates were doing a hell of a lot more than just playing boyfriend and girlfriend with each other.

Same here BostonMike. I remember pregnant girls in junior high. It happens.
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Old 07-17-2019, 08:24 AM
 
8,200 posts, read 3,000,789 times
Reputation: 18802
Quote:
Originally Posted by CarnivalGal View Post
I'm in the US. Born and raised. Several generations. Still no reason for a 12 year old to have a boyfriend/girlfriend. How is it appropriate for a 12 year old to talk about being horny with their 12 year old boy/girl friend? How exactly is a 12 year old equipped to handle being "in love" and all the emotional baggage that goes with it? There are adults who can't even handle that. Funny, when I was getting my degree in Early Childhood Development (something I'm guessing you don't have), I was taught the the brain of a 12 year old is just flat out not developed enough for these things.

I'm not saying it's appropriate, to say these things, but geez, boys that age think about sex ALL THE TIME. Since you have your degree in Early Childhood Development, I'll assume you know that.


OBVIOUSLY they're immature, but it doesn't negate that 12 yr. olds can and do develop romantic and sexual feelings for each other. At that age, it's something that parents need to manage. Not stick their heads in the sand and pretend like it's not happening, and not get in an outrage and say "My kid would never..."
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Old 07-17-2019, 01:01 PM
 
Location: Coastal New Jersey
59,580 posts, read 57,119,945 times
Reputation: 71031
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sassybluesy View Post
OP, I am not so old, that I don't remember kids being girlfriends and boyfriends in 6th and 7th grade. (11 and 12 yr. olds). I'm rolling my eyes at everyone saying they can't IMAGINE a girl having a boyfriend at 12.


I'm 62 years old. I remember kids in my class, at that age, "going together". Granted, it's not the same as having a BF at 16 or 17...of course it's not the same...but I challenge any parent to KEEP it from happening, because you can't because they go to school together.


OP, I'd tell your daughter what happened. Maybe take her to a local Dairy Queen, buy a blizzard, and tell her what you saw. Yes, she'll be heartbroken...but in all likelihood...this boy was going to break her heart anyway.
I'm just a year younger than you. Of course kids were having "boyfriends and girlfriends" back then, too. I remember kids in sixth grade pairing off.

My dd did, too. When they were 12, the summer between 6th and 7th, she and "Nick" went to the movies and the mall together with another set of friends, and I drove them. They agreed to "break up" and just be friends in the fall because he had football and she had horseback riding and they didn't have time. She liked horses better anyway.
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