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Old 07-18-2019, 05:42 PM
 
Location: tampa bay
7,124 posts, read 8,626,494 times
Reputation: 11771

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sassybluesy View Post
The OP caught the boy saying these things to ANOTHER girl.


MY point is directed to those who said their 12 yr old would never have a boyfriend or girlfriend, and that it's too young, etc. Trying to make OP feel like she's a lousy mom for letting her daughter HAVE a boyfriend. My point is, LOTS of kids this age pair up. It's normal.


And I think all of us AGREE that THIS boy is NOT being appropriate, and NOT good for OP's daughter. How have you made it this far along in the thread and not picked up on that?
Holy hell relax...I miss read it...not trying to make the mom feel like a lousy mom...just my advice to shut this relationship down...I still believe that 12 is too young to "pair up"...if you start pairing up at 12 what will you be doing at 14? I think 12 is a time for group activities with friends... what's the big rush?
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Old 07-19-2019, 08:09 AM
 
13,262 posts, read 7,980,529 times
Reputation: 30753
Quote:
Originally Posted by Irishiis49 View Post
Holy hell relax...I miss read it...not trying to make the mom feel like a lousy mom...just my advice to shut this relationship down...I still believe that 12 is too young to "pair up"...if you start pairing up at 12 what will you be doing at 14? I think 12 is a time for group activities with friends... what's the big rush?

I'll relax when people stop misrepresenting what I say.
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Old 07-19-2019, 02:08 PM
 
2,919 posts, read 1,611,229 times
Reputation: 7149
Quote:
Originally Posted by Irishiis49 View Post
Holy hell relax...I miss read it...not trying to make the mom feel like a lousy mom...just my advice to shut this relationship down...I still believe that 12 is too young to "pair up"...if you start pairing up at 12 what will you be doing at 14? I think 12 is a time for group activities with friends... what's the big rush?
Completely agree.

Hormonal changes alone are a big enough issue at that age without complicating life with a "boyfriend/girlfriend"

Children should know each other socially not romantically. They're too immature as this boy's behavior has shown.

Yes kids of 12-14 have been known to be in "love", that doesn't make it okay as probably they would be the first to admit when they became adults.
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Old 07-19-2019, 02:27 PM
 
13,262 posts, read 7,980,529 times
Reputation: 30753
Quote:
Originally Posted by RubyandPearl View Post
Completely agree.

Hormonal changes alone are a big enough issue at that age without complicating life with a "boyfriend/girlfriend"

Children should know each other socially not romantically. They're too immature as this boy's behavior has shown.

Yes kids of 12-14 have been known to be in "love", that doesn't make it okay as probably they would be the first to admit when they became adults.

It IS OK, in a monitored and controlled way. They do things in groups, you chaperone, etc.
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Old 07-19-2019, 04:52 PM
 
2,919 posts, read 1,611,229 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sassybluesy View Post
It IS OK, in a monitored and controlled way. They do things in groups, you chaperone, etc.
What you are describing is friendship-- which is appropriate--not dating which is not appropriate at that age.

Last edited by RubyandPearl; 07-19-2019 at 05:48 PM..
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Old 07-20-2019, 12:28 PM
 
Location: Foot of the Rockies
90,316 posts, read 120,488,465 times
Reputation: 35920
Quote:
Originally Posted by Larry Caldwell View Post
It was the same in the 1950s. Some of my classmates were pretty shy, others took to sex like a duck to water. From some of the comments here, I have to wonder if some of these people ever went through puberty.
To clarify, I said neither of my girls had boyfriends at 12. I did not mean to imply that no one did. Certainly at my junior high in 1961 when I was 12, there were "couples". However, from my personal observations, and talking to friends, kids of friends, etc, there is less of it at 12 than some people think. See this: https://www.natureworldnews.com/arti...ived-study.htm
"Adolescents are Less Sexually Active than Perceived: A Study"
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Old 07-20-2019, 01:07 PM
 
Location: Texas
13,480 posts, read 8,336,486 times
Reputation: 25948
What does "having 60" mean?
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Old 07-20-2019, 05:44 PM
 
2,819 posts, read 2,574,135 times
Reputation: 3554
I see no issue with 12yo kids dating if it’s chaperoned. I don’t think they should be physically involved beyond hand holding. My son is 9 and has had girlfriends - which means they hung out on the playground slide or something. It’s inappropriate for them to be hooking up, of course, but dating? Did none of y’all date at that age? I know I did and (gasp) didn’t kiss a boy until I was 16. This was in spite of having the same boyfriend for years up to that point.
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Old 07-21-2019, 10:37 AM
 
2,919 posts, read 1,611,229 times
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My first best friend was a boy, we were going to get married and have a TV show like Roy Rogers and Dale Evans (that'll date me) his mother referred to me as his "steady" and his name being Billy we used to sing Can She Bake A Cherry Pie Billy Boy, the She being me.

This was from babyhood till 5 yo, we occasionally kissed and recognized it was because we loved each other as boy and girl.

The HUGE difference between that and 12 year olds is puberty.

Parents need to use some sense about situations like this at that age. Kids can't be watched every second, things can and do happen, and as the OP found out boys in particular have notoriously bad judgement about the subject of sex and can barely see through the haze of their hormones.

The consequences of what could happen most of which impact the girl make dating, boyfriend/girlfriend inappropriate.

Last edited by RubyandPearl; 07-21-2019 at 10:45 AM..
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Old 07-21-2019, 11:02 AM
 
579 posts, read 519,737 times
Reputation: 2117
Quote:
Originally Posted by PriscillaVanilla View Post
What does "having 60" mean?
It's a typo.

Having TO tell my...
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