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Some medical knowledge maybe necessary to make an informed decision.
Get some testing done on genetic markers on both sides of the family. This gives indicators of probability of certain carriers..re: ms,downs syndrome.
Usually pre natal care starts way before the actual conception. My doctor said..usually a year before start making some dietary changes and physical health regime.
I did none of the above ..which in reflection DID create some hiccups down the road.
I'd be leary on the long term meds required for the diagnosed person. Whatever the maternal takes does effect the fetus.
Weigh out your ability , and the long term commitment of another life.
I'm not a parent yet; but I absolutely relate to your situation.
When we first started dating my husband and I were firmly in the "no kids ever" camp. Both of us had our own reasons; part of mine was I'm bipolar and suffer from anxiety. I grew up with several individuals with various disorders and while many people can work and find it worthwhile to help those individuals have a normal and adjusted life it's a lot to ask from any partner.
In the end my husband and me slowly changed our minds as we got closer and our relationship revealed our best qualities as individuals and partners. Once we got engaged I involved my husband in my medical needs and he took his time exploring my disorder and how I was affected by it so that he can help manage and engage me during my swings which has made a huge difference at keeping me stable.
Everyone's different and that's the most important thing about having any disorder or child. Plenty of people have bipolar disorder and their children never end up having the disorder. Plenty of people are able to manager their disorder and successfully raise children. The important part is your healthy and willing to work on that no matter what. Personally in the case of raising a child while bipolar, I would suggest a willing and educated partner who is 120% in with you no matter what. Children do take a lot of attention and when your swings start you're going to need to be a bit selfish and take time for yourself (even if it's a moment to medicate); that's were a partner is critical.
How genetic is bipolar? What are the odds of any child you produce being bipolar? Are you OK with that?
If I could go back I'd do a lot of things differently, but not having a child is not one of them.
But my kid was healthy, smart, and good natured. He was easy to raise and he is a great adult. That does not guarantee that you will get a great kid who is easy to raise.
I see a lot of kids out in public that if I could only have that one, I wouldn't want a child. Children are not all wonderful.
Would it help to know that genetically certain maladies can skip generations?.
I am 100% sure that my love of parenting was impacting. Who? Or how..continues to be revealed....and not in the most pleasant of ways.
My youngest was in his 20's when his psychological condition sent out a huge warning sign to seek help.prior to that , I, the loving parent was blind to it. It had skipped two generations and landed on my sons gene link.
Not one ounce of my being though wants this hardship for my son. Yet here we are...
He is intelligent...meek and often witty. Yet he is desparately aware that his symptoms/behaviors isolate him to leed a so called "normal", social existance.
Sure I'd parent again...exactly with the same sons I have now. I don't regret their exisrance. .nor do I think as a family we turned out worse for wear...instead we turned out with the challenges and adaption to perservere.
(Yup, take me back to their infant and toddler days...those were the delightful and wonderous times!!)
If I had not read this so late last night, some of the "red flags" may have hit me better. The poster above me mentioned the men holding him down to put a catheter on just because he could produce a urine specimen. That sounds really fishy to me. Ten minutes in and they're doing this. I find that doubtful given the circumstances.
I have bipolar. I am in a relationship with a guy who doesn't want to have kids.
Now I am questioning having kids myself.
I like to be a mom. But I don't want to have bipolar kids.
I also don't want to be depressed or mean c in my pregnancy and get crazy with child hyper or tantrum.
But worst, I don't want to break up with my current boyfriend, find another guy, decide to go through pregnancy, have th kids and then regret having the kids.
I want to be honest with me. Have you ever regret being parent and would change your mind if you had a chance to?
Being a parent is the hardest job in the world. Tougher than being the president. It definitely has its ups and downs and it will transforms you forever.
The thing is only you can decide if you want to have kids or not.
It doesn't matter if someone here regretted it or not. I think for us women is kind of natural to want to have kids; it's our biological clock ticking. I know women who chose not to have kids for various reasons: overpopulation, demanding job, not happy with the state of the world (why bring another being into this wretched world).
I can also tell you that you, with bipolar disorder will have challenges to face. I have a friend from college who is now severely bipolar to the point where her son was in and out of foster care because of her neglect. Actually this is his story published first in the People magazine and then made into a movie https://people.com/archive/will-you-...-vol-71-no-13/
I also know a bipolar mother who is raising a kid by herself and she is doing well because her bipolar is not that severe and she is taking her medication. My college friend was not.
ANd if you wonder, the kid in question has graduated from Harvard and is working in Brazil for some big company or something. He also arranged for his mother to return to her country of birth, because she wasn't able to concentrate and lost her job and wasn't able to pay her bills and risked to be thrown out in the street. At least over there she has relatives to live with and take care of her. She is unable to function independently.
Im saying this because only you know the severity of your illness. Boyfriends come and go, a kid is a commitment for life. I wish you thought about having kids outside of your boyfriend situation.
Last edited by XRiteMA98; 09-03-2019 at 02:50 PM..
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